My mom’s in a wheelchair. Why can’t I sit with her, American Airlines?

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By Christopher Elliott

Why won’t American Airlines allow Bo Bao to sit with his mother, who uses a wheelchair, on a flight from Dallas to Paris and back? I find the answer to this airline seating problem.


I recently flew from Dallas to Paris on American Airlines. I was traveling with my mother, who uses a wheelchair.

American Airlines usually allows me to sit with her. But on this flight, the airline gave us separate seats. I contacted the airline when we arrived in Paris and asked to be seated next to her. A representative helped me get two seats next to each other.

When I returned to the States, I found an $85 charge for the assigned seat. I didn’t request or authorize, this charge.

American Airlines won’t refund the fee, saying that it costs more for “preferred” seating in economy class. I’ve tried numerous times to get a refund, but the airline refuses. Can you help me? — Bo Bao, Sugar Land, Texas


American Airlines shouldn’t have separated you from your mother. And it definitely shouldn’t have charged you to sit with her on your return trip.

So why did it? In a word: money. American, like most other major carriers, charges for assigned seating. If you want a confirmed seat assignment before your flight, you’ll need to pay for it. (Related: Involuntary downgrade on American Airlines. Can she get her miles back??)

“At the time of your request, all adjacent seating was either reserved for other customers, ‘blocked’ to allow our airport personnel to handle unexpected seating issues that may arise on the day of departure, or they were part of our Main Cabin Extra or Preferred Seats travel options,” an American representative explained in an email to you.

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Maybe. But still, separating you from your mother — who was in a wheelchair — seems cold-hearted. Fortunately, American has a Special Assistance department that you could have contacted before your departure. They could have make arrangements to have you sit next to your mother. (Here’s how to fix your own consumer problem.)

Your airline seating problem isn’t unusual

You shouldn’t have assumed that American would let you sit with your mother. We live in a time when children are separated from their parents, on a plane and off, so it’s important not to take anything for granted.

Interestingly, Congress passed legislation to keep families together on planes, but the Department of Transportation hasn’t created a regulation, which is necessary. So, for now, airlines can still separate families.

You handled this case by the book. You sent a brief, polite email to American, asking for a refund. You appealed to an executive. (I list the names, numbers, and email addresses of the American Airlines executives on my nonprofit consumer advocacy site.) The airline didn’t move.

In this situation, although American is correctly following its policy, it is also doing something morally questionable. The airline didn’t just separate from your mother, but from a parent who needed special care. That’s cruel.

I contacted American Airlines on your behalf. It noted it has “internal processes” in place, both in the days leading up to the departure date as well as at the airport, to assist families in obtaining seating together, even if they didn’t buy preferred seats. American refunded you the $85 fee.

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Christopher Elliott

Christopher Elliott is the founder of Elliott Advocacy, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that empowers consumers to solve their problems and helps those who can't. He's the author of numerous books on consumer advocacy and writes three nationally syndicated columns. He also publishes the Elliott Report, a news site for consumers, and Elliott Confidential, a critically acclaimed newsletter about customer service. If you have a consumer problem you can't solve, contact him directly through his advocacy website. You can also follow him on X, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or sign up for his daily newsletter.

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