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Gifts from the above: 7 presents we wish the airlines would give us

December 20, 2009


This was supposed to be a feel-good column for the holidays, where I asked readers what kind of presents they wanted from the travel industry, and all of the resulting good tidings left us warm and fuzzy.

And then I talked with you.

And here’s what you told me: First, your holiday list begins and ends with the airlines; and second, you do not feel warm and fuzzy. Not at all.


“I wish they’d stop treating us like idiots,” says Marian Marbury, who runs a Baltimore-based tour company.

I’ll get to what’s vexing Marbury in a minute. But let’s just say for now that you’re not happy with the airline industry, and you don’t think making a wish will make you any happier.

I respect that. I think the airlines know it, too.

The airline industry is a popular target. The University of Michigan’s authoritative American Customer Satisfaction Index gives the overall industry a failing grade of 64. In the interests of fairness, I should note that the same survey gave news organizations a cumulative grade of 63, so in a roundabout way, consumers like airlines slightly more than they do snarky columnists like me.

Ouch.

Who is better qualified to write this column than me, then? I understand what it’s like to be the object of ridicule. If your holiday wish has a chance of being granted, I’m the guy to tell you. I’ll give it to you straight.

Take Marbury’s gripe. “My long-term love affair with Southwest was seriously damaged by their announcement of Early Bird Check In for an extra $10, ‘for our convenience’,” she told me. (You can read details here). “Oh Southwest, we’re not dumb. We know you need to make more money and we know you’re still one of the only airlines to not charge a baggage fee. But what’s next? Now that you’ve started down that slippery slope of tacking on fees for things I didn’t have to pay for before, can I still trust you? Why couldn’t you just be honest and treat me like an adult and tell me you need more money. I’m hurt.”

I wish they’d eliminate fees for the first checked bag
“I would ask that they would take away the extra charges for luggage,” says Canadian videographer Joe Vass. Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice? Ever since American Airlines became the first major carrier to begin charging for the first checked bag last year, all of the other legacy airlines have jumped on the fee bandwagon. They’ve made tens of millions of dollars from us. Interestingly, the airlines cited high fuel prices as the reason for adding these fees, but even when their costs fell, these fees stayed in place. Oh, well.

I wish they’d let families on board first
“Why can’t the airline industry reinforce or reinstate pre-boarding for families with young children?” asks Corinne McDermott, who writes a blog about traveling with kids (havebabywilltravel.com). “It truly makes life easier for the parents and the other passengers, as it’s easier to board once everyone’s settled.”

Well, that may be, but there’s another reason why elite-level business travelers, first-class passengers, dignitaries and other members of the “me-first” class must be boarded before the littlest passengers: They’re more profitable. Not to be mean, but babies don’t make the airlines much money.

I wish they’d give us more room
“Wouldn’t it be nice if they recognized the growing size of the American general public and helped super-sized ladies and gentlemen enjoy travel?” asks Peggy Richardson Hebert, who works for a law firm in Nashville, Tenn. Yes, it would be. But unfortunately, the trend is going in the opposite direction, as airlines try to squeeze more seats on planes. Prediction: In a few more years, people of size will no longer be welcome on an airline without paying a hefty surcharge.

I wish they would ease up on the change fees
“Why don’t they have a more flexible cancellation or change policy, along the lines of Southwest Airlines?” asks Lynn Cuda, a retired nurse from Jacksonville. (Southwest’s change rules are relatively simple when compared with other airlines). Why not? Because airlines make millions of dollars from change fees. Cuda tried to change her American Airlines itinerary and was told it would be a “nominal” $150 fee. Since when is $150 nominal?

I wish they’d charge us one price for everything
“Stop nickel and diming us,” says Teri Hurley, a travel agent from Georgetown, Tex. Indeed, airlines have “unbundled” their fares, stripping away everything from soft drinks to the ability to check luggage from their fares, in an effort to make more money. That’s confused a lot of air travelers and left them feeling betrayed and angry.

Of course, the technology exists to quote an airfare that includes everything we want — allowing us to opt out of things we’d prefer not to have, like checked luggage or the ability to make a confirmed reservation. But airlines won’t do that either, because our confusion is … well, profitable.

I wish they’d be nicer to those of us in the back of the plane
“Pay attention to your economy passengers,” says Janice Dottin, who works for an insurance company in Boston. “Business travelers who can upgrade to first class log so many miles that their loyalty is important, but they are a tiny percentage of your customers. Your plane wouldn’t generate enough revenue to keep running without all those coach ticket sales.” Ah, if only that were true. Unfortunately, more than half an airline’s revenue comes from business travelers, so they actually can treat the rest of us like second-class citizens (which, technically, we are) and get away with it. Is it wrong? Of course. But it’s right for their businesses.

We’ve faced new fees and security hassles, survived health scares and high fuel prices and connected to the rest of the world through amazing innovations in online technology. The past decade may have changed the way we travel, but nothing could stop us from going.
Like I said, I don’t want to ruin the holiday mood here, but it’s kinda already ruined. In a way, most of us would happily give up any of these wishes to be treated with just a little decency when we fly.

“Most people just want to be treated fairly and with respect,” says Cindy Plume, who works for a machine tool repair company in Defiance, Mo. “If only airlines would find a way to respond to their customers that would show the customer that they are not only being heard but they are also being shown respect. Seems almost too simple.”

Yes, it does.

Respecting the customer isn’t just free, but it can make up for a lot of the other terrible things that are happening in today’s airline industry.

I can’t think of a more appropriate holiday gift.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

13 comments

  • http://nodebtworldtravel.com brian

    Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I believe JetBlue and Southwest are the only two US domestic airlines that don’t charge for the first checked bag now.

  • Anna

    *I wish they’d eliminate fees for the first checked bag
    Do people not realise the bag fee would just become part of the “total” price if the airlines “removed” it?

    *I wish they’d let families on board first
    Eh… there are two options:
    a) wait – board – sit down
    b) board – sit down – wait
    Personally I have no preference over one or the other.

    *I wish they’d give us more room
    Some do. Budget airlines don’t. As for the “people of size” issue, it seems completely reasonable to me that you pay for the number of seats you occupy.

    *I wish they would ease up on the change fees
    If you find yourself spending a whole lot of $$$ changing you tickets – maybe you should not be buying tickets with a $$$ change fee!?

    *I wish they’d charge us one price for everything
    Agreed. European search engines operate with total prices. It’s the law! And it works really well. If I’m going anywhere in Europe I always use the search engines to get an overview.

    *I wish they’d be nicer to those of us in the back of the plane
    Maybe this is an Europe vs US thing, maybe I just don’t notice… but honestly, I’ve never had a flight attendant be rude to me?! And if a business class passenger has paid 10 times more than me for the same trip, I find it entirely reasonable that he/she receives a service 10 times better than me.

  • KF

    I wish airlines would get better about policing carry-ons. My last couple of flights I’ve boarded in the higher As for Southwest or Zone 4 for United and had trouble finding room for my one, legally sized carry on because gate agents let people people carry on large or more than the legally allowed two bags (and some people don’t know how to orient their rollerboards).

    As for the ‘people of size’ issue, the solution is not just with the airlines, passengers need to take some responsibility too.

  • Carver

    @Anna

    No, people do NOT realize that eliminating the baggage fee just means that it will be rolled into the cost of the ticket. As I have stated, I would much rather the goods and services be unbundled so that I have an opportunity to avoid them, e.g. elite level business traveler, don’t check luggage, etc.

  • Christopher Elliott

    @Anna and @Carver, interesting arguments. But I have a different perspective.

    Airlines didn’t “unbundle” the cost of the first bag; they added a fee to the base fare and told everyone that they unbundled.

    If airlines are a required to offer a first checked bag for free (unlikely) the fare will not change. Why? Because we, the consumers, set the fare we are willing to pay.

    Beware of these seductive airline arguments. If we buy them, we will all pay the price. Quite literally.

  • Scott

    BAG FEES: You guys ALL (almost) keep missing the arguments, including you, Chris. In one breath there are complaints about bag fees, and just above we acknowledge that airlines are still losing money. (While I am happy to talk about airline executive mismanagement….) Airline fares are lower in real dollars than fares from 1980. In what industry has the cost of an item gone DOWN in the last 30 years??? The largest part of that problem is due to transparent internet pricing and cutthroat attempts for carriers to put each other out of business (along with that mismanagement thing) carriers cannot raise prices to cover the actual cost of travel.

    SO….these fees are in lieu of prices going up that should have happened consistently over the last 30 years since deregulation. AND if you happen to have elite status you do not have to pay those fees, and many of the rest of us can avoid a lot of them as well. We can complain all we want about just put all the fees together and charge one price, but when EVIDENCE proves that more people will buy the ticket online that is $5 less….. Folks, it just ain’t gonna happen.

    FAMILIES: Everyone always thinks there should be rules that apply to everyone but them. Just let US board first. It would be easier for everyone. Okay, so define “FAMILY”: Infants only? Small children? Multiple children? People with TEENAGE children complain about not boarding early. Bottom line is….you should be carrying onboard what you cannot handle. Board with your appropriate number/zone/etc and learn to be efficient when doing so. There is no reason to board families first other than coming up with every reason why rules should not apply to you.

  • Andrew

    @Anna and @Scott re: families: It actually benefits everyone to let families with infants on early, because they typically have additional gate check luggage (strollers, car seats, etc.) and usually take a few minutes longer to get seated and settled. When these families board with everyone else, they hold up the process and frustrate dozens of people standing behind them.

    I’ve had to do this a few times with my own children and I refuse to fly with my family unless I’m on an airline where my status lets me board early. It’s too stressful for me, and it’s annoying for the other passengers.

  • Robert

    I have to say that in general, I agree with Anna’s sentiment and Scott’s comments about being personally responsible for what you can reasonably board with.

    As for the issues of fees, we, as consumers, are just easily duped. The airlines with highest baggage fees and worst service (looking at you, United), will slowly die away. Why? Because of natural customer attrition. They will hold it off longer by giving base rates that people jump for myopically, but after they’ve burned millions of people, United (American, USAir, Delta, Continental, AirTran, etc. etc.) will realize that they need to change how they approach the customer experience, pricing, operational costs (look out unions) and make flying better.

    That said, rates will eventually be nearly all unbundled. It works very successfully in places like Australia and Asia, for example, and I would actually prefer this model in the long run. Eventually fees will be more rational (ie, lower) as airlines learn how to price and get people to think about them when pricing a flight.

    But, I think what we’re missing is the poor application of fees. Just like taxes at the govt level, fees will change our behaviors. To that end, if I were to think what hinders an airline and my experience, I would consider the following fees:

    * Oversized carry-on penalty. You try to bring it aboard, and you get fined – maybe it’s more than just checking it.
    * Fees for large child to adult ratio. Infants count as 2 children. This would ideally pay for assistance that the airline will provide your family getting seated.
    * Infants no longer fly free – they get a seat and get strapped in.
    * Obesity penalties. Hard enforcement of seat rules. Don’t offer seat-belt extensions for free (if you’re using one, I guarantee you the guy in 22F is not comfortable next to you even if you “fit” with the arms down).
    * If you approach the gate before your group is called, be sent to the back of the line – last to board. Maybe even cordon areas off while boarding – get people to stand in line. This is the only reason I like Southwest’s model – hate it otherwise.

    Airlines would also do better for service in various areas like:
    * Providing temporary service at the gate to help board people. They currently rely on FAs who are already busy. Just hire a few people to help board planes and get people efficiently seated on all the flights.
    * Board from front and rear doors – I loved this about Virgin Blue.

    Consumers demand all for as little as possible, and at some point, maybe after there are a few more bankruptcies (looking at you American and United), we’ll realize that this is why our experiences on planes are so bad. And they are bad. But it’s not just the airlines trying to screw us over. Let’s call it 50/50.

  • Anna

    @Andrew

    When I travel with my son (2) I prefer to let him run around* in the pre-boarding area for as long as possible to burn off energy. It’s either there or in the air… Of course, if I’m asked to board early, I’ll do as told and hope for a parade of interesting airport vehicles for the kid to watch.

    * In a controlled fashion, not wild monkey style, in a corner somewhere where he doesn’t bother anybody anymore than necessary.

    About the boarding situation – I’m always seated in the back of the aeroplane with the kid, so I’m not holding up that many other passengers. (Especially not if the majority has boarded before me). I arrange my belongings in the pre-boarding area so that boarding basically reduces to 1) put kid down, 2) backpack up, 3) absolute-essentials-bag under seat, and 4) sit. This is my well-rehearsed routine and I stick to it because it also makes flying less stressful for me and the kid.

    Frustrated passengers behind you: Ignore. You are, presumably, doing the very best you can to get everybody seated as fast as possible. Just keep doing that. So what if there’s a mad, mad stomping woman behind you? What is the worst that can happen? She gets madder? She stomps harder? She stops sending you Christmas cards!? At least she’s not risking anyone else beating her to her seat if you’re doing a proper job blocking the aisle ;-) Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

  • Chicky

    To me, the “people of size” argument is a slippery one. What is the determination? BMI? Insurance charts? Someone who takes up more than their own seat? What about “normal” size pax who take up both armrests and the entire overhead bin? Or those who recline their seats into the space I paid for? Or the ones whose laptops, spreadsheets and other paraphernalia, encroach into my space, when I am completely within the confines of my own seat?
    The fact is, no amount of regulation can keep people from being inconsiderate jerks on an airplane, if they are so inclined to be that way. My wish would be for a little more civility all around.

  • David

    @Scott: Uh… There are a lot of things cheaper and better than they were 30 years ago. That’s thanks to technology and efficiency improvements. As things get better, “luxury” items become more affordable and commonplace. Why should we expect any different from the airlines?

    Cars today have A/C, and airbags, and CD players as pretty much standard. 30 years ago, not really. Cell phones? 20 years ago, they were only for the rich and were the size of a brick.

  • Julie

    I want airlines to have clear, consistent policies. My boyfriend missed a flight, called the Alaska Air costumer service line, he was told he’d need to pay $100 change fee AND give up 7,500 extra miles. He declined, went to the airport to try to make the change and was rescheduled with no change fee or miles needed. Do the phone people get perks for getting passengers to pay extra cash?!

    I also had an experience with United where I went to an agent at the airport to try to upgrade (willing to pay for it, I was on my way to a funeral). The agent said, with a straight face, “you have to make those kind of requests in person.” I WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF HER! I was willing to pay $300 for the upgrade and instead of helping me and allowing me to give them money they left the seat empty! Ridiculous.

  • Kim, airline employee

    As an airline employee in the reservations, I have to say that we have our own wish-list for the passengers to consider:

    1. When you call us, BE PREPARED. We are all on a very tight call time limit that the supervisors keep getting on our backs about. Be prepared to give us the confirmation code, not just your name, not the third party’s itinerary number (as that means jack to us).
    2. When calling us, do not carry on with conversations with other people. Once again, we are restricted to how long we can be on the phone for, and we don’t have all day.
    3. Use your head and get away from a noisy room so you can hear us.
    4. Do NOT blame us when a blizzard hits. We cannot control the weather any more than you can. When there’s a blizzard going on outside, we’re not flying for safety reasons, and same with other airlines, which leads to number 5…
    5. When there is a blizzard, other airlines are going through the same exact thing. Understand that we are not flying, nor are they! Thus, do not demand that we re-accommodate you on another carrier. In situations like that, all airlines are required to take care of our own passengers, not anybody else’s.
    6. If the flights are full due to cancellations or delays, guess what!!! You’re going to have to wait until the next available flight, even if it’s *gasp* two days out!!! No matter who you talk to, we are not going to create a plane out of thin air just cart your whiny butt from place to place.
    7. Do not treat us like garbage. We are doing the best we can without breaking company policies. If we get caught, we get fired. Using profanity, telling us that we’re obviously stupid and uneducated and that we have no purpose in life will not get you anywhere. If you don’t like the policies, do not gripe to me, as I can’t do anything about it. I get paid VERY little only to be treated like garbage from you. This is, by far, the worst job ever, and believe me, I’d leave if I could, but I need the health insurance.

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