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Last Trip Syndrome

April 19, 2007

Did your last flight, hotel stay or cruise go so badly that you swore to yourself, “That’s my last trip”? If you did, you’re suffering from something I call Last Trip Syndrome — and you aren’t alone.

Last Trip Syndrome (LTS) is a condition I identified last night while thinking up a way to promote this month’s fundraiser. It struck me that after suffering terrible lapses in customer service while they were on the road, a lot of travelers were just staying home.

But don’t get mad, I suggested. Get even by supporting this site, which is trying to make the travel industry a better place.

Many readers, thank goodness, accepted my challenge. And many others wrote in to say they suffered from bad cases of LTS.

“My last airline flight was January 2004,” admitted reader Joseph Carlet. “The previous three years I did 40 to 70 segments per year in the U.S. I haven’t been on a plane since. Don’t miss it.”

Ron Di Costanzo spontaneously canceled a recent trip because he “couldn’t face the lines at LAX, the packed plane, the non-service, the change of planes on the return flight — in other words, the crap that now is flying.”

And reader Sheri Cummings joined the LTS support group after “winning” a trip on a travel auction site. The hotel was a major disappointment. “Overall, the customer service was non-existent,” she wrote. “As a part of our bid we were charged a ‘seasonal’ surcharge and in light of what the hotel lacked in services, I find this highly disappointing. On check out I was charged an additional $3 per night ‘resort’ charge that was ridiculous.”

I feel your pain, folks.

I also suffer from LTS. I’m the rare travel writer who doesn’t like to travel — who actually avoids travel whenever possible. I identify with Macon Leary, the introspective guidebook author in Anne Tyler’s depressing novel, “The Accidental Tourist.”

Yes, I’m a poster boy for LTS.

Shouldn’t a travel expert actually travel? Believe me, I’ve gotten that question before, most recently from a high-level editor at a large publication that shall remain nameless.

After being introduced, she said, “Oh, you must travel a lot.”

“Not really,” I said. “I write about travel, but it’s mostly a desk job.”

“How can you write about travel if you don’t travel?”

I wanted to say: “Do your crime reporters have to be former convicts? Do your film critics have to be ex-actors? Do your restaurant critics have to have worked as chefs?”

Alas, I was not so impertinent. Instead, I backtracked politely and told her that yes, I do get on a plane from time to time, but not as much anymore since having kids. I didn’t care to explain the absurdity of her rationale — or what it meant to live with chronic LTS.

There is no treatment for LTS, and no cure. With time, perhaps the condition can wear off into simple travel fatigue. But it’s unlikely to disappear.

Not at a time when to many people in the travel industry, “customer service” are dirty words.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

4 comments

  • Gay Lazarus

    My husband and I fly Airtan Airways every four to six weeks from Ft Lauderdale to Maryland.We were confirmed April 12th on a flight due to depart at 520pm. We arrived at the gate at 400pm and waited for our flight to be posted. We waited and waited and waited and when it was 445pm my husband asked the gate agent when our flight would be departing. She had no answer for us. We checked the board and there was not indication there. We waited patiently with the rest of the passengers and when it was obvious there was going to be a delay we again approached the podium to ask the gate agent.Again no clue when our flight was going to depart or better yet from which gate.I am a travel agent and I am aware that weather is the major cause of most delays. What is the most disturbing is the fact that the we are kept in the dark as to why our flight is being delayed and for how long.Finally at 730pm when my harried husband spoke to the gate agent he was told to write a letter to Joe Leonard the President of Air Tran. Here is the best part. There were about 15 passengers on the plane connecting through Baltimore to Syracuse.The gate agent finally made an announcement that the plan would be arriving at 800pm and those people connecting to Syracuse would miss there plane and would have to wait until the following Wednesday for the next flight.

    We happened to be seated behind two of these passengers.They told the flight attendant their problem and she said there was nothing she could do about it. When the plan arrived in Baltimore they asked the gate agent on duty for his help. He said the Rochester flight had departed and there was nothing he could do about their situation. This is beyond the worst example of customer relations I have personally encountered.One of the passengers has a boyfriend that is the Rochester media and I certainly hope he is writing about it in his column.

    Our return flight to Ft Lauderdale April 15th was almost as eventful. We called Airtran many times prior to leaving and were told our flight which was to depart at 740pm would be delayed one hour.
    I am wondering why do we have to supply Airtran with our phone number if they do not call to advise a delay. We arrived at the gate and were told our flight would be delay another hour. The flight was arriving from Orlando where there were tornado warnings.At least the Baltimore gate agents were kind enough to keep us advise at to the status of the flight.At 830pm the agent announced that suprise-suprise the flight was arriving early and we would be able to board at 830pm for a flight due to depart at 740pm.

    Now we board the flight and my husband places our one suitcase in the overhead compartment and sits down in his seat. I look over at him as he is opening a book and notice blood all over his book-clothes-and hand. He had cut his hand on the overhead.We called the flight attendant and asked for her assistance to get him a band aid as he was bleeding very heavily.She replied that is was against FAA rules to give him first aid and he should go to the rest room and get a towel to cover the wound.This is unthinkable! Thankfully the bleeding stopped.I can not believe the attitude of the Airtran and their employees.What disturbs me most is the fact that we have flown them for three years and could not praise them enough.It seems that their service had fallen behind in the last few months. I have just written to Mr Joe Leonard about our recent experiences and I am anxious to hear his or his secretary’s reply.

    Sorry but I just had to vent.

  • Howard W. Zoufaly

    Sir, the simple way to avoid “last trip-itis” is to always book the next trip before leaving on the last trip.

    I have five pleasure trips booked at this point, including one for next January to warmth.

  • Kathryn Clover

    Every time I fly in and out of MIA, I swear it’s my ‘last trip’. That airport has the trifecta: either it’s the near legendary waiting at customs; the fact that many of the various terminals’ facilities are worse than airport facilities in some third-world countries I’ve visited; or that the airline staff often don’t speak English as a first language and it can be hours to navigate any kind of a flight issue (and believe me, they happen!). I once spent 30 minutes arguing with an AA staff person just to get a supervisor to come out to the customer service desk.

    Sadly, I haven’t made true on my promise to make every trip the last. I travel internationally frequently, and the only direct flights to Latin America are usually out of MIA.

  • Peter DeForest

    I recently had an experience that really put me off United’s international flights, and concerned me so much that I wanted to contact the health department in San Francisco about it.

    6 weeks ago, I flew from SF to Hong Kong on United. I usually try to fly business class when possible on long flights, but the plane was full and I was in coach. OK. I girded my loins for what I knew would be a tough 14 hour flight. And tried my best to find a way to sleep.

    What I was NOT prepared for were the 3rd world aspects of the service. The dirty and torn seats, the lack of personal entertainment systems, the scratchey and almost unintelligible movies that they did show on the screen, and the general age and apparent years of deferred maintenance on what was clearly a 747 with a lot of miles under its wings.

    A couple of hours into the flight, I noticed that the flight attendants were walking around with pitchers of water, offering drinks to everyone. I was glad for this, since for much of the flight, the attendants and anything to drink were extremely scarce. So I accepted a cup. A little while later I stretched my legs and happened to pass the galley, where I saw the attendants filling their pitchers from the onboard water tanks. Yuuuck!
    I also saw them give this water to pregnant women, and even put it into baby bottles for several Moms. Now, I’m sure you’re aware that there have been tests of these tanks on many planes and airlines, and it was generally concluded that due to bacterial contamination in these tanks, this water is not fit to human consumption, much less for pregnant women and babies.
    I could perhaps understand if they had run out of bottled water, but this was only a couple of hours into the flight, and there was no mention of the source of this water, much less giving it to almost everyone on the plane.

    OK, I said to myself, the heck with it, keep your mouth shut and stick with soda or juice the rest of the flight. Then a few hours later my meal was served. The attendant handed me a meal tray where the fruit plate had about a quarter inch worth of black mold growing on much of the fruit. She didn’t even notice it
    when she gave it to me. A little while later I handed it back to her, totally nauseated, and asked her if she would accept a food tray that looked like that. And this level of decay doesn’t happen in a few hours; this stuff had to have been sitting around for quite a long time. I’ve never seen anything like it, on any airline, anywhere.

    I understand that United has had financial challenges. But I have travelled a lot internationally, in all classes, and this was just the worst that I have ever seen. This is my “last trip” on United, internationally, in any class.

    And by the way, I have flown business class on United several times in the past year to Asia also, and the lounges have nothing to read, very limited (and poor quality food), and the few that had any computer access had non-functioning computers. And we’re talking about fares in the $7-10K range here!!

    Maybe United’s execs ought to take a look at the product they’re offering from one of their main international hubs to a key Asian hub. And whether they care about driving away loyal business travellers. I’m not a psycho germophobe, but jeez, this was just revolting.

    That’s my story …

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