When I arrived at Gate K9 at O’Hare yesterday, it wasn’t a pretty picture. American Airlines flight 1400, delayed by an hour, looked completely full. A long line stretched from the gate to the McDonald’s across the hall.
Even if they could squeeze one more passenger on the plane, they’d probably charge me. The agent would have been well within her rights to do that, since I had a reservation on the next flight to Orlando, which left two hours later.
Then I remembered that a little niceness can take you a long way.
I smiled. I asked if it was a full flight.
“Completely,” the agent exhaled.
“How about the standby list?”
“Twenty four people,” she replied. “You’re not Executive Platinum, are you?”
“No,” I sighed. “Just haven’t seen my kids all weekend, and was hoping to get home a little early.”
She gave me a “there’s-no-hope” look. Which is when I decided to try a little humor.
“I’ll take the jumpseat,” I offered. “I’ll sit in the toilet. I’ll stand.”
“I’ll add you to the list,” she said. “But it doesn’t look good.”
I returned to the waiting area, more or less resigned to take my original flight.
But then I remembered: Gate agents have a lot of control over waiting lists. And, although passengers often forget it, airline employees are people too. So a personal connection with a gate agent — even a shared laugh — can make a difference.
And guess what? It did.
After general boarding ended, I watched the standby list scroll by on the monitors.
ELLI/C was number one on the screen. In other words, if there was a free seat on the plane, I would get it. And I did.
No change fee, either.
Some of you might be thinking to yourself: “She probably recognized him.” I don’t think so. These gate agents deal with thousands of people a day, and they don’t have to time to remember what a rogue travel writer looks like.
So here I am, at cruising altitude, thinking about how this could have possibly gone my way. My only explanation is that I was nice.
I didn’t demand a seat on the plane. Didn’t beg. Didn’t threaten. I just asked nicely, and I made it clear that I understood that I was entitled to nothing.
At a time like this, when terminals are full and tempers are frayed, a little nice can take you a long way.
Try it. You might be surprised.
(Photo credit: Mary-Lynn/Flickr)
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! Being polite and considerate! What a novel concept!
Nice does go a long way. Glad you got on the earlier flight! :)
Dis someone else not get home because you got to go early?
@Chris
I’m happy that you were able to get accomodated. However, to be honest, I’m not at all happy about what the gate agent did.
Let me state first that I am all for employees bending the rules to benefit the customers. I think that is a good thing. However, I don’t think that they should bend the rules to the detriment of the other passengers. By you getting that seat, that meant that one of the other 24 people on the standby list didn’t get it.
I’m also not one of those whinny Flyertalk types who talks about kissing your “best customers’ ” collective asses. That annoys the snot out of me. But, standby priority is a published benefit of the AA program. Its one of the reasons that I fly AA exclusively. The members of the program, at each tier, paid for that benefits in terms of time and money, and its simply unfair for the gate agent not to honor AAs reciprocal committments.
Now, was it wrong for you to ask for special treatment? NO. not at all. You don’t owe those other passengers anything. The fault lies 100% with the gate agent as a representaiveof AA.
@PB good question. I was the last passenger on the plane, but there were two deadheading crewmembers behind me. It’s difficult to say who else didn’t make the flight. I told the gate agent that I understood I was a low priority, and thanked her for any consideration.
Chris,
I agree with you. In fact, I advice everyone I know to be nice when stuff all goes wrong.
I was flying Continental once when Newark happened (cancellations stretching over multiple days when thousands of people being rerouted). I was flying on a Business Class FF ticket and so I lost my Business Class seat when my connecting flight the night before was delayed. Eventhough they had room, I hadn’t made the request 48 hours before so I was going to ride in coach (insert silly airline rule joke here). Anyway, everyone was screaming at the gate agent and had been for hours. I walked up smiled and was nice. Next thing you know, I’m moving on up.
I always pays to take a deep breath and be nice. It will almost always get you further than yelling when everyone else is too.
Chris, you also would be amazed at the information that comes up on the screen for passengers in the way of notes. I imagine you may indeed be tagged and this woman (or man) felt it might be better to get you on.
I had a similar experience with Air France (NYC to Paris). I was flying with my girlfriend who had a business class ticket. I was in coach. In the past, when we had had the same seating situation, we always asked I could be upgraded to business class so we could sit together, and the answer was always yes (this was in the late 1990s, and this has only happened going to Europe – coming back, the answer was always no – no problem, I just sat in my coach seat). This time, the agent said the flight was full, so I just checked in for my coach seat. We went into the first/business class lounge to wait for the flight, and when I was in the restroom, I saw three of the women from the check-in counter, including the one I had spoken to. We made small talk for a minute, and then I went back out to wait. When we went back to the gate, I got in the line again to make sure my frequent flyer number had been associated with my ticket. When I got to the front of the line, before I could say anything, the woman I had spoken to before said, “step over there and wait,” so I did. She came over, handed me a business class ticket, and said, “coach is full, so you can fly in business class – don’t tell anyone.” Like Chris, I felt very fortunate, and I was pleasantly surprised when I was allowed to travel in business class.
@John F, I highly doubt it. I didn’t offer my ff number for this itinerary and someone else made the reservation. But it’s not entirely impossible.
mileage junkies like myself would consider what you did a capital offense Not giving your FF number to earn miles. Also coming into play on the standby list order is what type of ticket you had full fare or bargain You don’t give that info
My reaction too in this case is: Who was trying to get home after not seeing his or her kids for a month, or who was trying to get to a sick relative in time or a job interview after having missed a connection.
Yeah, but the 24 people in front of him could’ve been 6 families of 4–and there was only one seat. I’ve made it onto planes for that reason–there was an odd number of seats, so as a single, I made it on.
We could analyze the scenario all day and never truly understand the motivation for the gate agent’s generous gesture or know for certain if another “more deserving” passenger missed out on a seat, but I think the simple message of this post is worthwhile– just be nice! Speaking from experience when faced with losing out on a seat or spending several more hours in the airport, its easy to lose all perspective and be less than congenial with gate agents who are only doing their job. Kudos to you for your good manners and good nature and thank you for the reminder!
Let’s put this into perspective. Whomever Chris “displaced” would have gotten on his seat two hours later. In this world, there are people that “have the power” and gate agents are one of them. But they have a tough job. I don’t have a story like Chris’s, but I try to be nice to them too, and I haven’t been put on the wings instead of a regular seat yet. In fact, I have run into the problem not being solved and thanked them for their efforts – maybe because I’ve read this website for ages and know enough to do that. In fact, I’ve been upgraded to United Plus a couple of times. However, I’m glad Chris made it home a little earlier. If he had displaced a passenger who actually had a reservation on that flight, it would be a different story..but he just replaced another standby one who probably waited two hours.
@Leah
How do you figure that the Gate Agent was doing her job. Unless all 24 people ahead of Chris declined the remaining stand by seat, (e.g. the aforementioned 6 families of 4), she was most certainly not doing her job. For her to be doing her job we have to believe that there was not one single traveler amongst the other 24 people. Basically, she bent the rules, took away a standby seat from someone else to give to Chris.
I know its easy to think of high tiered members (I hate the term elite) as spoiled travelers with on overdeveloped sense of entitlement who got there on the corporate dime. However, many of us are just regular Joes, who pay for our own travel and who made a decision to support one airline so that when there is trouble, e.g. irregular ops, we are taken care of. For example, I will be flying to Vegas shortly. AA no longer has a direct flight from the SF Bay area to Vegas. Southwest and Virgin Air have direct flights. I will take AA, even though its will be more expensive and 3 hours longer. However, I am expecting that if there is any drama, AA will follow its promises to me as a platinum member. If it doesn’t as in this case, basically, I am wasting both hard earned money and time.
I gotta be honest — I have a bit of a problem with this. Having been on my fair share of American Airlines’ standby lists, I know it’s usually full of people who expected to fly on an earlier flight, but for some strange reason — like cancellation of their inbound flight from Cincinnati due to a snowstorm in Timbuktu — are stuck in waiting-list limbo. Because AA flights tend to be so full, once you miss your flight, it can take hours or days to get where you’re going. I love my family too, but I’d hate to think that someone has to miss an expensive sales conference or not make it back to work on time, all so I can get an extra couple hours of face-time with my kids. I can always call ‘em on the phone.
I always check in early, arrive at the airport early, and allow plenty of connection time to ensure that I will make my own flight. And if there’s an earlier departure, I’ll consider asking for a seat — but if there’s a long standby list, I won’t bother. (Even though I’ve got Platinum status and could probably get it.)
Don’t get me wrong — I blame the airlines for this sad state of affairs. Delays are a HUGE problem on AA, and it’s ridiculous that I have to budget 12 hours of time for a pair of three-hour flights. But it is the way it is, and until AA changes things, I’m not going to compound someone else’s misery for my own benefit — I’m just not that important. — Aaron
I think some of the commenters here missing my point, which is that being nice can really make a difference. I’m not saying the other passengers on the standby list didn’t deserve to make this flight.
It’s debatable the gate agent shouldn’t have put you on that waiting list and you eventually got it while the others didn’t. Someone at some point will make a decision that’ll benefit somebody and usually…usually…leave everyone else hanging, but…a decision had to be made given the circumstances anyway.
Don’t know if that gate agent will be held accountable for his or her actions. But that’s something for GA and AA to figure out on their own.
And for a moment there, Chris, I thought you’re the guy in the center of that pic not looking nice. :P
I can’t believe you think you did the right thing. Who’s thinking of who? Are you really proud of this? What about the people you bumped? What about their families? How about the young student trying to fly standby? You got home two hours early. Two hours. Next time wait your turn.
Chris, I hear you about the power of nice. A couple of months ago I was traveling on a FF ticket, originally booked in first. I missed my original flight and my entire ticket was cancelled – due to my own mistake. I was extremely nice to the AA agent at who helped me get my reservation reinstated but who could not get me my first class seats back. When I got to the airport I again nicely asked if I could get back in first class, and each way the agents made it happen. On the way home though I was sitting in my first class seat and listening as those in coach walked past. My thought when the couple that walked past complaining about that “mean” gate agent who “didn’t do something right” so they didn’t get their upgrade was that if they took that attitude and tone with me, I wouldn’t be too concerned with helping them either. The agents are human. They are more likely to go out of their way to help the gentlemen that smiled at them and spoke to them in a pleasant tone than the person that treats them abruptly or worse.
When all other things are equal, a pleasant tone and a smile can be the difference in making that earlier flight (in your case) or getting that upgrade or getting seats together for a family.
As to Chris getting that earlier seat home, I don’t begrude him it – and I have status on AA. Maybe he did keep person # 2 on that list from getting to Orlando early for his business meeting but it could’ve just as likely been that all those people got there early for THEIR flight and didn’t want to wait for the next flight. No one knows their reasoning, all you know is NONE of them had paid for confirmed seats on THAT flight. I still remember the groans in the gate area when I was put at the top of a long standby list – I didn’t have status at the time but I’d been nice enough to allow myself to be bumped from several flights for the past day and a half. Was it wrong of the gate agents to bump me ahead of everyone solely because I’d been nice and helped them out?
Carver – chill – the whole deal was probably 24 people on the UPGRADE standby list . . . hah!
But seriously – the way the system works Carver is that they will not take the time to ask 6 families or 4 or whatever combo of people traveling together to decide if they want one seat – do you have ANY idea how long that would take? Parents standing there wondering, and changing their minds, and asking the kids and so on and so on all through the list of 24 people before they get to the single? Yeah – sure. They’re 8 min away from closing the door and are gonna go through that hassle for ONE Seat? The only issue I see here is if any SINGLE flier higher up on the priority list did not get the seat.
And Chris – stop thinking so much of yourself! Being nice is always nice but I promise you that being nice can make a difference but not as much as you might think and generally only in the opposite way where not being polite hurts you. . . .
Aaron, you are the exception to the rule. 75% of the people I deal with not only think they *are* that important, they think they are more important than all of the other customers.
All you complainers are completely missing the point.
You are making ASSUMPTIONS about that list and who was on it, and what their circumstances were. Trust me, everyone ALWAYS needs to get on the flight. The same people who are complaining here are probably the same people berating gate agents.
You reap what you sow…..sometimes, at least.
This is just another example of how nice guys really can finish first! We’ve always been big believers in the NICE approach. In fact, we wrote the book on it. Whether you’re trying to lower your cable bill by making the customer service rep laugh or land a new account by going the extra inch, in business and in life, it really does pay to be nice.
Nice is always the best policy.
Several years ago I rolled the dice on a tight connection from HNL through LAX and lost, missing the last flight of the night (yeah, yeah, several hard lessons were learned that night). The United agent had no obligation to me at all since I arrived on a competing airline. But she gave me a discount hotel voucher and got me on a morning flight at no additional charge. I’m certain that being polite—and calm—helped my cause as I wasn’t even a Mileage Plus member at the time (I joined immediately after that flight because of her).
One more hint: Although I am an overweight schlub who could stand to lose 100 pounds or so, I try to present myself well when traveling. This does not mean wearing a coat and tie, but a tucked-in button-down shirt will be taken more seriously—and given more respect—than sweatpants and flip-flops every time.
Sorry Joe
On this one you are 100 percent wrong. AA maintain two separate lists. A standby list and an upgrade list. Both lists are processed based on PNRs. The upgrade is irrelevant so I won’t mention it further.
The computer checks the first person on the list and sees how many people share his/her PNR. If the computer can accomodate everyone then the entire group goes gets seats. If not, then the gate agent will usually ask if the group wants to be broken up. An efficient gate agent will do this before boarding begins.
But all of this is a red herring, and I think you missed my point. Assuming that there was a single flyer amongst the 24 people, that person should have gotten the standbye seat.
As far as being nice, Chris is 100 percent righ to on that. You can often get around the rules by being nice. That’s a no-brainer.
@anonymous and Scott
None of us know who is one the list or their circumstances and as such we cannot draw any conclusions about who deserves the seat from a humanist perspective. What we do know is AA has a policy for determining priority that is a publicized benefit of achieving status in the membership program and based upon that criteria Chris would be #25. Seems highly unfair.
True True True (about being nice) — and also keep trying. It was Christmas Eve and I wanted to get off my late night flight to stay in Minneapolis to visit my daughter and grandchild (on my way home to Madison from abroad). I would be vacating a seat (that wasn’t needed), and not taking anyone else’s place the next day. After two refusals, I found a very nice woman who “had the Christmas spirit” as I stated it, and resonated with my wish to stay over in Minneapolis.
2 more examples of how being nice works to one’s advantage, both on American. First, my partner got caught at security trying to catch a flight to Miami, connecting to Madrid, and missed the flight at the start of the Memorial Day weekend. No flights were available for 2 days, with no chance to connect to Madrid via Miami. American booked him on Lufthansa to Spain via Frankfurt, at no charge! They are not even code share partners!
Second example: I showed up late for check in and lost my upgrade. No problem, I still had a nice aisle seat. The gate agent told me a couple from Europe had to split up, and would I be willing to give him my aisle seat and take the wife’s window seat in back. I was happy to do so, and the couple thanked me as we changed seats. Then, a couple with a baby sat in my row, and since there was a middle seat opened, I offered to switch seats with the wife so they could have the middle seat for their baby. After the last passenger was seated, the gate agent came running back to tell me they found one last seat in First Class, and I was given that seat with no upgrades used. It DOES pay to be nice!
Chris,
Nice story…
I am amazed by the comments. Flyers seem to feel that they, as a result of FF miles or status,,, have a god given right, higher than a legal right, to bump other poor slobs who don’t share their status.
This is the result of the Class System the airlines have set up…. whereby they bribe business travelers with FF miles, that should rightly be taxed or go to their employers.
When everybody is on the take….. it becomes legal..
Hope this stirs up discussion.
Chris’s point is that by being nice, you can sometimes help your cause. Obviously, when you’re not very nice, you can definitely hurt your cause. I’m a 1K with United and MVP Gold with Alaska so I am very used to being near the top of the standby list whenever I want to fly an earlier flight.
Regardless of what the rest of us “elite” members think about his actions, wouldn’t you prefer to have “nice” people on the plane instead of grousers and irate flyers – especially sitting in the middle seat next to you, taking both armrests, and complaining the whole time about how they’ll never fly XXX Airlines again?
That being said, I have also been bumped higher on the standby list with American with no status (because Alaska’s doesn’t count at all with American) by being nice, and Executive Platinums who have a problem with that need to take it up with AA. United’s priority is still status first (based on fare type) but I believe the GA is allowed to move delayed/cancelled passengers higher on the list at their option.
Now, that being said, I’m still a fan of “elite” boarding and privileges and will defend it even after I stop flying 140K+ domestic miles per year. From the comments, you can pretty much figure out who the Platinums and high-mileage travelers are.
Every airline treats their frequent flyer program as a money maker, and if you want your money maker to generate more money, make sure that the ones who rack up thousands of miles are happy. That is why they have airline lounges, free drink coupons, upgrades, etc. United made over $600 million last year on their program, which helps when you post billion dollar losses per year. Casual travelers who choose a flight based on the lowest fare and don’t have any particular loyalty to an airline just don’t mean a lot and are usually treated that way. I’m sorry if some of them aren’t experienced enough and need Chris’s help to resolve their issues – this is why he’s here and seems to be very successful at what he does. I did a lot of boneheaded things when I was an inexperienced traveler and I still do some today. It’s what I call my “stupid tax”.
Regardless of what you casual flyers say, the tiered system will always be present and always put casual flyers at a disadvantage. Your recourse is either to join the system or live with it. Southwest even started a business program now, where for more money, you can get a Business Elite fare giving you a special line at LAX, almost automatic “A” level boarding passes, and other bonuses. If it makes you feel any better, every year, most airlines are cheapening the privileges we get anyway.
I’m sure nice pays. Several years ago I was travelling home from Phoenix via Las Vegas on America West. That was the trip I discovered how it feels to be a sardine… but I digress. I arrived at the gate to find a line of boarding people and two irate people yelling at one of the gate agents. From that I surmised that America West had oversold the flight. (Not that anyone who ever flies that airline should be surprised to find that, but that’s a different story.)
I walked up to the counter and asked “Are you looking for volunteers?” She said “Yes” and told me what they were offering. I said “Tell ya what, if you can get me a business-class upgrade, I’ll volunteer.” She got me business class for the Las Vegas to Boston leg. I had a fun 4-hour layover in Las Vegas (where I saw a movie and won $6), and some comfort on the long flight home. She got another seat open on the flight, plus a smile from me. Win!
Carver – I was teasing about the upgrade list! As I said, if there was a single with a higher priority than Chris that person should have received it.
Can you imagine the following – 8 min to departure to clear the list:
AA Gate Agent [AAGA]: Passenger Henry Flabby, party of 4? Sir, we have one seat – do you want it?
Agnus – what do you think? you could get the bags and luggage? and the Car.
I don’t now Henry – we should stay together.
Agnus- I’ll go. ‘
Maybe we should send one of the kids Henry? They can get the car too.
We might get separated – I don’t know.
AAGA: Sir, do you want the seat?
Miss – we’re deciding.
AAGA: Passenger Patel, party of 6 – report to the counter – Sir, we have one seat – do you want it?
i’d like to go Rashid, what do you think Mohammed?
I don’t know, should we split up.
and it goes on and on and on. C’mon Carver – first SINGLE highest on the list gets ONE available seat. Human nature.
Clearly, Chris was well within his rights to schmooze. However, by in essence “jumping the line” he displaced someone else who arrived ahead of him, and in all fairness, may have had just as valid reasons for getting home.
The actions of Chris and those of the gate agent are not something to brag about.
We were traveling with Girl Scouts to Atlanta. Because my husband had to drop me off before going to work, I was at the airport very early for our later flight. While waiting, I discovered our original flight had been cancelled. I collected all the information and when our group arrived, we had already been wait listed for another flight. As a thank you, we gave the airline employee a “swap” – something Girl Scouts use to trade with other Scouts. Believe it or not, all 8 of us got on an earlier flight – and other employees wanted to help us just to get one of our swaps – so it does pay to be nice!
Being nice has always worked for me in these types of situation. And you know what? It takes a lot less effort to be nice than it does to work up an angry rage.
Joe, you’re missing one detail, though….
“After general boarding ended, I watched the standby list scroll by on the monitors.
ELLI/C was number one on the screen. In other words, if there was a free seat on the plane, I would get it. And I did.”
The fact that his name was first on the screen means she bumped him ahead of the other 24 people, regardless of how many people were in their party.
Chris, I’m a big fan of yours, your blog helped give me the resources I needed to get home early when there was a tragedy in my family while I was on vacation. I also appreciate the sentiment of this post – as the saying goes, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But while you were nice to the gate agent, you certainly weren’t being very nice to or considerate of your fellow travelers.
I was a little undecided exactly how I felt about this situation as I read all the comments. I came to two conclusions:
One, it is always better to be nice. Given any other situation, we would not be having a debate over whether Chris was considerate to other passengers or not. Let’s say he was on a wide-open flight and received a comp upgrade. Would anyone really care that his niceness got him a perk? I was once comped an upgrade on a half-full AA flight because I apologized for the rude customer in front of me and told the GA that she certainly had earned her pay that day.
Second, it doesn’t seem that Chris ASKED for anything other than to be added to the standby list. Any actions above that were made solely by the GA. What was Chris supposed to do, ask her if the other 24 people had refused the seat? That’s a little unrealistic. Had Chris requested to be put at the top of the list I would agree that he had been inconsiderate to the other passengers. But lacking any evidence of that I think he is being prosecuted unfairly.
The whole point of this column was to communicate a Golden Rule “treat others as you would have them treat you” message. That being nice and polite can bring unexpected benefits. I would hate to think his message will get lost because he could have used a better example.
James finally posted what I was thinking as I read all of the posts chiding Chris for “jumping” the list. Chris didn’t do anything except behave nicely. The agent chose to move him up.
Courtesy and congeniality unfortunately aren’t common attributes for most who fly today. Courtesy costs nothing and goes a long way to make a bad situation at least nominally acceptable.
I have seen very inconsiderate passengers stow their carry ons in overhead compartments as far as 20 rows ahead of where they are seated. When the person boarding and has nowhere to stow their own carry ons above their seat they often have to stow them BEHIND where they are seated. THIS is a major obstacle when exiting the flight and often delays EVERYONE else. This is an example of complete lack of consideration for one’s fellow passengers.
Courtesy costs nothing. The self righteous entiltlement attitude does no one any good. Period. Many forget thet it isn’t just about them, but we are a group traveling on the same aircraft.
We demand service from the airlines and yet many of us don’t want to pay for it either monetarily or otherwise. We could all make it a little less stressful if we just exhibited some manners and consideration. Unfortunately there are those who disagree and are miserable human beings. THEY should be denied boarding in a perfect world.