Maybe it was the word “extreme” that made the Transportation Security Administration Security agent at Los Angeles International Airport nervous.
Crest with Scope Extreme. I had bought a little tube of it at the grocery store before boarding my red-eye flight to Orlando yesterday evening. Good stuff.
Contraband, according to the TSA.
“I’m sorry sir,” said the boyish security officer guy while his supervisor looked over his shoulder. “That tube isn’t regulation size.”
“It’s the smallest one I could find,” I replied.
The young TSA agent’s eyes darted toward his supervisor, who slowly shook his head. The tube had to go.
I complied. As the TSA agent walked me through security so that I could brush my teeth one last time and then trash the $3 tube, I asked him:
Don’t you think this is a little absurd? I mean, it’s toothpaste. I’m going to brush my teeth with it.
New Guy said he agreed.
I disappeared into the restroom, cleaned my teeth, tossed the tube, and passed through security without incident. The supervisor was waiting for me at the end of the conveyor belt.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” he offered. He sounded like he meant it.
“Me too.”
Then I added, “Doesn’t it seem kind of counterproductive that I can’t go through security with a tube of toothpaste?”
His face tightened. “You have no idea what this tube of toothpaste could do to a plane. If you knew the things we knew, you wouldn’t question it.”
“If you told me what you knew, maybe I wouldn’t.”
“We have told you as much as we can. It’s online.”
I didn’t want to provoke an argument. “I’ve seen what’s online,” I said calmly. “I’m not sure how convincing it is.”
The supervisor said me he’d been in the Army more than 20 years. As if somehow that settled the argument.
I zipped my bag, smiled, and thanked him.
The supervisor didn’t make these asinine rules about liquids and gels. He’s just doing what some Washington bureaucrat ordered him to do.
Would my tube of Crest blow up flight 1472 from Los Angeles to Orlando? Of course not.
Common sense went out the door when the TSA started banning liquids and gels. When the agency decided to allow some liquids, but not others, it became something of a laughingstock.
It still is.
The sooner the government can install scanners that detect “dangerous” explosives like my toothpaste, the sooner we’ll restore reason to the security screening process.
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Security theater, need I say more?
Well… what WAS the size of that little tube of toothpaste? Not that I’m agreeing with the TSA, but I DO find myself checking their website before my trips to see what the latest regulations are.
Despite your frustration, sounds like you did well in taking it in stride.
Maybe that toothpaste is just so extreme that they can’t risk you brushing your teeth during the flight, because you might lose control of your jaws and start biting people. Did you ever think of that? Probably not, but the TSA did and you should be thankful.
I have braces at the moment, which means I have to brush often, and toothpaste has been one of the biggest hassles of travel. I can find 1 ounce tubes of some Tom’s of Maine brands. Of course, they cost a small fortune and one tube won’t last for a week-long trip.
“You have no idea what this tube of toothpaste could do to a plane.” Oh, my Lord. All I could see in my mind’s eye was Col. Flagg from “M*A*S*H.” Remember, “I am the wind. No one sees me leave.” Honestly. LOLOLOL.
Kudos to you for taking it in stride, certainly, Chris, and even more kudos for keeping a straight face!! I don’t believe I could have.
If liquids and gels were really dangerous, they should be treated like firearms and everyone trying to board a plane with one should be arrested. The fact that they don’t do that means any terrorist can just keep trying to board the plane with a bottle till they get past, which negates the entire point of banning them.
So crazy! When I flew home recently from St. Lucia, I had a few regulation size toiletries in my purse but I didn’t have them in a ziploc bag. They made me buy a ziploc bag at duty free for a quarter to keep my stuff! I had never seen that before.
He said: “You have no idea what a bit of explosives disguised as a bit of toothpaste can do to a plane.”
Toothpaste can do nothing to a plane. And if it can, we need to get better planes.
He said: “If you knew the things we knew, you wouldn’t question it.” and “I’ve been in the army for 20 years”.
He meant: “I’ve learned to not question orders. I had to do a lot of push-ups before I got it. You will need a lot more delays like this before you learn to stop thinking as well”.
If anyboy can post a clip of how you can do anything to an airplane with toothpaste that you can’t do with a coke (plenty available for just $4 per minican), I’d like to see it. Coke is way more dangerous than toothpaste.
Oh, no… what if everyone got off the plane with minty fresh breath? It could start a riot!
Am I missing something, or is it illegal to put toothpaste in a 3 oz. container? I’m wondering why people are complaining about the expense and inconvenience of finding small tubes when there are alternatives? (I brush my teeth with a bit of mouthwash).
I totally agree that the rules are a bit ridiculous, but they aren’t exactly a shock! What bothers me is that people don’t bother to read the regulations and all these items end up going in the garbage.
@ Victor LOL!!!!!
Then again, you can forego packing it in the first place and simply buy a tube (as big as you want!) at your destination.
Perhaps some enterprising person could set up kiosks to sell that stuff by the baggage carousels. Buy your toiletries, soft drinks, etc., while waiting for your luggage to (not) arrive. Save a trip to the 7-Eleven. I see an opportunity here…
Target has a section, usually near the pharmacy somewhere, of $1 or less toiletries. Toothpaste, shave gel, mouthwash, all in 3oz or less containers. That’s where I get my travel-sized stuff.
Um… why not just stick anything you want in with your checked bags? If they lose it… they bought it, didnt they?
Seriously. I dont understand why the complaining. Its called “Checking your bags”. Check them.
Okay, maybe I’m not thinking straight, but don’t you travel a lot? I would assume if you travel a lot you’d know the rules. Almost every drug store & big box store I’ve been in carries travel sized toothpaste.
But I’m a straight & narrow traveler. I make sure my bag is at least 5 lbs lighter than the rule & that everything in my toiletry bag is only an ounce or two.
Yes, I think the rules are pretty silly, but your discussion could have pulled you into a more thorough screening. I’ve seen people pulled over for a lot less in the security lines. And no one wants additional screening once they’ve had it done once.
1. It’s WAAAY easy to find small tubes of toothpaste. This has been the “law of the land” for years now, so why the shock now?
2. Playing devil’s advocate…what if you brought on board a big tube of some sort of explosives (don’t ask me what, I don’t know that part) and so did your twelve buddies, and you combined them into a giant glob of paste that really COULD hurt something. (This assumes that 3 oz X 300 passengers = 900 oz. is about the limit of paste that can be brought on board that is not enough to wreak havoc.)
I’m all for checking my bags. But I’m not going to pay $15+ to do it, so if checking the first bag isn’t free, I’m carrying everything on.
@ Jasper
Either get better planes or make less dangerous toothpaste….
The TSA is a giant farce on the American flying public. Take off your shoes, remove all toothpaste, and get treated like a criminal to fly on an overcrowded plane with sullen stewardesses.
For most short hauls, it’s more comfortable and convenient to drive.
The TSA is just another nail in the coffin of the airlines.
Here’s something I noticed lately. A few weeks ago I forget to take my ziploc bag of toiletries out of my carry-on when I went through security. It was early, I was tired and I forgot… and then I remembered and was waiting for the TSA agent at the scanner to pull my bag aside and give me a “gentle” talking to while I look like an idiot, frustrating the rest of the passengers behind.
BUT, it didn’t happen. No one said anything, because no one noticed.
A couple of weeks later, same scenario. I forget and they don’t notice.
I could turn this into a game and see how many flights at how many airports will it take before someone actually realizes it, but I haven’t decided yet.
I’m not a frequent flyer, but in the few times I’ve flown this year, I’ve noticed inconsistencies at airports:
Denver will actually GIVE you a bag for your toiletries FOR FREE (I still can’t believe they aren’t charging for it)! But you must take the bag out and give it its own tub. But they will let my 5 year old bring a bottle of water, fully filled through without separating it.
San Antonio will not require you to baggie or separate your toiletries. They don’t care about water either. I honestly don’t think they pay attention to the items in the suitcase, they just push it through for good measure.
Las Vegas however, seems to be hardcore! They not only got on me about a mini water bottle (given out at casinos) for being half filled (which would’ve been less than 3 oz), they also stopped me once for lip gloss. Now, I don’t pack a HUGE container of lip gloss, in fact, its rather petite, but yes, I was called to the side to not touch my bag, watch as some guy pilfers through my things, pulling everything out, to find the lip gloss, check with his supervisor to see if it was ok to bring through, and then have me put everything back.
My impression: the smaller the airport, the more careless they are!
Here’s another thought. Although toothpaste used to be packaged in tubes containing metal, that’s usually not the case any more. Wear loose fitting clothes with big pockets (cargo pants, maybe?) and stick the tube in there. It’s not going to show up on the metal detector, and chances are slim that they’re going to pat you down – just remember to remove all the metal you DO have (coins, keys, etc.).
Boston made my mother throw away a jar of jam she bought as a souvenir. Apparently, jam is actually a dangerous gel. Ridiculous.
Complaining here does no good. Why not complain to your elected representative? True, members of Congress are reluctant to question any “security” measure no matter how absurd, since in doing so they risk being branded “soft on terrorism.” (That’s how the Patriot Act and warrantess wiretapping got rubberstamped with barely a whimper.) But if enough of us let our elected representatives know we have doubts about the value of the TSA’s security theatre, maybe they’ll do something to make it less ridiculous and/or more effective. It’s a long shot, to be sure, but it’s the only legitimate avenue we have.
I got into a fight with a TSA agent in Vegas because they wouldn’t accept my Passport Card….but, thats another story for another day…
I’ve gone through a couple times with misc toiletries scattered in my suitcase (mainly because I really didn’t feel like using a baggie) and they never noticed them,, however, on Monday in Denver I forgot to pull my baggie out, and I got pulled aside and told not to forget it again (and then the TSA agent thanked me for giving her job security haha)
Only five days to the election. I am hopeful that our next president will not govern using fear and our memories of 9/11 as a way of getting what he wants from congress or from the American people. My belief is that rational procedures will be the rule for the airport security process in 2009.
Why were you arguing with the TSA agent when you knew the size rules before you went through security? An experienced traveller like you using an excuse of “it’s the smallest size I could find” just doesn’t fly – literally.
@Miles: I had the great fortune of flying from Boston to Omaha today. The pre-board guy took nearly a minute to look over my license and match it to my boarding pass. When I got to the actual x-ray machine, TSA kept throwing stuff in front of me to be re-scanned, and bags kept being pushed backward out of the conveyor belt and knocking the bins off the belt that were ready to go in. In all the excitement of trying to keep shuffling forward and keeping my stuff from being knocked to the floor, I forgot to pull my 3-1-1 bag out of my carry-on. I went through, reclaimed my shoes and bag, and NO ONE said a word about my little 3-1-1 bag, which was sitting at the very top of my carry-on, ready to be pulled out for TSA. You would think that since Boston screwed up so royally 7 years ago that someone would have reamed me out, but no . . .
Chris – the rules are the rules. Follow them. Or, instead, contribute to changing them so we get security and not mindless rules to protect against the last threat. The problem is that no Presidential candidate with any chance of winning would do anything different. So, until we get a candidate who believes in your right to carry large toothpaste tubes in your carryon, my advice: Check luggage.
well said Continuum
Hey, I didn’t have to get past my freshman year in high school in Los Angeles before learning that you can cut open a soda can and make a simple shiv out of it!
But wait… soda cans aren’t on the prohibited list. Neither are hard plastic or glass bottles! Oh look! You can buy those all in the secured area!
But my favorite quote from a press conference on the TSA.gov site:
QUESTION: Could a whole bunch of people take liquid explosives in three ounces and then mix them together in something larger on the plane?
ASSISTANT SECRETARY HAWLEY: We’ve analyzed a lot of scenarios, including that one, and for a variety of technical reasons that we don’t want to go into, that does not particularly trouble us.
Translation: It is very possible but we frankly have no freaking clue how to prevent it (especially if they include baby formula-carrying women wearing liquid-filled bra inserts), so we aren’t even going to try.
Morons.