Why do gadgets have to be turned off?

If you’ve ever gotten a dirty look from a fellow passenger for fidgeting with a cellphone during takeoff and landing, been scolded by a flight attendant for turning on your laptop before the pilot said it was OK, or if you’ve left your headset on when you were supposed to take it off, and got caught, then this column’s for you.

Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. It’s just that technology scares people.

Ever since the in-flight entertainment system was linked to last year’s crash of Swissair Flight 111 off Nova Scotia, Canada, people have been acting funny around their back-seat video screens, for instance. As if during the showing of Titanic, the seat, screen and the poor soul sitting in the next row might somehow spontaneously combust, sending the whole aircraft plunging into the Atlantic and inspiring James Cameron to film Titanic II. (Captain to co-pilot: “This is a Boeing 777. It’s uncrashable.”)

I’ll try to refrain from any comments about the high price of in-flight entertainment if for no other reason than that the fears of exploding TVs are generally thought to be baseless. Investigators are focusing on other parts of the MD-11′s wiring at the moment, and fact is, we may never know what happened up there. So if the guy next to you on your next flight begs you to shut your screen off to minimize your chance of dying in a fiery crash, it’s your job to calmly explain that he’s not only all wet but that he’s being a killjoy by not letting you watch the movie.

Flight attendants are the among the most ignorant. They’re despotic, too. They come through the aisle and force us to turn everything off. (“Sir, you’ll have to shut that pacemaker off during landing. What’s that? You won’t? Did you know that interfering with a flight crew is a federal crime?”)

I’ve never actually seen a flight attendant flip the switch on a pacemaker, but one crewmember once ripped my noise-canceling headphones off my ears. If you talk to the manufacturers of these headphones, they’ll swear that the devices couldn’t under any circumstances interfere with any of the plane’s mission-critical navigation systems. My flight attendant didn’t have the benefit of interviewing the same manufacturers that I did, and since I didn’t want to be met by two federal marshals at the gate upon arrival, I complied.

No one really knows which electronics can bring a plane down and which won’t. I’ll probably get dozens of e-mails from readers who claim to know what is and isn’t dangerous. But for every claim, you can find a legitimate counter-claim. What’s disturbing is how the truly dangerous electronics are apparently getting overlooked.

The other day I talked with a peripheral manufacturer who sells power adapters to business travelers. These adapters plug into old outlets that were once used for cigarette lighters. Under the right circumstances, he told me, the adapters could suck 12 volts of power out of the sockets – enough to run a laptop. Heck, any noncertified, gray market car adapter would do the trick. Costs about $16 for the plug. But under the wrong circumstances, I imagine the adapter could trip a circuit, fry a few wires and make Swissair’s 111′s final minutes look like a gentle landing. Never mind those ever-present lithium-ion batteries that spontaneously catch fire and explode.

Where are the flight attendants while the few reckless travelers are fooling with the wiring in their seat or tapping into another volatile battery? They’re probably out tearing the headsets off innocent passengers.

I don’t want to be too hard on flight attendants. I think what their employers are doing is far more dangerous.

Like most frequent travelers, I was delighted to learn about Delta Air Lines’ new business class enhancements, which included an honest-to-goodness power supply for portable computers. But I was reminded of a recent story I read in the trade journal Electronic Design which warned that “surprisingly, in such a highly regulated industry like commercial aviation, the specs for in-seat power have yet to be defined, even after two years of beta testing. Furthermore, it appears that the specs are actually happening after the fact, and that they are being drafted using the installed base of product as ‘justification’ of how things should be in the future.

“Sound engineering, and often common sense, are being put aside in favor of keeping one or two airlines happy,” it concluded.

Could it be that the airlines are acting most irresponsibly – and ignorant – of all? That even as they instruct their employees to confiscate Game Boys, cellular phones and headsets, they’re failing to give their employees any pointers on how to prevent a serious meltdown of the plane’s electrical systems? That even as they’re instilling an irrational fear in our fellow passengers, they’re allowing the amateur electronics hour to happen on every flight, every day?

Let’s hope not.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

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