What's the book corporate America doesn't want you to read? Find out now -- or you could get scammed.

Ban babies on board?

March 29, 1999

Ban babies on board. Stop kids from flying altogether or at least create a special children’s section on planes.

That’s what a growing number of frequent travelers want to do. Passengers like Linda Rolle, an executive administrative associate, parent and grandparent from Denton, Texas.

“I’ve have had some horrible experiences,” she says. “Once, a 2-year-old finished his bottle and heaved it over his head and it landed on my head. Large bump, large headache, no blood. Also, no apology from mommy – only giggles and ‘isn’t he cute’.”

On another flight, a toddler in the seat in front of her “kept standing up and leaning over the seat to see what was going on. I did not mind this until he drooled into my lap,” she remembers.

Children are ubiquitous on flights these days. Nearly one-half of U.S. adults recently polled by the Travel Industry Association of America said they included kids on a trip during the past five years. The most dramatic rise in juvenile passengers came from corporate travelers. In 1997, 24.4 million business trips included a child, compared with 7.4 million business trips a decade earlier. That’s an increase of 230 percent.

Any surprise, then, that the number of complaints about kids is on the rise? Not to Jerry Clavner, a sociology and anthropology professor from Cleveland.

“Traveling on a domestic airline with children on board is like traveling with a Chihuahua with diarrhea,” he says. “Kids are hyperactive and they can’t control themselves. The plane is an unnatural environment, and you’re going to get bizarre behavior. I mean, why would you think children can sit on a flight for more than two hours, when their average attention span is 14 minutes, which is the space between commercials?”

Clavner says airlines and parents are “inflicting pain on people who are in a rush to get somewhere” and it needs to stop. “I have never inflicted my children on anyone else on an airplane,” he adds. “If we cannot get there by car comfortably with a child, why would I want to go anyway?”

D.J. Cotton, a former flight attendant for Pan Am who now lives in Los Gatos, Calif., knows the children won’t go away. But she has a few ideas about how to deal with them. Sedate infants before the flight, for starters.

“The baby sleeps, the flight crew and passengers arrive relaxed,” she says. If that fails, she adds, airlines should offer “optional parachutes for planes with screaming babies.”

Gregory Gulley-Purcell, a marketing coordinator for a specialty insurance company in Bellevue, Wash., suggests a less radical approach. “If the airlines created a separate compartment, akin to the first-class one, it could be used to accommodate families and adults traveling with children,” he says.

“I don’t think all kids are troublemakers, but the fact does remain that they have a lot more energy than should be contained in the over-crowded, constricted airline cabins of today.”

And how about the crewmembers? Adana Adams, who works for a medical research company in Urbana, Ill., and is the mother of three grown children, thinks the problem isn’t the kids or even the parents, but the flight attendants. She says crewmembers don’t enforce the seatbelt rules consistently, letting children run around the cabin to their hearts’ content.

When she complained about one kid’s behavior on a recent flight, she was told her predicament was her “tough luck.” Is it the flight attendants, the kids, the parents or just the stress of sitting in a pressurized cabin? I don’t know who, or what, is to blame.

One thing I’m sure of: I’m not one to talk. I was an enfant terrible back in 1969, when I took my very first flight from New York to Munich at age 1. I screamed, ranted, kicked, whined and fussed. Not unlike what I do today, except louder. I don’t feel like I have the right to criticize a couple of rowdy kids.

Among the most level-headed solutions, I think, is Stevanne Auerbach’s. The director of the Institute For Childhood Resources in San Francisco says it’s up to the adults to fly prepared. “You need appropriate games, puppets and activities to keep kids occupied,” she told me.

Put differently, it’s not a bad idea to pack a sock puppet on your next trip. Who knows, it may shut the kid next to you up.

Note: Five years after this article first appeared, Adams, who works for a hospital in a medical research department, contacted this site to request her name be deleted from the story. She said her quote was inaccurate.

“My complaint was that I had requested a window seat so that my elbow that was in a cast would not be bumped and when I got on the plane, a couple with a toddler had boarded early and taken my window seat and refused to move,” she wrote. “The four hours from San Diego was spent with a wild toddler bumping my broken elbow the entire time and flight attendants who refused to do anything about it.”

This site is happy to correct the record but does not, as a matter of practice, delete sources from articles.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

152 comments

  • Lauren

    I found this blog very interesting.

    Solutions ranged from severe-inert. As someone who worked at Disney, and just returned from a trip as a ‘civilian’, here is some of my input.

    One of the biggest rules we learned is that tourist’s number one thing they leave behind is their mind or common sense. This runs all the way across the board, infants-elderly.

    I asked my mum, who has traveled with me, trans-atlantic flights since I was born. She said, “I didnt take you older brother till he was five and started listening to me. I took you a lot younger because you were shy and very quiet. I didnt have to worry.”

    Whilst I agree that adults need to
    1) Get a grip. Dont be impatient. We all know flying isn’t what it used to be.
    2) Don’t get liquored up before flying. It’s tacky and inappropriate.
    3) Control bad habits. i.e. loud earbuds, computers, bathe etc.

    A flight attendant can tell the adult what to do.

    At Disney, no one ever went up to the parents and told them what to do, unless it was a safety measure. Parents act like parents to everyone. They don’t take advice very well. No one likes being told how to do their job. You will not get a good response. This goes throughout the hospitality industry. It doesnt make it right, it just is.

    If a child is screaming. Take the child to the back of the plane and try to calm the child down. Since you know your child best. If he/she is not a cooperative toddler then don’t fly until he/she is mature enough to do so. Dont put you and the child and other passengers through misery. Not to mention yourself. Realize the pressure thing and teach them how to blow out the ears.

    I found out on my latest flight that the parent was not a great flyer and noticed that subconsciously making the child nervous too. If this is the case, drive down. Dont put yourself and your child in the position of being anxious. Kids also might not like to fly as much as you, so communicate with them. If they dont, dont force children to fly.

    Just like adults should not drink alcohol, dont get your children sugared up with juice or soda. Water or milk should be used. I saw all too well that feeding sugar to a kid late will make them cranky and awake.

    Realize where and when you are traveling. If bad weather takes up a trip, (getting stuck), always have a contingency plan. Business travelers do the same. Know when and how long a kid (depending on age and maturity) can handle a trip.

    Kids don’t need luggage. My mum said, “I took what I could carry and was interactive during the flight”. But mum also got me on the late night trans-atlantic flights. When I go to sleep. Too much luggage is exhausting for child and parent. That goes for carriages too.

    Just a note for Disney travel. Bring kids when they are coherent of their experience. An infant and/or toddler will not remember nor can they participate at that age. Bring them when they can walk/talk/potty by themselves. It’s cute and expensive and will leave them when they are older saying, “I don’t remember that”.

    Also, if they are tired, let them sleep. Dont force any experience on them. Go back another time.

    In the end, the section is not a bad idea. But common sense as my mum says, “rules the day”. :)

  • Jim

    Screaming kids aren’t the worst travelers. The worst people on airplanes are people who a) bring more carry on luggage than I’ve packed for a whole week overseas and b) need help hoisting said luggage into the overhead bin.

  • Bob

    That child paid as much, if not more, than the “whiners”.

    Giving Benedryl to a child? What are you nuts?! That’s child abuse, ask the FA who did something like that and went to jail for it.

    These are adults making these comments? Please, you are the ones that need to grow up.

  • HockeyFan

    I grew up in an era where children: respected their elders, received spankings for misbehavior, and were not allowed to intrude on others -particularly adults. In essence, children knew their place. Not so today. Children are basically out of control, and annoying to all around them. The parents seem to be saying: “Oh well, he’s a child! Isn’t he cute?” The answer is: NO. Not only should children be better disciplined these days, there SHOULD be a separate cabin for families travelling with children under 14. Personally, I think the term “child abuse” has become way too vague these days. There is nothing wrong with a parent giving a child something prescribed, or doctor recommended, to help them relax, and deal with the stresses of flying. Quite frankly, if more parents tried to reduce the negative impact their misbehaving children had on others, there wouldn’t be a need for this article.

  • Keith

    I don’t complain about crying children. In fact, I often give the parents advice, having flown with my (non-crying) kids many times. I carry Haribo gummy bears (not the soft jelly kind) when I fly, and give some to the parents for the kids — these help them work their jaws, thus equalizing the pressure in their ears, and they distract the kids with a treat.

    I fly a lot, and have seen a lot more annoying behavior from adults. How about starting with the big gal who has decided that she gets 100% of both armrests? Or the guy who shoves his knees into the back of your seat, then starts moving his legs in time to the music in his headphones (which he’s sharing with you because he doesn’t know he’s singing along)? Or the guy who wants to see where you are, so he reaches across (from Seat C) to flip up the visor that you put down to keep the sun out of your eyes while you try to sleep? I’ve never had a child bump his coffee cup off of the tray all over my legs and the under-seat carry-on bag that’s got my laptop inside.

    . . .and I can’t remember the last time a 5-year-old breathed booze in my face, while trying to look past me out the window . . !

    Some parents need to keep a better leash on their kids, but most of the time, people flying with small children have NEVER DONE IT BEFORE, and don’t know why the kid is fussing. Cut them a little slack.

  • John

    Are some of you people ignorant or just “plane” stupid? Some of you get it while others don’t have a clue. I AM a Flight Attendant and from a financial standpoint for the airlines, there will never be “kid free” flights, or “children or family only sections”. That’s just dumb.

    For those of you that say it’s the Flight Attendants fault. Well, you’re idiots. For those of you that say it’s the parents fault…Well, you hit the nail on the head.

    If I had a dollar for everytime I’ve had an adult to ask me to tell their child to sit down or behave I could retire. I look at the parent and tell them “that’s you’re responsibilty. You’re the adult they are the child. If you need a place to whip some ass, we have a lavatory in the back.” Yeah, as you can imagine, they are pretty shocked but they difinitely get what I’m saying.

    Someone said it’s because Flight Attendants don’t enforce the seatbelt sign. What good does that do when adults won’t even listen. Kids learn by example. Parents that discipline their children, I applaud you. I’ve had children on my flights that I wouldn’t mind having every day. They are behaved and well manored. It’s “yes, sir”, “no thank you”, etc. These are children where the parents have done their job. The others, well, the parents are worse than the children.

    So, for those that think it’s the Flight Attendants fault. Yeah, you’re pretty smart.

  • derf

    all the “family haters” should remember that the airlines aren’t fundamentally any different than a bus or train. Plenty of unplesant things can occur when using those modes of transport. There aren’t separate sections for childeren, drunks, smelly people, etc. If you don’t like it, take a cab, or hire a limo. Fortunately for the complainers, there are plenty of jets for hire. They do cost a bit more, but the cab will cost more than the bus too.

  • PATRIOT

    give the kid a shot ofr ammaretto, I’ll buy

  • Michele

    I think Carrie had the right idea. Teaching children to amuse themselves without bothering others is a lost art. I’ve seen children fed sugar and goodies sliding up and down the walkway prior to boarding. Keyed up kids aren’t going to sit still. When we travel with kids and it’s often, we make sure there are things for the older ones to keep content with and change the routine for the baby. Babies will sleep right through the 2-4 hour flight…unless the airline confiscates their milk :-) I think that if there’s a market for family vs. non-family flights it should be an option. However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to lump the well behaved kid in with the crazy crew ( the parents that think having tantrums, hitting or biting people, riding the beverage cart, or stealing snacks from the airport concession is ok). It used to be that upgrading to Business or First Class service eliminated this but alas those with enough money, write offs, or flight miles bring the noisy broods into this realm as well. Unless the flight attendant is willing to turn around a plane for so much disturbance I don’t see that they have much power to control passenger behavior when it comes to children.

  • Julie

    At the risk of beating a dead horse, just a few comments…

    One, I totally agree with everyone who has blamed the parents of the children. I fly often and while I do not have children of my own, have many friends with children and come from a large family. I am not a “child hater” or anything like that. However, having children does not allow you to put on your blinders and act however you want without consequence. No, it is not okay to change your child on your tray table, where someone else will eat. No, it is not okay to let your child kick, crawl on, poke at or incessantly talk to me. As the adult, YOU are responsible to monitor the situation and ensure that it is not disturbing.

    Yes I agree many adults are as annoying as children. I am also not happy when there are drunk obnoxious people. But if I use some of these parents’ logic…I guess we can say alcoholism is a disease and these people are just as unable to control themselves as the precious children. I don’t know.

    And my final comment, as far as “age discrimination”…well I wouldn’t necessarily call it that. If you are saying your child is unable to act as an adult in a given situation, maybe it is not an appropriate situation for a child to be in. There are lots of situations like this that are not considered discriminatory, such as (and before you jump down my throat, yes I realize the exact ages may vary by state but you know where I’m going with this):
    -No one under the age of 16 is allowed to work (legally). CAN a 10 year old scan groceries? Probably…just not allowed
    -No one under the age of 21 is allowed to gamble (18 for some types of gambling). Sure a 5 year old can scratch a lottery ticket…yet not allowed to buy them. Slot machines? Geez a 2 year old probably has the required coordination, but alas, they must wait until 21. Discriminatory? States don’t seem to think so.
    -No one under the age of 18 is allowed to vote.
    -No one under the age of 16 is allowed to obtain a drivers license.
    -No one under 17 can see a rated R movie. Can they physically see it? Hear it? Sit in the chair? Yes…but not appropriate for their age.

    I think that’s enough examples. Not the same as flying, yes I realize there are times when children NEED to travel. But as parents, please respect fliers around you. Not, the snooty “My child has just as much right to be here as you…and then act however they please” but instead try as hard as possible to maintain appropriate behaviors and if not APOLOGIZE to passengers around you. At least for me, admitting responsibility goes a long way. It’s the callous, selfish indifference that irks me!!!

  • Jim

    As a parent (and I’ll admit, I have a lot more patience with others’ children now than before I had my own), please let me know the instant my son or daughter does something that disturbs you.

    It might be embarrassing for a parent to be told that his daughter is kicking the seat, but most of us will immediately correct the situation and keep a better eye on it throughout the flight. Man up and talk to the parent. Even my son, who has CP, isn’t allowed to act in an inappropriate manner (doesn’t mean he doesn’t, it means he gets properly corrected).

    Parents do not want their children to be bad passengers.

    Babies though? Sometimes you just can’t get a baby to stop crying – silliness to blame the parent or the infant (it’s one of their two skills). The other, filling diapers, is just what they do (and you did, too). I feel sorry for the mother or father who has to attempt to change a diaper on an airplane, not for myself.

    My worst flight was a cross-continental one wedged between two obese guys. I fill my seat at two and a quarter. I was flanked by four-hundred pounders on a capacity flight. Even then, though, we dealt with it – taking turns standing when allowed.

  • B P

    My solution to misbehaving: Slap the child or slap the parent, I don’t care which.

    Kidding (sorta). This applies not just on planes, but in restaurants and anywhere we’re all confined.

    The truth is, the parents’ behavior matters TONS. If the parents are TRYING, those of us around the children should be more understanding. (The same would apply to someone who was ill not due to overimbibing on the plane – but if they overimbibe, it’s their own fault.) If the parents just sit there – and ESPECIALLY if the father just lets the mother deal with it, then I think that intervention is needed. I once said to a couple, “Since you obviously won’t care for your child, would you like me to call Child Services for you when we land?”.

    BTW, I have a two-year-old. My solution on a 5-hour flight (he was 15m then) to his issues (whether screaming or excess energy): I went to the back, let him jump around the lavatory (he loved bouncing on the changing table while looking in the mirror), left the door unlocked and removed him when anyone needed to use it, and constantly tried to keep him busy. My wife did the same. We were amazed: In two other families near us, the fathers did NOTHING; in one of those couples, the mother mostly ignored her child’s behavior. Needless to say, people loudly paid us compliments for our efforts, while staring at the other couples.

    There’s tons of irritating behavior out there. Morons who stand in the aisle while loading or unloading their luggage. The overly loud (esp. on mobile phones), the snoring, the non-aisle frequent-bathroom-visitor, the person who pulls on your seat to get up from theirs (use the armrest!), the flight attendants banging elbows with carts or saying the announcements as one long sentence or too loudly, the pilots who forget that we FEEL things when our butts move (as a private pilot, I was taught how to make a turn SMOOTH so passengers do NOT notice), and so on. Singling out children is just picking on the one group who are not even responsible for their own actions. Sad.

  • http://www.stewartcolbert200.net D Smith

    As a frequent flyer and a avid non-parent, I would love to get on a flight I knew had no children on it. Back of the plane for them! They board first anyway, so let them go to the back where they are out of the way while they organize the food and drinks and games and blankets and diapers and tissues and clothes and whatever else they seem to need for even the shortest flights. And they get off last. Because there is no reason, when I spend time every Sunday packing correctly, conveniently storing items I will need to board, deplane, not take up time from other people boarding the plane (or at security, or at a coffee kiosk) to wait for them to deplane. The need more time, and take the longest to simply walk.
    It takes a village is just a saying! I am not from your village anyway. I have three dogs and a cat. I do not travel with them unless I plan on inconveniencing myself with the trouble of travelling with my creatures. I love them; you don’t have to. They probably wouldn’t like you anyway, and I would prefer if your kid didn’t like me. I have no desire need or even tolerance for their attention. My pets are not your responsibility. They are mine. Keep your children from covering me with food on the next flight I take, and i will stop my dogs from eating your children. Deal?

  • Crystal Griffith

    I am a business traveler and got stuck in a seat with a kid, about 8 or 9 yrs old, behind me who kept kicking the back of my seat. Considering that the seats are primarily upholstered cardboard, I felt every kick. This was while we were still boarding! I finally stood up, turned around in my seat and loudly said, “Quite kicking my damn seat!” The kid was startled to say the least and the parents did act quickly to stop the offending behavior. I quess they were worried about what my next reaction would be if he didn’t!
    On the other side of the coin was my daughter, a former FA who was always quite firm with parents who refused to control their children. She knew you can’t control the crying because many times it is their ears that are causing pain but running amok in the aisles was not allowed on her flights. One parent from the Mid-East yelled at her about her disciplining his son who was running wild in the aisles. He told her that in his country women did not tell boys/men what to do. She promptly informed him that they weren’t in his country and that she was responsible for their safety so she would tell his son what to do if he wouldn’t! My daughter finally quit the airline business and is now a prosecutor . . .she says she doesn’t get any lip from anybody now!

  • Michael

    Like many who have posted here I am a parent. I am also a business traveler, platinum for too many years. Here is my tidbit, to be used only for the most offensive child whose mother will do nothing to rein him in. After speaking to the child, and particularly if the mother makes some comment as to my lack of tolerance or “just a child” I turn to the child and say most sternly, “son, if you kick my seat one more time I am going to hurt your mommy. If you don’t believe me, kick my seat again.” Now mom will go ballistic, but what the heck. As I said, this is for the worst case child. Your flight is already ruined, why should mom enjoy her flight?

  • Joe

    It is funny (and sad) that people make such a big deal about the kids misbehaving on flights. I think it is because they are smaller. If a grown (maybe not mature) person is kicking your seat or drops something onto your lap do you just let it go? Or do you say something? I have seen way too many adults let it go. BUT, when a child does something similar they get all mad.

    Why the double standard. I’d rather have a non-alcoholic flight than a non-kid flight. Wouldn’t you? Heck let us have only flights with all males (female crew only) and the opposite for women. How about 30-40 year old and 18-30 yr old flights so we can meet others in our age group?

    Obviously the person who would rather fly with a “Chihuahua with diarrhea” has other issues. And sedating kids with medications only makes the medication less effective when the child really needs it for an illness. Are you willing to give it to an adult who is overly talkative on a flight and you want to rest? Can we just sedate everyone on the plane? Then the airlines will save money from cleaning, food and entertainment.

    I have seen parents get on a 3 hour flight with a book or nothing for thier kids. So here is my idea. Maybe we should have an extra bag for kids. For every kid gets to carry one on to keep under their feet. The bags are inspected when they check in. No suckers, no sugary snacks are allowed. And for every 15 minutes of boarding to de-planing time there must be a differrent toy or set of books. A 3 hour flight would then have 12 different items in it (maybe 3 books, a coloring book and crayons, an electronic toy and a few games and something new the child has not played with before{not my laptop mind you}).

    I go to the local party store and buy a $5 bag of kiddie party toys before a flight. This way if the parents forget to pack enough (or the kid is in a mood) you can use it to bribe a child. “Do you want this toy? I’ll give it to you, but you have to not touch my stuff and stay in your seat.”

    Just remember what goes around comes around. You show no compassion then when you need it don’t be suprised when none shows you any. This goes for the parents as well.

  • Melanie

    Two weeks out from my big yearly vacation, I am in the throes of the worst cold/flu I’ve had in several years. I directly attribute my illness to the 2-year-old who flailed across the aisle from me on my Sun Country return flight, screeching incessantly for 3 hours, hacking up sputum from her fevered red face that flew across the aisle landing on my arm more than once. Not only was it irritating to have to fly seated next to a hysterical child who looked like she belonged in a sick ward, but it was patently unfair of the parents to expect me to do so. And for the brief respite of 15 minutes when little typhoid mary dozed, I kid you not, another infant let loose with full-on wailing. I am an adult leisure traveler who paid good money to enjoy a romantic vacation with my husband. Why should I be subjected to 3.5 hours of someone else’s screaming sick toddlers and then be sick myself two weeks after being infected? That’s just patently wrong. A child so obviously sick should not have been allowed to board any more than that poor TB guy who had his name splashed across every media organization around the world. What’s with the double-standard? And, what’s with the fact that airplanes have suddenly become the new Chuck E. Cheese? I say air travel isn’t expensive enough if so many people can afford to travel with 2 or 3 kids under the age of 5. I counted 5 gargantuan strollers wheeled right up to the gate, and there were 7 children seated within one row of me on a flight from Minnesota to Fort Myers. I’m all for special flights or sections for children. Don’t let your kids ruin my holiday.

  • everett

    Wow someone wrote above that anyone who complains should just ask for a child free world. Believe me I’d be first in line. Any adult acts like an ass I can tell them to curb their behavior. A child and the parent often gets upset because I am parenting their child…..

    People put up with crappy kid behavior because often their children did the same thing. I am always amazed when a child is kind and courteous but very happen and appreciative of the work of the parent.

    BUT I can deal with a kid on a short flight. When you go to Hawaii UGHHHHH….. Why take your kids?

  • Catherine

    I think it’s funny how twisted Americans get about small children. There are so many hotels, inns, B&Bs, activities, and restaurants in America where children aren’t allowed. I guess you begrudge the 10% of vacation spots where they are welcome.

    Hawaii isn’t appropriate for kids?!? What’s next, Disneyland?

    I wish whiners would disappear from my flights. Kids are nothing compared to you.

  • Tom

    Regarding the free Valium — give it to the complainers. Let the kids and their parents alone. Seriously, kids are part of the human spectrum. In fact, these kids will be your doctors and nurses when you get old. I hope they are more kind than these whiners.

  • Lisa

    If you want a flight with no children, charter a private flight. So many of you are willing to pay more for kid-free flights so go for it.

    People who complain so viciously about young children have many complaints in life. You are in more control of yourself than you think.

  • kris

    I am the parent of a 16 month old, former flight attendant and I hate to tell you people out there who dont have children this but… An infant cries when he or she cries and there is only so much one can do about it. The parent with the screaming child is feeling stressed and embarrassed enough without you giving them the stink eye. I also would never, ever, consider drugging my child for other peoples comfort. Period. As a flight attendant I would have never asked a parent to do so.

    I also will not be waiting until my child is perfecly behaved until I take them on a trip. How silly that I should not be able to travel and enjoy my vacations as a family and isolate myself until others feel that our family is acceptable to be in public. I will do what I can to make my child happy and entertained, and be aware of how they effect others and do what I can to keep the disruption to a minimum, but I will be flying and traveling. I guess I expected that people are generally more tolerant than I see here. Its sad, I think the bigger problem is that Americans seem pretty self-centered and think that they “deserve” to never have to accomodate others. Face it, you are on a gloried bus that is taking you and 200 or so others to a destination- get over yourselves. If you want to be pampered, buy first class or hire a private jet.

    Through travel I am teaching my child that there are people and places out there that are different, that we have to be flexible and positive when things get difficult, and how to have fun. I wish some of your parents had taught some of you the same.

  • Laura

    As a parent of a 2.5 yr old I have to say I am appaled at what some people wrote about other parents. We fly fairly frequently to visit grandparents who live 1000 miles away. I cannot believe a parent would ever change a diaper on a tray table, or giggle when a bottle is thrown. I know they do but it makes me cringe as a parent that somone would behave that way! We try to be very considerate when we fly. We time our flights so that they coinside with nap time so she will fall asleep on the plane.We bring as many toys and books as we can fit in a carry on. My husband boards the plane first with the careseat and carryon. To save room, we bring nothing for ourselves so that every inch of space can be used to entertain her. I then chase my daughter all over the terminal wearing her out. She and I are last ones to board (we use the same procedure getting off, I carry her off as quickly as possible and he waits until everyone has de-planed and carries our stuff off). Once we are buckled in and allowed to use electronic devices, out comes the DVD player with headphones, she watches movies, read, colors, snacks (no sugar). Basically anything to keep her quiet. I have changes many a diaper trying to balance her on the toilet lid, it’s not easy but it can be done. When she was an infant we used to bring ear plugs for those around us, incase she began screaming uncontrollably. I figured the gesture would atleast acknowledge to those around us that we realize we are making a fuss and are doing our best to make their flight enjoyable. We bring more bottles.sippy cups than she could ever comsume in a 2.5 hr period. We also give her tylenol just incase. Whenever her voice is even slightly raised we smile and apologize to those around us. I truly understand no one likes to be on a plane with a kid, so we really try not to inconvience anyone.

    True story on her 3rd or 4th flight we boarding was delayed and our 4 month old baby was hungry! We kept holding off feeding her because we knew she needed to suck on a bottle at take off. I got on board with her (in the back of the plane) while she is screaming all the while getting dirty looks from every passenger we passed. We get to the back, buckle her in and the plane begins to move, I pull out the bottle and she was silent, she ate, fell asleep for the 2.5hrs and didn’t make a noise until after we had landed. It really is all about planning and knowing your child.

  • Mike

    Children are understandable to me. Certainly if you are flying cross country to see Gramma it makes sense to bring the kids. What gets me recently are the dogs and cats. Do they really need to see grarmma?

    On my last flight there was a cranky spanial tucked under a seat. On the next row forward was a mother with her infant. The dog here is directly under the child. The combination is what made the flight miserable. The dog barked scared the kid and the kid cried, which caused the dog to bark…

    Fido should probably be going to the kennel. I still wonder how they handle pet allergies with regards to carryon animals.

  • Kelly

    I flew with my 2 kids (ages 3 and 7) for the first time last year. Flight was only 1 1/2 hours and we were VERY prepared. We took cd player, books on cd, colors and coloring books, movie players, all of which fit well in the carry on (so no extra gear for us except the stroller which we checked at the gate). I was worried my little guy would have ear trouble since he had problems anyway. We carried lollipops and tootsie rolls just in case. We actually had no problems, even upon severe turbulence. My kids never cried, never left their seats, never complained, and were actually better at flying than I was my first time.

    Moving on. I am shocked to hear people’s suggestions of responding to the offending children with cursing. Honestly, grow up. And to suggest threatening to “hurt mommy” if they don’t stop is not only irrational, but demonstrates that someone is a bit young and immature. Making threats like that or cursing at anyone on a plane is worse than any crying child. Such behavior would never be tolerated at a restaurant, but a hyper child might be.

    I think the best thing for parents to do is pick the shortest flight possible (non-stop if possible) and go prepared with activities to keep them occupied.

  • Daniel H. Hafter

    Quick story, we are a family of 4, (twin girls) this is the second year that they are Gold Elite on NWA, they don’t always travel with us; the do travel with us about 80% of the time.

    I would like to say that my kids never act out on a plane and they are well behaved, that is not true but most of the time they are good sports about travel. I sometimes loose it after all I am only human. Only one time did they have a major “loose it” on a short flight after about a 3 hour delay, that one time I wish we were kicked off the plane. Nothing is worse then sitting on the tarmac for hours on end, hearing the “stay in your seats”. About 50% of the time we fly Business Class and I love the looks when other travelers find out that kids are in first class. We are paying for the seats, not always upgrading, if you don’t want noise then take your own car, boat or good headphones. When they were about one, my wife spoke in Amsterdam we had purchased full fares for all of us the Flight Attendants were not happy about this having as one said under her breath “Runts”. Bottom line is we paid for the seats, I dislike being crammed in like sardines in storage. After that flight we were thanked by about 8 others in FC for how great parents we were for keeping our kids quite and playing with them. Flights longer than 2 hours we fly First Class, that was my decision and it is expensive but worth the extra few inches of space.

    The pro/con argument about so called family sections on planes, airlines could have one flight a day for adults, kids after 2 years are full paying customers. Some restaurants request no children (weddings and other events). When this happens we make arrangements for someone to watch our children or we do not attend.

    Kids do cry including mine (not on every flight)
    My kids make travel more fun, passes the time
    All these so call Righteous Adults were kids once, unless cloning is way ahead and I am way behind

    They don’t drink and call Flight Attendants names that also gets flights detained
    Snoring that shakes the plane
    Sloppy drunk
    Rude and condescending to most everyone
    Pushing to get onto a plane, this happened in Detroit when an adult ran over an elder man to get his assigned seat. That was over a two hour delay waiting for medics
    Kicking the seats, yes they do (kids are bad about this but adults are worse)
    Knee shaking – see above
    Cell phones, when the FAA allows Cellular phones to be used during travel, I will most likely slow down on public flying. No one is that important, Yakking away non stop for hours going overseas the nightmares.

  • MB

    We’ve all flown flights with the “terrible” children. But what about those “terrible” adults? Should we also ban all adults because some of them have a hard time flying in squished, cattle cars in the air?

    I do think parents should think harder about travelling with children in general. They should understand the developmental stage of their child and take that into consideration when making any choice for their child (like taking children to the supermarket after their bed time and yelling at them for misbehaving!)

    But let’s face it. We do not live in our immediate family’s communities any more. To not allow parents to take kids to see family, etc. because they might not behave like civilized adults is rediculus! If we all acted more like a community rather than “don’t invade MY space” it might not be as much of a problem.

    Perhaps if you don’t like children on YOUR flight, you should take the train!

  • Marcy

    I find it fascinating that there have been continual posts on this board for almost 2 years. Obviously, this is an issue with travellers, both with and without kids.

    I travel for business and pleasure fairly often — about 20 or so times a year. Most of the time, kids aren’t a big problem, however I am usually relieved not to have one adjacent to my seat. The comments on parents being the ones responsible are dead-on. As parents, my husband and I had no “wiggle room” with our son’s behavior, even as an infant. If we were in a restaurant and he started fussing, one of us would take him out until he was settled down. Obviously, you can’t do that on a plane, but I have been astounded at the number of parents who don’t bring a pacifier, candy, bottle or other “diversion” for an infant. ” Let ‘em cry – that’s what they do,” seems to be their belief.

    All in all, you learn to live with it. However, I need to comment on lap babies. I think there DOES need to be an age limit there. On a recent Southwest flight, no fewer than 10 couples with “lap babies” (if they can walk, are they lap babies?) crowded the boarding area to pre-board. Fortunately, they all sat together in the first few rows of the plane, thanks to Southwest’s seating policy. Unfortunately, crying babies feed off each other creating a chorus for all to hear. What a great flight that was — even from the back of the plane!

  • Katie

    I have a 15 month old who flies frequently. I always buy him a seat. I always bring a huge bag full of crap to amuse him. I am a walking circus. I don’t relax for one minute on the airplane constantly making sure he isn’t disturbing anyone.

    One time, as I was leaning over to read yet another book to my son, a loud middle aged man who had been talking loudly to his buddies in the aisle spilled his Jack and Coke all over me.

  • Justin

    I think we all need to take a step back and look at this realistically. Kids act up, parents don’t control them… This happens all over, not just in commercial airliners. I myself am the parent of a four year old, and I know the looks one gets when their kids say or do something that others might find anoying. Really, how long are you on that flight, a few hours or so? Perhaps we should all stop complaining so much when a situation is not exactly as we want it to be. People with kids sometimes need to fly, thats a fact. I, however, am much more annoyed by the possibility of catching some sort of foot fungus from the TSA’s mandated “no shoes allowed” security clearance shenanigans. Get over it people!!!

  • Parent and Business Traveler

    Business Travelers do not own the national airline infrastructure. Children, elderly, foreigners enduring 2nd language shock and other “annoying” segregated classes needing extra time are fellow human beings. Just as you request an appointment at the doctor’s office, but wait respectfully for the doctor to finish her / his diagnostics with the last patient … be a “human being” instead of a “business traveler” when you use a public facility like an airplane. Gate agents try their best to separate the “business traveler” kind that reaches for the overhead bins with platoon coordination as soon a the seatbelt sign goes off. This is the best you will get and deserve.

    Become an entrepreneur who starts an all business airline if you believe “business travelers” are willing to pay for the loss of RASM (revenue per available seat mile) for such a business model.

  • Joe

    Jeez, I didn’t know this many people hated kids. Obviously kids have special needs and they certainly can be obnoxious in some ways but it isn’t their fault or their parents fault how they behave in a pressurized metal tube flying 600 miles an hour at 35,000 feet for 4 hours. I’m taking my first trip with two kids under 4 on Friday. I hope my kids do well. We’ll certainly do our best keep them in line not for the MANY MANY inconsiderate rude and extremely self centered people who have posted TROLL messages on this board but because I love my kids and want them to be happy I hope the next time you trolls out there are in a new situation having a bad day and acting out you will get the same consideration you give Kids.

    Thppppbt!

    Joe

  • Red

    Chill out guys and girls… Kids are part of life… May be airlines should give an option for passengers to be seated far away from any kids flying…

    If you think getting enough sleep when there are kids howling & crying it tough, think of the parents… I had to hold my 1 yr old standing through a cross atlantic flight because he would cry if I sat down… blisters on my feet were better than seeing him cry….

    Think of it as traveling on a Greyhound Bus with kids without any windows… Now adays airline travel is common place. There is always first/business class

  • Bob

    Crying babies don’t bother me a whole lot. There’s not a lot you can do to control it.

    What I really can’t stand is the parents who let their kids who are well past toddler stage kick the back of my seat for half an hour and then get upset when I ask them to stop. Parents need to take some responsiblity in keeping their post-toddler children under control and behaving.

    Jerry Clavner: doesn’t surprise me he’s a sociology professor, making such an idiotic statement: “If we cannot get there by car comfortably with a child, why would I want to go anyway?” I moved to South Korea on a military assignment with a five-month old. Kinda hard to drive there, professor. I guess I should have just left her with relatives for two years so you can have a quiet ride eh?.

    By the way, that was a thirteen hour flight and she cried and puked for about half of it. So a half hour of crying on a flight is no big deal. If you can’t handle it, then buy a pair of those Bose Quiet Comfort headphones…

  • Moira J

    I do not think that any further restrictions should be placed on babies on board. If a baby’s crying is disturbing, ear plugs or the headphones can be used. With older children, it is the parents’ duty to ensure that when they enter a public space, they show respect for the rights of the other people there. Along with the messages regarding the use of cellphones, computers, and emergency procedures, the airlines should tell parents specifically of all types of unacceptable behaviour and their responsibility to see that it does not take place. There is nothing wrong with a parent walking in the aisle while holding the child’s hand when it is safe to do so.

    Travelling is my passion, particularly air travel. I have crossed the Atlantic nine times which adds up to 18 trips and have flown in North America and the Caribbean scores of times. All of my flights had children on board. I can honestly say that there was only one time that having a child on board presented a problem and that had nothing to do with the baby. The child was air sick and in helping to clean up, the flight attendant sprayed the area with a chemical without thinking that there may have been passengers in the vicinity with respiratory difficulties. I had an asthma attack and became quite ill.

    My most recent return trip from Europe was in February this year and a baby sat across the aisle from me. She was as good as gold. If you could not see her from where you were sitting, you would have had no idea that she was on board. She played with toys, was fed, laughed, slept, taken to be changed and BOTH parents took turns keeping her amused. I believe that my other good experiences were the result of parents taking their responsibilities seriously. They trained and disciplined their children properly beforehand and when they came aboard they ensured that their children were kept occupied and entertained. This is not impossible. Just yesterday at the doctor’s office, a father came in with his two toddlers. He was given a sheaf of forms to complete which he did. During this time, those toddlers sat in their seats quietly and did not run around disturbng their father or anyone. I was extremely pleased to observe this. This is the way my own children were trained and thsi is sadly missing from child raising today.

  • http://www.shipcriticblog.com Anne Campbell

    Ear plugs work great

  • ronda

    personally i think that poeple are prejudice about kids being on flights. yeah, surethey’re annoying as hell and after a half an hour you want ot give them sedatives, but most kids arent any worse then some adults on flights. in fact a lot of kids are better behaved then some adults on flights.

    however i do think that its a good idea to make family orientated sections on flights. first off, it offers a less stressful area for parents because they know that they’re not going to get looks from ohter passengers. its more relaxful for kids who most likely have never been on a flight before and it’s easier on all the other passengers on the flight becuase they’re not having to deal with toy cars escaping down the hall or burping in your ear or kicking the seat.

  • Scott M. Turner

    I myself am completely in favor is child-less flights. While I completely and totally understand and support the rights and needs of parents to fly with their children, I also have a right to fly without the intrusion of an uncontrolled child. Flying can be stressful enough without adding to it.
    The sad part to me is that it is often the parents more than the child. I will do everything I can to tune out a child if the parent makes the effort to adress the behavior. But a parent that just allows the child to scream/run/act badly does not deserve this consideration. Show consideration get consideration.
    Air travel is not a place for parents to allow their children to run free, just because they cannot run away.

  • Chris

    I have been on a few flights myself (travel agent for more than a decade), most of those coming before I had kids ( I now have 2 – aged 3 yrs and 5 mos). I have never had as much problems with kids as I have with the drunken college kids, surly vacationers, and all the other annoying personality types that frequent the world’s skies! I have seen people so drunk that they need to carried off the aircraft – not a single child with that predicament and it goes on and on.

    Having said that, i actually wouldn’t object to a separate section for families. It might be an opportunity to provide more kid-friendly entertainment options, snack options and heck, why not get it sponsored by Sesame Street or Disney or something like that, so it wouldn’t cost the airlines as much to make the changes to the aircraft….

    Just my humble $0.02!! Happy travels!

  • Doug

    Of the 25+ flights I’ve taken in the past month I can count on one hand the number that have not had children on board. Many of the flights with children on them have been just as peaceful as those without. The problem is the parents that refuse to take the other 300 people on the flight into consideration and the crews that let them get away with it.

    I have no problem with the mother that gets up every 20 minutes or so and walks her toddler down the aisle so she can look around and smile at people. I have no problem with the child that’s screaming while we sit on the ramp for two hours in the cold waiting to deice (I’d scream myself if it would help). Most aircraft are pressurized so that at 38,000ft you’re feeling about 8-10,000ft. I don’t have an issue with a child that cries a little at this discomfort as they adjust. However, it seems to be a rare occasion when the parent actively tries to quiet them. Heck, it doesn’t even bother me to swap seats so parents flying standby can be together with their child.

    When a person boards with their six children that they’ve scattered throughout the aircraft, two newborns that they didn’t buy seats for but brought car seats on board for, and makes no attempt to entertain or control their children is where I’d say they’ve crossed the line. The four year old kicking the seat in front of him should be reprimanded the first time it happens. If you let your kid do it for three hours don’t look at me like I’m the bad one when I threaten to take his legs away for the remainder of the flight. The best quote from a mother on a NWA flight from MSP to SAT recently was “Switch seats with me. I don’t want to sit in front of you again.”

    At some point the cabin crew to needs to step in. It amazes me how many policies are overlooked and inconveniences are made for other passengers to accommodate these people.

    Parents: Respect the other passengers as we do you. You have no more rights on a flight than any other passenger.
    Flight crews: C’mon, a little help here…

    As for the sock puppet idea… I keep a couple of Disney DVDs in my laptop bag for other people’s children, works well on international flights.

  • Joy

    I think at the heart of this argument is the fact that we, as humans interacting with other humans, have little respect for each other. In my opinion, a child that is deliberately kicking the back of the seat without being reprimanded is just as bad as the woman (or man) who walks on the plane smelling like they just got out of a bathtub of perfume or cologne or the idiot who drinks too much and ends up making a complete fool of themselves or the oversized individual who is too large for the seat and ends up taking one and a half seats instead of just one.

    You know, on the flip side of the child argument are the snide, rude and oftentimes uncalled for comments from passengers and crew about children. We’ve bought a seat for my daughter from the first day that we flew with her (which was when she was two months old) and had crew assume that we were parents who brought on a car seat without paying for her (while a flight attendant was standing right beside me he said “I hate the parents who think they can just take a seat without paying.” which prompted a nastygram to Southwest airlines). I continue to have crew – even though my daughter is now three and by law has to have her own seat – assume that I’m a parent trying to sneak my kid into a seat without paying. I have crew that have said, “Just the kind of child we like. A silent one,” And passengers who have said, “It’s so nice to travel with a child who doesn’t scream the entire time.” I had one man who sat beside us on a Southwest flight (we were there first, he seated himself second – plenty of open seats, he just wanted a sit by the aisle) get irritated with my daughter when she was eating a cracker and when she was TRYING to be polite by clearing her tray of crumbs accidentally brushed some on to his pants.

    I’m very fortunate that my daughter is an EXCELLENT when we travel and I agree that parental preparation is a huge part of the equation. I spend just as much time getting her activities and snacks together as I do trying to get us both packed. At the same time, telling me that you like my child on the flight because she is silent is an insult to me as a parent because I know that she is exceptionally well behaved and that just like most other kids, she has her moments and though rare she’s had them on planes (she’s just chosen not to show you) Tell me that she’s well behaved and that you appreciate how well she’s done on the flight. Thank my toddler for being such a big girl because she understands the praise and it makes her proud.

    I KNOW that people don’t like to see me arrive at the gate with my daughter. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the looks and the stares and make sense of the sighs and the groans and the eye rolls. I just wish for once, instead of immediately making assumptions about me and my daughter as passengers, people would give us the benefit of the doubt.

  • Beth

    Having traveled since I was just a few years old, and now, having done multiple long international legs (LA to Sydney for example), I have found there are several possible solutions.

    Firstly, as a child, we always had plenty that we could do in the form of coloring books and toys, however we were often encouraged to sleep (even if this meant motion sickness prevention medication that made you drowsy as well).

    Now, as a traveling adult, I have seen on many occasions people speak with flight attendants to request a seat change, which they are often quite happy to accommodate. My personal preference is just to bring along my ipod and read, or fall asleep listening to some soothing music. Nowadays they even make noise reducing headphones.

    Simply put, we don’t require families with children to have their own section at restaurants, shopping centers, on buses, etc, as children are a normal part of society. Rather than promoting segregation why not find workable alternatives and be willing to be co-operative ourselves?

  • Dr. Reno

    Those of you who are spouting off about discrimination based on age being illegal in this country (Becky, etc.) PLEASE PLEASE refrain from talking about subject that you are ignorant about. The law ONLY protects those aged 40+ – there is NO LAW IN THE US against preventing children (or anyone under age 40) from flying, dining, etc. I suggest you go back to school and learn about the ADEA of 1967.

  • Aaron

    Four words: Shure noise-isolating headphones. If there’s a baby on board and it starts screaming, I just plug myself in and put on some soft classical music. No baby, no cry.

  • Grandmother from CA

    I would like to suggest that it is imperative and the responsibility of the adults accompanying the children to be prepared. I have flown with both my 1 year old and 6 year old granddaughters at the same time. I have flown with the 6 year old every summer and winter since she was 2. While audibly, it is a bit more difficult to control a 1 year old, I have found that if the girls are entertained, they are manageable and good citizens. It does take a lot of activites to keep them entertained though…especially from about 1-3 years of age. I have lots of activities including books, mini-aquadoodles, small projects that don’t require smelly glue or markers (like making necklaces with beads), movies on portable DVD players, polly pocket dolls, sugar free suckers (you have no idea how well the suckers work) etc. It isn’t easy, but it is possible. I also always book a window and center seat so I can isolate the child from the passenger next to me. I can even lift up the arm rest and get a bit more room. Sometimes I pack a small tray because the tray tables don’t work well for children’s play. I think the problem lies with babies and toddlers needing distractions. In a home, you can pick them up and take them to another room and change their environment. On a plane, this is not possible, so you have to visually distract them.

  • Elizabeth

    I recently sat down in my seat next to two little boys traveling without their parents. I thought to myself “This is going to be a really, really long flight!”. The boys were whispering back and forth and coloring in coloring books. After being in the air for a half hour the boys continued to color, read and play games AND whisper. I finally asked them why they were whispering and the oldest boy said (in a whisper) “Our Mommy said it’s not polite to disturb others and that we should whisper so others on the plane can take naps or read”. They were the BEST travel partners I’ve had for some time. I’d like to congratulate that Mother for teaching her children well. I did let their Grandparents know how angelic they were. As for the rest of you parents that can’t control your screaming and kicking kids—please stay home until you can.

  • keri

    this is a great discussion, and one that has obviously been going on for quite some time. i myself do not have children, and sometimes on flights, they can be kind of an annoyance with the screaming and kicking. screaming can’t usually be helped, i realize. kicking the seat and throwing things is something you can ask the parents to deal with. try to keep the peace as much as you can. it’s really not that hard to be polite and patient for a couple of hours on a plane.

  • Sara

    Most of the time kids on flights don’t bother me, but I do hate the entitled attitude some parents have both on flights and in other public situations (see “Amity” above and his/her “my child is the most important person on the flight” comment).

    I am a reasonable person. I bring headphones, and I don’t yell at parents with screaming infants because at that point, it’s too late anyhow. But just like you paid for your kid to be there, I paid to be there too. No one likes to have their seat kicked or hear a children’s game with audible music. A parent attitude that it’s ok for this to happen because kids play by different rules make me more angry than actually being kicked. All I ask is that everyone, parents and regular adult passengers be reasonable people too.

  • Ann

    Now I love kids. I don’t mind them crying during day flights or evening flights. I have problems with babies and kids crying or pets barking in red eye flights (like from Hawaii to California or West coast to East coast). Passengers want to sleep on those flights, but it’s hard with babies crying or pets barking. I experienced that on my flight back from Hawaii this past month. I took a flight leaving Honolulu leaving at around 9:20pm and arriving in SFO at 5:15am. We had two crying babies on the flight and needless to say I go no sleep. Parents could be more considerate and take a day flight which are available from those locations, instead of taking those red-eye flights unless they know for certain the baby/child or pet will sleep through the flight.

  • Julie V

    I traveled frequently with my kids when they were small. We made it a point to make sure they were well fed and well exercised before the flight left. On each and every flight that we ever took with them, they were asleep almost immediately.

    Just before one trip, when one of the kids was recovering from an ear infection, the pediatrician told me to give him a dose of benadryl about 1/2 hour before we were to board the flight. He explained that it would make sure his ears and sinuses were “dried up” and that he would be comfortable on the flight. In addition he mentioned that as the parent of 9 (!!!) children, he always gave each of kids a dose of benadryl before any flight. He explained that it did them no harm, and assured that the kids, the parents, and everyone else on the flight had a peaceful experience.

    Thankfully, flying – like riding in a car – always made my kids fall asleep. I only needed to use the medication on the flight where one had been sick. However, perhaps that would be a solution to kids on flights?

Previous post:

Next post: