If you pay for an airline seat, you should get to actually sit in it?

That’s what’s at the heart of John Bailey’s case against American Airlines. He bought five round-trip tickets from Dallas to Boston for a family event. One of them was for his 2-year-old grandson, Riggs.

“After we boarded, a flight attendant asked if Riggs would give up his seat for another passenger who didn’t want to sit in her assigned seat in the back row of the plane,” Bailey recalls. “The flight attendant asked if Riggs could sit in his father’s lap.”

What happened next sparked a months-long battle with American Airlines that would eventually require our intervention.

The story raises several important questions that many families face when flying:

• Are children over two years old legally required to have their own seat during flight?
• What are airlines required to do when they need to reassign seats after passengers have boarded?
• How should passengers escalate complaints when standard customer service fails to resolve legitimate grievances?

“You forced him to sit in the lap of an adult for a four-hour flight”

Bailey’s outbound flight from Dallas to Boston went smoothly. But the return trip is where things took a turn for the worse.

After Bailey’s family boarded Flight 479 and settled into their assigned seats, a crewmember approached with an unusual request. Another passenger didn’t want to sit in her assigned seat in the back row of the plane. 

Would they mind having Riggs sit in his father’s lap?

Bailey says they didn’t feel like they could say “no.” (Note: Federal law and American Airlines policy requires a child over two to buy an adult fare, which entitles that child to a seat. I’ll have more details on that in a minute.) 

“You forced him to sit in the lap of an adult for a four-hour flight,” he wrote to American Airlines in an email.

Bailey felt like the least American could do was to refund $168, or 50 percent of the round-trip ticket price.

What followed was a bureaucratic maze that would test his patience and persistence.

First, American sent him a denial because, “After reviewing your case, I would like to clarify that the seats were pre-reserved, but unfortunately, they were not purchased.”

Huh?

“I did, in fact, purchase a ticket,” he fired back, providing his credit card information as proof. 

The case then made its way to American’s refunds department, which sent back an even more bewildering response. Addressing their correspondence to “Dear Riggs” – the 2-year-old – they claimed this was merely a seat assignment issue.

“I’m sorry the advanced seat assignment you selected was not the seat you received at the time of your departure,” the refunds team wrote. “As the seat selection was complimentary and no charges were incurred for these seats, we are unable to process a refund.”

Bailey couldn’t believe it. 

“Clearly, they didn’t read my emails,” he says.

The case ping-ponged between departments. Customer relations escalated it to refunds again. Refunds sent it back to customer relations. No one seemed willing or able to address the fundamental issue: A paying passenger had been denied the seat he’d purchased.

By early July, Bailey had escalated his complaint to American’s top executives. And that’s when he received a flat denial.

“There will be no refund,” a representative wrote in an email.

Are children over two years old legally required to have their own seat during flight?

Federal Aviation Administration regulations are crystal clear on this point: Children 2 or older are required to have their own seat. It’s not a suggestion or just airline policy – it’s federal law.

The regulation exists for safety reasons. FAA regulations dictate that children over the age of two must occupy their own seat during takeoff and landing, when aircraft are most vulnerable to sudden movements or emergency situations.

Airlines universally acknowledge this requirement. American’s own website says that children two and older must have their own ticket and occupy their own seat. The safety reasoning is straightforward: Adult arms simply aren’t capable of securely restraining a child during turbulence, emergency braking, or other sudden aircraft movements.

When the crew pressured the father to have his grandson sit on his lap for four hours, American Airlines was violating federal safety regulations. The flight attendant who authorized this arrangement was either unaware of the FAA requirements or chose to ignore them. (Here is our best guide to booking an airline ticket.)

The safety implications extend beyond just takeoff and landing. During the flight, the seatbelt sign was likely illuminated multiple times, requiring all passengers to be properly restrained in their own seats. A child sitting on an adult’s lap can’t be properly secured, creating a dangerous situation for both the child and the adult.

This regulatory violation adds legal weight to Bailey’s refund demand. He didn’t just pay for a seat that was taken away – he paid for federally mandated safety compliance that the airline failed to provide.

The situation becomes even more problematic when considering that Bailey’s grandson was displaced not for operational reasons, but to accommodate another passenger’s seating preference. This suggests the flight attendant prioritized customer comfort over federal safety regulations.

Airlines face strict penalties for violating FAA regulations, and this case could have resulted in significant fines.

What are airlines required to do when they need to reassign seats after passengers have boarded?

Airlines have broad discretion to reassign seats, but this power comes with important limitations – especially when it involves passengers who have already boarded and are seated.

The Department of Transportation’s regulations don’t specifically address post-boarding seat changes, but they do establish that airlines must provide the transportation for which passengers have paid. When Bailey purchased a seat for his grandson, he was buying specific transportation: a seat on Flight 479 from Boston to Dallas.

American’s own policies, like those of most major carriers, state that seat assignments aren’t guaranteed and can be changed for operational reasons. These might include aircraft swaps, weight and balance issues, or safety concerns. But what happened to Bailey’s grandson appears to fall outside these standard operational needs.

The triggering event wasn’t an operational necessity. It was passenger preference. Another traveler simply didn’t want to sit in her assigned back-row seat. This type of accommodation, while not uncommon, should never come at the expense of a passenger who has paid for and is already occupying their assigned seat.

Airlines typically handle seat preference requests before boarding, at the gate, or through their mobile apps. Once passengers are seated, changing assignments becomes more complex and potentially problematic, especially when it involves displacing a paying customer or a 2-year-old child.

The fact that the displaced passenger was a toddler adds another layer of concern. Riggs was two years old and should have been in his own seat, for safety reasons. The crew was playing fast and loose with federal laws.

Bailey’s case also highlights a troubling trend: airlines shifting costs and inconvenience to passengers rather than finding solutions that don’t disadvantage paying customers. The airline could have offered the dissatisfied passenger an upgrade, a future flight credit, or other compensation rather than displacing a child from his paid seat.

How should passengers escalate complaints when standard customer service fails to resolve legitimate grievances?

Bailey’s experience is a roadmap for persistent advocacy, though it shouldn’t have taken months of effort to resolve such a clear-cut case.

He began documenting everything in writing and demanding specific responses and specific facts from the airline. His emails became more precise as he escalated, citing ticket numbers, flight details, and the exact sequence of events. As you’ll see in a moment, this documentation was key to resolving this case.

Bailey made some progress when he asked American’s executive team for help. Airlines maintain executive customer relations teams specifically for cases that can’t be resolved through normal channels. These teams have broader authority and often take a more big-picture view of customer complaints. 

And at least he got an answer from American: No.

He wasn’t out of options. A complaint to the Department of Transportation carries real weight with airlines, since DOT complaints can trigger regulatory scrutiny and potential enforcement actions.

The DOT complaint process is straightforward and free. The agency uses these complaints to identify patterns of airline misconduct. While DOT doesn’t resolve individual complaints like a court would, airlines take these filings seriously because they can lead to investigations and fines.

Bailey also sought help from consumer advocacy organizations. He used the Elliott Method to gently but firmly pressure American Airlines into doing the right thing.

Throughout the process, Bailey maintained professional communication while being persistently firm about his legitimate claim. He avoided threats and ultimatums, which probably helped maintain credibility with airline representatives.

Will he get his $168 back? 

After months of bureaucratic runaround and executive silence, Bailey’s persistence finally paid off. The breakthrough didn’t come from American’s customer service department, not from the refunds team, and not even from the executives he’d contacted directly.

It came from external pressure.

After Bailey filed a DOT complaint, my advocacy team reached out to American Airlines on his behalf. A few weeks later, he received the email he’d been waiting for: confirmation that a refund had been issued for his grandson’s return flight.

The resolution validates Bailey’s argument: When you pay for a seat and don’t receive it, you deserve a refund. It also suggests American recognized the regulatory problems with forcing a toddler to sit on an adult’s lap throughout a four-hour flight.

But Bailey’s case raises troubling questions about airline customer service. Why did it take external pressure to resolve such a straightforward problem? Why were multiple departments unable to understand basic facts about the case? And why did American’s initial response blame Bailey for a problem the airline created?

I think I know why. Airlines have increasingly shifted customer service burdens to passengers, requiring them to navigate complex bureaucracies to resolve problems that should be handled routinely. Industry consolidation has reduced competitive pressure to maintain high service standards, while passengers have fewer alternatives when service fails. AI has whittled down customer service responses to a series of frustrating form letters.

Fortunately, Bailey’s methodical approach — documenting everything, escalating appropriately, and seeking external help when needed — ultimately succeeded. And for anyone else trying to get a refund, his case offers both hope and a strategic template. Don’t accept inadequate initial responses. Never take the blame for something you didn’t do. And always, always document everything.