Can’t we get along?

I’m usually not one to quote Rodney King, but after last week’s story about cellular phones, I’m tempted to start this column by asking, “can’t we all just get along?”

The answer is probably “no.”

Even though I didn’t support an outright ban on portables in public places – instead noting that the key to a peaceful coexistence between technology and the traveler was a little common courtesy – my mailbox got stuffed with passionate, and at times indignant, responses.

“I definitely think rules need to be enacted with regard to usage of cell phones in public – the same as they were with regard to smoking in public,” wrote Mary Peddy, one of the many readers who e-mailed me. “Some people have manners and are considerate of others, and others simply are not and don’t care. They need to be told what is acceptable and what is not.”

Nancy McLaughlin chimed in with a horror story about a recent dining experience.

“We were seated and looking at a menu when I began hearing a loud conversation at a neighboring table,” she remembers. “I glanced over and there were two young men in their twenties sitting there. One had a cell phone glued to his ear, loudly laughing and talking to a friend. This went on and on, until everyone in the area was irritated and looking at them. Neither of the young men noticed or cared.”

Not everyone cast a vote for restricting cell phones.

Frederick Naff pointed out that the people who objected to overhearing cell phone conversations probably wouldn’t object to a conversation between two people on a train.

“If we’re going to keep people from talking to others via cell phone,” he said, “we also need to forbid people from talking in person.”

Reader Mark Marmor agreed that stopping train passengers from chatting on their cells is futile. “There is no way to control this situation. I personally don’t want to hear some guy arguing with his kids about their homework, but then, I don’t want to hear a loud non-cellular discussion going on in either the bus or the subway between two people who have never heard of the concept of voice modulation. This situation is one of general manners and courtesy.”

Marmor believes it’s high time for some courtesy standards that would address cell phone talkers and other rude passengers. The challenge is in defining what kind of behavior is acceptable – and what kind of behavior isn’t.

To others, the question of whether to limit cell phones in public places is irrelevant. If it were such a problem, notes Valerie Brady Rongey, then something would have been done about it already.

“If people are truly bothered by these developments, then changes will be made to cushion the blow, such as separate compartments for business people and people seeking peace and quiet,” she says.

People tended to be less tolerant of chatty motorists.

Roy Henock wrote to say he wants portables out of cars. “They should definitely be banned from use by anyone who is driving a car, unless the driver has both hands on the steering wheel,” he said.

“Using the phone while driving is extremely distracting,” adds reader Zouras Aspasia. “I’ve seen many almost-accidents because of distracted cell phone drivers.”

Some readers wanted to find common ground between the talkers and the non-talkers.

P. Tanzy Maxfield wants to set up a “cell phone” lane for drivers who insist on carrying on a conversation. “Of course there would be a physical abutment between this lane and the others so no cross-over worries,” Maxfield added.

The “cars and cell phones” topic also drew its fair share of war stories.

“As a participant in the great Southern California freeway system, I’ve seen plenty of idiot drivers, and 8 times out of 10, I’m correct when I speculate that the idiot must have one of those little antennae sticking out of his or her ear,” Roslynn L. Pryor wrote. “I think the worst case I’ve observed was a woman talking on her cell phone, smoking a cigarette, and driving a stick shift all at the same time. How is this possible for anyone less than an octopus?”

Jeremy Eagleman observed that even a ban on cell phones while driving would be problematic.

“Problem is, if you ban the use of cell phones, then we should also include putting on makeup, reading a book, arguing with your children in the back seat or even drinking a cup of coffee,” he noted. “I’ve seen all of these occur on my daily commute and have probably been guilty of a couple myself. They are all a safety concern. I think education of the dangers of doing all these types of things while driving an automobile is more effective than simply banning one or any of them.”

Eagleman wasn’t alone in his opinion. “Why on earth would anyone try to ban cell phones?” Gerald Bose asked. “What’s next? Holding conversations with others while driving?”

I agree that the cell phone restrictions could get taken to an extreme and am grateful to readers such as Bose who warn of excessive legislation.

Based on the reactions the previous column got, I think it’s safe to draw a couple of conclusions. First, this issue is important to a lot of travelers. Many of us can’t live without our communication devices, and taking them away during a trip is too simplistic a solution. Second, this is a relatively new technology, and users are still unsure about how to behave around it.

People don’t pass a funeral procession even though there are no laws against it. That’s just considered to be good manners. In the same way, I think our electronic etiquette needs to evolve until people know better than to carry on a loud conversation on a portable, or to drive and talk simultaneously.

In a few years I think – I hope – this won’t be a problem.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

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