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Brave New Mickey
Destinations · June 27, 2003

Walt Disney World's newest character is cute, charming - and controversial.

My Pal Mickey, a 10½-inch doll stuffed with fluff and microchips, is a state-of-the-art interactive tour guide created just for Disney's theme parks. But this little mouse is rumored to do more than talk. Some of the Magic Kingdom's conspiracy-minded critics have accused My Pal of tracking them on their vacation and using the data for nefarious market-research purposes.

How dangerous is this $47 rodent? Only one way to find out: We imposed on our one-year-old son, Aren, to take the toy for a spin around the park. Toddlers are the toughest field-testers we know of, so we counted on our boy to put his pal through the paces.

He didn't disappoint us. Mickey got bounced, thrown, squeezed and pummeled on our Disneyworld tour without so much as flinching. He did, however, tell us which attractions had the shortest lines, what time our next parade started, and occasionally cracked a joke.

Although Aren didn't seem to care much about his own privacy, his parents hit up the masterminds behind the mouse to find out if they'd been reading a little too much George Orwell or Aldous Huxley in their spare time. And we learned to tune out some of the doll's corny one-liners, delivered in that trademark high pitch. You know what we're talking about: That Mickey voice.

Being just one, Aren wasn't all that impressed by what My Pal Mickey represents - that of being part toy, part tour guide. But it's probably worth noting that this is more than another Disney collectible joining the $73 billion-a-year memorabilia universe.

Calling My Pal a plaything would be like saying Mickey is just a mouse.

This interactive product took three years and countless millions of dollars to develop, and it would be no exaggeration to say it's a completely original combination of technology and entertainment for theme park visitors. In order to make Pal Mickey happen, Disney's fabled imagineers rigged the property with a dense network of wireless transmitters and receivers - hundreds of them per park, often spaced only five feet apart. Roger Holzberg, who oversaw the development of the technology, calls it "a location-based interactive experience."

No sooner had Aren passed through the turnstiles at the Magic Kingdom than My Pal started giggling. "Oh boy!" he exclaimed. "It's almost time for the show. We'd better get to the front of the castle if we're gonna see it." Aren looked a little surprised when the doll began talking. But when the mouse vibrated, he flung Mickey as far away from him as he could. The cuddly rodent landed on the curb, bounced, and let out a hearty "ha-ha," as if to say, "That didn't hurt."

Good thing Mickey comes with a plastic clip that attaches to your clothes or belt. This time we didn't take any chances - we affixed my pal to our offspring. But we're dealing with a little boy here, so that didn't do us much good. Aren grabbed the mouse the next time it had something to share with us and tried to toss him again. One of the more attentive adults in our group anticipated the move and caught the doll before he performed an encore face-plant.

Mickey is one unflappable character. He also has an encyclopedic knowledge of the parks: With more than 700 tips - including leads on the best places to see the fireworks and advice on how to get to some of the lesser-known attractions - it would take two hours to run through My Pal's script. That's a lot of information.

When we headed over to the merry-go-round, Mickey became Mr. Trivia. "Say, know which horse on the Golden Carousel is Cinderella's?" he asked. "I'll give you a hint. One of her favorite colors is purple." (There's only one purple horse on the ride.)

Alas, Aren was a little young to appreciate the thoughtful programming behind Pal Mickey. But according to project manager Leslie Hartog, Mickey's got a distinct personality. "He shows a range of emotions," she explained. "He's shy when Minnie is around. He stutters. He gets mad at the villains. He gets brave when there's a scary attraction, and he says, 'If you hold my hand, we'll get through this together.'"

When Mickey isn't a tour guide, he likes to think of himself as a comedian. With an arsenal of 150 jokes - and we do mean arsenal - he bombards you with one-liners long after you leave the confines of the theme-park's wireless infrastructure. They're so corny, they make you cringe. Example: "Why did the 101 Dalmatians stop playing hide-and-seek? Because they kept getting … spotted." All that's missing is the drum beat, thanks very much.

And it really doesn't help that all of the jokes are rendered in that squeaky voice. That wasn't a negative for Aren; back at the hotel, he spent what seemed like hours squeezing more jokes out of Mickey. It left Mom and Dad reaching for the Advil.

But the real parental headache came from the whispers that My Pal Mickey was nothing more than a cleverly-designed tracking device conceived by heartless Disney executives who wanted to keep tabs on our tot.

Is Mickey bugged? It's a question we put to Holzberg, the Disney honcho who brought My Pal Mickey to life. "The technology that's used is not a kind of technology that allows any kind of identification of an individual to happen," he said. "My Pal Mickey collects information, but doesn't send it. I can't transmit anything from him."

So what of the reports? "Creative writing," he insisted.

Holzberg didn't seem to mind the question. After all, Disney thrives on controversy - whether it's a subliminal message in a frame of a cartoon or a hidden Mickey concealed in a tapestry. Controversy sells theme-park tickets and DVDs - and dolls.

Aren, in the meantime, has a new toy that cracks bad jokes but also tells him that he's so happy to have a friend like him. Annoying? Yes. Dangerous? Hardly.

But when our son starts demanding a Disney World vacation, we'll know who to blame.

Mickey Talks

What does My Pal Mickey say at Disney World? Here are a few of his memorable lines:

• "I hear the Alien Encounter is pretty s-s-scary. To see it, you gotta be 44 inches tall. Lucky for me, I'm too short!" - At The ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter
  
  
• "Looks like Emperor Zurg is up to no good again! Why, he's stealin' all the batteries in the universe! Ooooh, why he's just evil! Somebody's gotta stop him! Any volunteers?" - At Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin
  
  
• "Oh Boy! Goofy's Barnstormer! Ya know, me and Goofy have been pals since 1932. But back then we called him Dippy Dawg. Now that's a goofy name!" - At The Barnstormer at Goofy's Wiseacre Farm
  
  
• "Gosh! That was so fast, I thought my ears were gonna fly off! Do they look okay? Still round? Whew!" - At Test Track
  
  
• "Say pal, whenever Goofy and me are at World Showcase, we watch Illuminations show from right here! It starts at nine o'clock tonight!" - At IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth
  
  
• "Guess what, in just a few minutes, some amazing acrobats are gonna put on a show over in Morocco. Wanna go see?" - At Epcot's Morocco
  
  
• "Ya know there are a lot more animals here in Africa. Just turn right and head for the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail." - At Pangani Forest Exploration Trail
  
  
• "The animals with white stripes are called Okapi. They look like zebras but are actually related to the giraffe. Their tongues are so long they could clean their ears with them. Yuk!" - In the Animal Kingdom
  
  
• "A long time ago, on a dark, stormy night, they say five hotel guests disappeared sorta mysteriously while ridin' the elevator here…that won't happen to us, right? 'Cause we're not going' on the elevator. Are we, pal?" - At the entrance to The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
  
  
• "Oh … next time let's take the stairs, okay, pal?" - At exit of The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
  
  
• "Gosh, pal. I think we may have broken the law on that ride…the law of gravity! Can you check my ears? I think I got bugs in 'em!" - At exit of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith

.Christopher Elliott and Kari Haugeto are travel writers based in Key Largo, Fla.