What’s your problem? Lost in a government maze, and I’d like a refund, please

Question: I recently applied online for Global Entry, a government program that allows expedited clearance for pre-approved, low-risk travelers when they arrive in the United States.
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Can things get any worse for the TSA?

To say the TSA just had a bad week would be a lot like saying Muammar Gaddafi is dealing with a little opposition in Libya.

And how.

This week’s TSA shenanigans are almost too bad to be true. I take absolutely no pleasure in reporting them, because after all, this agency is supposed to be protecting us when we travel.
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What the heck is going on with the TSA in Orlando?

Maybe there’s something in the water in Orlando, but the Transportation Security Administration just can’t stay out of the news there.

Earlier this week, a TSA officer at Orlando International Airport was arrested on charges of molesting a minor. Turns out he was reportedly a fan of bondage and sadomasochism.

Charles Henry Bennett’s MySpace profile identifies him as “Master Charles or Sir.” The online page shows the 57-year-old airport security guard has “many years experience” as a bondage and sadomasochism master and is looking to meet people, especially “submissive females.” The TSA’s blog said the agency was “deeply saddened and disgusted” by its employees actions. Bennett resigned on Monday.
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Department of Homeland Security to visitors: Are you a terrorist or a Nazi?

As of this month, visitors to the United States who don’t require a visa must fill out a Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA). No one seems to like ESTA, which some have called costly to the US tourism industry and others believe is unnecessary. But has anyone bothered to take the look at the actual questions on the form?

Before I share those with you, I should note the Department of Homeland Security is running this show. I hate to pile on DHS after my little run-in with them over the New Years holiday, but you can’t make this stuff up. (These queries don’t appear to be new, for the most part, but they are being encountered by many international visitors for the first time.)
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Am I in the Terrorist Screening Database?

One of the most disturbing aspects of the whole subpoena unpleasantness over the New Year’s holiday is that the agents who came to my colleague Steve Frischling’s home allegedly threatened to revoke some of his security clearance. I wondered if they might do the same thing to me, perhaps adding my name to the Terrorist Screening Database.

I won’t leave you in suspense: They didn’t.
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