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ELLIOTT'S E-MAIL
The Last Honest Travel Newsletter
http://www.elliott.org

March 26, 2001

> Inside

* Fools for FedEx
* Striking Out?
* Server Upgrade
* Stupid Technology
* Card Mill Questions
* Germs Fly Free
* Useless Gadgets
* Do it Yourself?
* Grimes: Ta-Ta, Travel Agents?
* Brancatelli: The Truth About Business Travel
* Kirby: Private Parts

> This Week in Travel

** Fools for FedEx
It was a premature April Fool's joke - an "announcement" last week that Federal Express had introduced a PeoplePak and would soon begin shipping live humans. While the concept was funny, there's a truth behind the faux news story that makes it decidedly depressing. Are we laughing because cargo is often treated better than airline passengers are? Do we think customer service has sunk to such a level that we'd be better off traveling wrapped in plastic? Sadly, the answer to both is "yes." Which is why the early April Fool's joke makes this traveler laugh - and cry. - CE

> By the Way

** Striking Out?
Looks like there are more strikes in store for airline passengers than at a bad spring training game. What do you make of it? What kinds of strategies are you using to prevent yourself from becoming a victim? How do you feel about the strike threats? Who is to blame? E-mail feedback@elliott.org, and please include your full name, city and a good contact phone number.

** Server Upgrade
This week, elliott.org moves to a new, ultrafast server. What does this mean to you? Less time waiting for those stories to show up on your browser. Faster download times for audio commentaries. All in all, a better user experience. However, in the short term, there may be some technical difficulties. Migrating from one server to another has never been easy. So if you can't pull up a story, be patient ... wait a few hours and try again. E-mail me if the problem persists at fixit@elliott.org.

> Our Sponsor

** WeBeenThere.com
Because you've waited a long time for this vacation and you don't need any surprises. Webeenthere.com provides an extensive list of expert travel agents with firsthand information and the personalized service necessary to plan a perfect "no surprises" vacation for every traveler. All of its agents have gone through a rigorous screening process to ensure that their expert knowledge is up-to-date and extensive. Click on http://www.webeenthere.com

> Elliott's Commentary

** Stupid Technology
Ever heard the one about the traveler who kept getting paged by someone named Lucille? The despondent user phoned tech support for help. He wanted to call Lucille and ask her to stop beeping him, but she hadn't left a return number. After a few minutes of back and forth, the technician finally asked: "How does Lucille spell her name?" Read this week's Travel Technologist at http://www.elliott.org/technology/2001/stupid.htm

** Card Mill Questions
For only $495, a reader is being offered a chance to become a homebound travel agent and to save big bucks on his next family cruise vacation. Is that a good deal? Chris Elliott checks out the instant certifications and finds out if they're worth the money. In this week's installment of ChrisCrossings at http://www.elliott.org/ask/2001/crmill.htm

** Germs Fly Free
On a trip from Brussels to New York, my younger brother contracted an exotic and potentially fatal virus. I don't remember the exact nature of his illness, but I recall the reaction from doctors when they diagnosed him: they were flabbergasted. Jeff had caught a rare intestinal ailment of African origin - something not found in Europe, where we lived, or the United States. In the archives at http://www.elliott.org/vault/critic/1998/germs.htm

> Audio Commentaries

** Useless Gadgets
Are you stupid - or is it the technology? There's only one way to get the answer. Find out in this week's Outtakes from the Laptop Traveler at http://www.elliott.org/audio/outtakes/2001/stupid.mp3

** Do it Yourself?
Are "instant" certifications as a travel agent a good idea? Are they worth the money? Listen to more in The Travel Critic at http://www.elliott.org/audio/critic/2001/yourownagent.mp3

> Other Voices

** Ta-Ta, Travel Agents?
Are travel agents obsolete? Is the rapid growth of the online travel industry, which reached a record $1.2 billion in sales this January, putting traditional travel agents out of business? So-called brick-and-mortar agents - the moms and pops in the storefronts down the street - insist publicly that they'll survive because no one can help plan travel as well as they can. But you can hear a tone of defensiveness in their voices, reports SmarterLiving.com's Paul Grimes. Click on http://www.smarterliving.com/columns/paul/Is20010322.1.html

** The Truth About Business Travel
This is the irrefutable truth: The pace of business travel exactly mirrors the state of business. When business is good, business travel booms. When business in general turns down, business travel in specific slows down. Unless you've been stuck at an airport and held incommunicado for a few weeks - which is not a totally unlikely prospect if you're a United or Northwest flyer - you've already figured out that business has turned down, says Biztravel.com's Joe Brancatelli. At http://misc.biztravel.com/content/news_and_views/branc/01/032201branc.htm

** Private Parts
Political buffs - or lovers of a good straight line - may remember that during the Great Unpleasantness a couple years ago President Clinton had a hard time remembering what the meaning of the word "is" is. Now, it seems, online companies are having equal difficulty with the word "never." Ticked.com's David Kirby explains at http://www.ticked.com/kirbyskorner/2000/kkprivac.htm

> Other Sponsors

** Travelsucks.com
If you hate paying too much for airfare, you'll want to subscribe one of Travelsucks.com's travel bargain newsletters. The site now offers 63 different newsletters that list bargain airfare by geographic areas. And while you're there, you won't want to miss the travel nightmares submitted by readers. Click on http://travelsucks.com/travelbargains.html

** RoadNews.com
Subscribe to the Laptop Warrior Digest, a free monthly e-mail discussion list newsletter published by Roadnews.com that shares reader exchanges on today's hot mobile computing issues. Sign up for the newsletter at http://www.roadnews.com/html/Digest/i-lw-signup.htm or check out past topics at http://www.roadnews.com/html/Digest/archive-index.htm

** AirJet Airline News
This issue of Elliott's E-Mail is also underwritten by AirJet Airline News, the largest electronic airline news magazine on the Internet. News updated hourly at http://www.airlinebiz.com/wire/

> Your Opinion Matters

Read something you disagree with? Got a story idea or a gripe? Your opinion can make a difference. E-mail us at editor@elliott.org or call (410) 626-9618 with any comments, feedback or suggestions about anything in this newsletter. Your participation won't just make it a better service, but it could also improve travel.

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