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Why Travelers are Jerks
Power Trip · February 8, 2004

It's about time I let the other shoe drop. I've written a series of stories taking hotels, airlines and car rental companies to task for failing to meet their customer-service obligations to travelers.

But travelers themselves aren't exactly known for their politeness either these days.

A new poll by the nonpartisan opinion organization Public Agenda suggests a lot of travelers leave their manners at home. The research finds that nearly one-third of passengers believe rudeness is a serious problem. More than half of all travel employees say passenger impoliteness is the top source of their on-the-job tension.

How so? Well, nearly half of travel workers say they have personally seen a situation where disrespectful behavior threatened to escalate into physical confrontation, according to the study. Almost 20% say disrespect had led to a situation actually getting physical. We don't know if the problem is getting worse, since this is the first survey of its kind. But my instinct tells me it certainly isn't getting any better.

So how exactly are we jerks? Here's my list:

We can be space hogs. We sprawl all over our seats, consuming valuable armrest room. We fill the overhead bins with our carry-on luggage without leaving some for our fellow passengers. We recline our seats even when they press up against another passenger's knees. In short, we behave as if it's our own private charter flight. That behavior has been the inspiration for devices such as the Knee Defender, which stops a selfish passenger from leaning back all the way by jamming the seat into place. A radical solution? Sure, but what else can you do when people aren't considerate of other passengers?

We abuse our cell phones. We don't have the foggiest idea about when we should keep our mobile phones turned on and when we should power them down. We know little about cell phone etiquette, and if you don't believe me just go to an airport (or any other public place, for that matter). You'll hear ringing cell phones, which are second in annoyance only to screaming babies (don't worry; I'll get to those in a second). You'll hear people blabbing on and on at top volume about the innermost details of their personal lives while everyone else pretends they don't hear them. Then, those same careless chatterers get into their cars and drive away.

We drive like maniacs. Speaking of cars, one of the most inconsiderate things any traveler can do is to think of the traffic laws as a suggestion rather than a rule. Speed limits? Who needs those when you have a radar detector? Stop signs? Get outta here. Add a cell phone, or a map spread out across the passenger seat, and you have all the makings of a serious traffic accident. When it comes to driving, forgetting your manners isn't just infuriating; it can also be fatal.

We don't know when to shut up. It's probably happened to all of us at some point: We board the flight or the train, sit down with a good book, only to find that the guy next to us wants to tell us his life story. I once sat next to an animal photographer on a flight from Frankfurt, Germany, to Orlando, Fla., and he would not stop talking, even though I was wearing an eye patch and had a blanket over my head. We understand that there are nervous fliers who need to talk to someone, but why does it have to be us?

We are often short with employees. We treat hotel clerks, flight attendants and car-rental employees as if they are our personal servants. We issue orders - no, demands - and when they aren't obeyed immediately we insist on speaking with a supervisor. We don't take "no" for an answer. We think we're always right, even when we know we aren't. One of the most common complaints I get from travel industry employees is that they're tired of the abuse and burned out by being harassed by us. They deserve better.

We take our kids where we shouldn't. There are places where young children should never go. A five-star luxury suite is no place for a toddler, for example. A newborn in first-class? Take it from someone who's tried; it's a bad idea. Most of us love kids, but most parents have a difficult time understanding that their children don't belong everywhere adults do. Dragging your offspring into an airport lounge, or to a business lunch, makes you look like irresponsible and inconsiderate parent. Leave the little ones with a sitter.

We scream! Noise is a constant problem when you travel. Exposure to a prolonged racket has been proven to raise your blood pressure, which is the last thing we need when we're on road. But it happens everywhere. Cell-phone users scream into their handsets. Airline passengers scream at gate agents; curbside check-in agents scream at air travelers (although, to be fair, it's so that they can be heard over the traffic noise). While most of the screaming is unintentional, some of it has a purpose, which is to berate, intimidate and browbeat travel employees into seeing things a traveler's way. Now that's rude.

We lie. We fib our way through our trips as if it's Joe Isuzu's very own vacation. Did we take anything out of the minibar? No way, we say between mouthfuls of a Snickers snatched out of the so-called "honor bar." We reserve a vehicle from a car-rental company but have no intention of showing up. We plug our own headsets into the armrest and enjoy an in-flight movie without paying for it. But why not? Doesn't the travel industry lie to us, too? Maybe, but as my mother always said, two wrongs don't make a right.

We make thoughtless comments. Maybe we think that because we're traveling, and we'll never see the people we encounter again, we can forget about our manners. But that's a bad reason to behave like a Neanderthal. Just last week, I interviewed an airline customer-service agent in Miami for whom English was a second language. He told me the story about a time when he denied a passenger a seat on a flight (it was overbooked) and the passenger demanded to talk with a supervisor. When the boss arrived, the passenger exclaimed, "Finally, someone who speaks English!" It was an extremely hurtful thing to say to someone who was doing his best to communicate.

We request a lot more than we deserve. We demand free tickets, upgrades to first class, hotel suites and cabins with balconies when things don't go our way. We don't even bother to wonder what would happen if everyone whose toilet didn't flush or whose flight didn't take off on time asked for the world. We don't even take a moment to find out if we're actually entitled to these favors. As a result, we end up parked at the front desk making outrageous demands - and leaving the overworked, underpaid employees to find a way to say "no" without provoking a fight. Come on.

So, how do you and I make the travel industry more civil? Public Agenda says rudeness, and politeness, are a two-way street. Or, put differently, niceness is contagious. So if we make an effort to be courteous, chances are we'll get the treatment you believe you're entitled to. Just a thought for the next time you travel.

By the way, if I didn't mention your least favorite behavior, please send me an e-mail. I'll be sure to include it in a follow-up column.

Christopher Elliott is a travel commentator based in Key Largo, Fla. All e-mailed questions may be edited, condensed or republished at the site's discretion.

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