Ban babies on board?

March 29, 1999

Ban babies on board. Stop kids from flying altogether or at least create a special children’s section on planes.

That’s what a growing number of frequent travelers want to do. Passengers like Linda Rolle, an executive administrative associate, parent and grandparent from Denton, Texas.

“I’ve have had some horrible experiences,” she says. “Once, a 2-year-old finished his bottle and heaved it over his head and it landed on my head. Large bump, large headache, no blood. Also, no apology from mommy – only giggles and ‘isn’t he cute’.”

On another flight, a toddler in the seat in front of her “kept standing up and leaning over the seat to see what was going on. I did not mind this until he drooled into my lap,” she remembers.

Children are ubiquitous on flights these days. Nearly one-half of U.S. adults recently polled by the Travel Industry Association of America said they included kids on a trip during the past five years. The most dramatic rise in juvenile passengers came from corporate travelers. In 1997, 24.4 million business trips included a child, compared with 7.4 million business trips a decade earlier. That’s an increase of 230 percent.

Any surprise, then, that the number of complaints about kids is on the rise? Not to Jerry Clavner, a sociology and anthropology professor from Cleveland.

“Traveling on a domestic airline with children on board is like traveling with a Chihuahua with diarrhea,” he says. “Kids are hyperactive and they can’t control themselves. The plane is an unnatural environment, and you’re going to get bizarre behavior. I mean, why would you think children can sit on a flight for more than two hours, when their average attention span is 14 minutes, which is the space between commercials?”

Clavner says airlines and parents are “inflicting pain on people who are in a rush to get somewhere” and it needs to stop. “I have never inflicted my children on anyone else on an airplane,” he adds. “If we cannot get there by car comfortably with a child, why would I want to go anyway?”

D.J. Cotton, a former flight attendant for Pan Am who now lives in Los Gatos, Calif., knows the children won’t go away. But she has a few ideas about how to deal with them. Sedate infants before the flight, for starters.

“The baby sleeps, the flight crew and passengers arrive relaxed,” she says. If that fails, she adds, airlines should offer “optional parachutes for planes with screaming babies.”

Gregory Gulley-Purcell, a marketing coordinator for a specialty insurance company in Bellevue, Wash., suggests a less radical approach. “If the airlines created a separate compartment, akin to the first-class one, it could be used to accommodate families and adults traveling with children,” he says.

“I don’t think all kids are troublemakers, but the fact does remain that they have a lot more energy than should be contained in the over-crowded, constricted airline cabins of today.”

And how about the crewmembers? Adana Adams, who works for a medical research company in Urbana, Ill., and is the mother of three grown children, thinks the problem isn’t the kids or even the parents, but the flight attendants. She says crewmembers don’t enforce the seatbelt rules consistently, letting children run around the cabin to their hearts’ content.

When she complained about one kid’s behavior on a recent flight, she was told her predicament was her “tough luck.” Is it the flight attendants, the kids, the parents or just the stress of sitting in a pressurized cabin? I don’t know who, or what, is to blame.

One thing I’m sure of: I’m not one to talk. I was an enfant terrible back in 1969, when I took my very first flight from New York to Munich at age 1. I screamed, ranted, kicked, whined and fussed. Not unlike what I do today, except louder. I don’t feel like I have the right to criticize a couple of rowdy kids.

Among the most level-headed solutions, I think, is Stevanne Auerbach’s. The director of the Institute For Childhood Resources in San Francisco says it’s up to the adults to fly prepared. “You need appropriate games, puppets and activities to keep kids occupied,” she told me.

Put differently, it’s not a bad idea to pack a sock puppet on your next trip. Who knows, it may shut the kid next to you up.

Note: Five years after this article first appeared, Adams, who works for a hospital in a medical research department, contacted this site to request her name be deleted from the story. She said her quote was inaccurate.

“My complaint was that I had requested a window seat so that my elbow that was in a cast would not be bumped and when I got on the plane, a couple with a toddler had boarded early and taken my window seat and refused to move,” she wrote. “The four hours from San Diego was spent with a wild toddler bumping my broken elbow the entire time and flight attendants who refused to do anything about it.”

This site is happy to correct the record but does not, as a matter of practice, delete sources from articles.

  • Denise K. Watson

    I think the airlines should have child free flights and family flights. That way, all of us who don’t want to fly with children kicking the back of the seat, running around and screaming, can choose not to. Also, in defense of small crying babies, I fault the parents. Flying can be uncomfortable for adults, I imagine for babies under two years it must be excrutiating

  • Ed

    Thanks for my newest email sig:
    Traveling on a domestic airline with children on board is like traveling with a Chihuahua with diarrhea,”

  • Barbara Murphy

    I’ve thought FOR YEARS that there should be separate flights for children and their parents!! And they couldn’t say it was discrimination, because passengers would always have the ability to take the flights allowing children if they wanted to, but for those who want to travel in relative peace and quiet, we would have certain flights we could book that were no children under 10 allowed!

  • Christina Mellott

    I’ve been traveling regularly with my son since he was 2 months old. He’s an excellent traveler – better mannered than many adults. I always have books and toys to occupy him and he knows how he’s supposed to behave. People are always commenting on what a great traveler he is.

    I’m tired of reading articles complaining about children on airplanes. I find drunks, and those who spread out far beyond their seats far more annoying than any children. Parents pay just as much for their kids seats as the complainers pay, unless it’s a lap baby, and kids cause a lot less trouble than some unruly adults. Honestly, how often do you read in the news about having to kick a misbehaving child off an airplane? I can think of many instances of having to arrest misbehaving adults. So, have a little patience for our future generations.

    Airplanes are NOT mobile bars and there is no age limit, nor should their be. To suggest such a thing is ridiculous. Perhaps some of the people making such suggestions as child-free flights would also like a child-free world?

    If you’re having a problem with a child on an airplane, be an adult, and talk to the child’s parent. Be polite – state your problem – and I’m sure that the parent will be glad to fix it, if they can. If not, speak to the child, no doubt, your anger and irritation will scare him or her straight.

    After all, the relatively minor annoyance of the sound or behavior of a child cannot really compare to the major issues we have to deal with in our world today. Your contact with the irritating kid will be over in a few short hours. It won’t affect the rest of your life, unless of course, you insist on complaining about it forever. Let it go. Stop whining. Nasty, inconsiderate adults are much worse than any child.

  • jm

    A prior commenter suggests that we “talk to the child’s parent. Be polite – state your problem – and I’m sure that the parent will be glad to fix it….” To misquote Murphy Brown, is that a parent here, or a parent on the planet Oh-Yea-Sure? I won’t deny many adults are terrible passengers, I estimate about 2-3 in 10 bring enough carry-on luggage for a safari, hassle everyone around them, drink too much, talk too loud, and/or stand in the aisle at row 8 for 10 minutes during preferred boarding, exiting or while the carts are coming by, but I also find that same 20-30% ratio of children are miserable to other passengers (without the aid of alcohol, they seem to be just as loud, demanding, unaware of their surroundings, selfish about luggage and personal space, unable to obey the seat belt sign, and lack the ability to say “I’m sorry,” or “excuse me” when they do something unacceptable even to Visigoths) AND don’t have parents who are willing to engage them enough to resolve it. And, oh, to be done after a few short hours–but those kids show up on the rental car bus, along with their parents, 22 carry-on bags plus that stroller that was gate checked during the second scream-event, six hundred pounds of checked luggage (which I’m sure the checkin agent didn’t charge for because the toddler was “so cute”), and lo-and-behold, the only place the child wants to be is directly in the aisle in front of the door making each successive passenger wiggle like an otter to get past. I pity those who lack Gold service at the rental car agency who listen to the shrieks of the child in the line and the parent who thought the mini-van was guaranteed. At least I get away, until they show up at the Westin with us, too, where the “no one under 16″ rule in the pool/gym/spa/hot tub is clearly designed for someone else.

  • Carrie

    I just have to say that my 7 year old and my 6 year old flew by themselves last year, My parents met them at the gate and much to my surprise and appreciation several people told them how well behaved their grandchildren were. I don’t believe the problem is really the children but the statement “The average child’s attention span is 14 minutes which is the time between commericals” that explains it all right there. Too many people use the tv to babysit their children all day from the time they are 2 years old and this creates a problem. Children no longer know how to keep themselves entertained. My girls are getting ready to fly again this summer at 8 and 7 years old and they already have their card game, dolls, books and snacks packed!

  • Tanna

    I have both traveled on business without children and been the parent of a small baby traveling. While I have been annoyed in the past by unruly children it would never occur to me that the parents and the children had every right to be there and fly wherever and whenever they want to. The idea of leaving the kids at home is ridiculous especially when you think that a family may just be flying to a family funeral or to visit someone before they die.

  • donron

    I think the best solution is the idea to have a special kids & babies section at the back of the plane. People with kids always get to board first and then are often still blocking the aisles with all the gear they haul on board when you are trying to get to your seat. Seating all the kids & babies at the rear would eliminate that problem as well as keeping the noise and bad behavior of (some, not all of) the kids confined to one area. AIRLINES, ARE YOU LISTENING???

  • danielle

    I figured out years ago that if the flight was scheduled during a nap or sleep time, my kids would doze off. Quiet activities such as drawing or picture books fill the rest of the time and the only aisle walking we do during a flight is on the way to or from the lavatory. Any airline that insists my family be stuck with a bunch of sugared-up undisciplined brats and their clueless parents will not keep our business. I have seen the offenders and believe that flight attendants should be given more power to set the parents straight about what is expected of them during a flight. Much like dogs and their owners, kids are a reflection of their guardians.

  • ddjwms

    I once boarded a plane just before takeoff and was told by the flight attendant that there were two seats left: a middle or an aisle by the “screaming baby”! Being an experienced grandmother of ten, I opted for the aisle and screaming baby. I assured the harried young mother that I was used to small children and tried to put her at ease. Soon after takeoff, the “screaming baby” went to sleep, and I had a comfortable seat for the rest of the trip. Contrast that to another flight: I was seated behind a young mother whose child began to cry during the trip. I was reading and ignoring the situation with no problems until the flight attendant came to the already upset mother and said, “You have to quiet that baby; the other passengers are complaining.” What did she think the mother was doing? Pinching the child to make her cry or something? The mother, already embarrassed, was trying to quiet the child, but as every parent knows, that is not always successful. Now she was becoming more and more tense because of the flight attendant’s remarks and scowl; as anyone accustomed to children would predict, as the mother tensed, the child reacted to her tension by becoming more distressed and crying louder. Another older (grandmotherly?) passenger across the aisle and I both spoke to the mother to express our support for her, and I let the FA know her brusque intervention had, IMHO, just exacerbated the situation–as did the “complaints” from others–if there had been any which I might have doubted until I read some of the selfish, pompous complaints in this thread.
    I wonder what these child blasters would say about the guy across the aisle from me on recent flight who loudly punctuated just about every sentence with cursing and inappropriate language. I kept waiting for the FA to tell him that other passengers were complaining about him, but nothing ever happened. I find that kind of abuse of others from a (supposedly) responsible adult much more objectionable than a “screaming” baby.
    But in the end, I think a plane is a public place, and anyone who buys a ticket and does not actually harm others must be tolerated. With families living far apart these days and limited vacation time at holidays, etc., families often do not have the leisure to drive, not just considering emergencies such as illnesses and funerals. So a little compassion and good nature on everyone’s part is likely to make the situation less fraught. Kids exist; there is nothing airlines or child-phobic passengers can do to change that. They just need to take a deep breath and get on with it…

  • Saunya

    Having been recently held hostage during a Southwest Airlines Las Vegas to Indianapolis flight by a non stop screaming two year old tirade, I would have to agree that airlines should consider childless flights (one a week especially along heavily traveled routes). I would even consider paying extra for that option.

  • Dana

    Sheesh. These comments must be written by people who’ve never had a child in their life. Trust me, as a mother to a two year old NO ONE hates flying with a crying baby more than his mother. We travel equipped with DVD, games, toys and snacks galore, but sometimes nothing but landing will stop my normally angelic boy from crying.

    Crying babies *are* annoying. No one is denying it. But so are rude businessmen, passengers who opt not to shower, those who reek of smoke, loud snorers, loud talkers, people who read your magazine over your shoulder, loud gum chewers and people who hog the arm rest.

    I suppose they should get their own cabin, too?

  • Skip

    This is so beyond me. I’ve been traveling since 4 and flying since 7, and behavior like described above was unheard of–not only among my brothers and me, but all the other children on board. Occasionally an infant would cry but there wa snothing anyone could do about it–the infant cried because he/she was having ear pain.

    Misbeaving children on a plane are the result of poor parenting. The parents just don’t care–they’re used to it at home and don’t notice it on aircraft, in restaurants, etc. I applaud the FAs who remove families from the cabin while still at the gate because the child is being a spoiled brat.

  • Satin

    I love my kids dearly and I take their health very seriously, but I live in the real world when it comes to flying. Many many years ago, my eldest child, then under 2, with an undiagnosed ear infection, screamed for nearly 30 minutes as the flight descended. Yes, I cared about the other passengers, but I also didn’t want my child in pain. My solution, which many people will disagree with, was Tylenol with codeine. Every year or so, I’d ask the pediatrician, who also lived in the real world, for a script for a bottle of the liquid. When we were all seated, buckled and equiped with snacks and toys nearby, I’d give each child a tad more than the standard dose for their age. If I timed it right, they’d all be awake to swallow as we ascended, then fall asleep for much of the flight. When they awoke, rested and hungry, snacks occupied some time and the toys were fun since they had not been played with for the last 2 or 3 hours. We flew about 3 times a year, so I’d hardly call this drug abuse. It was win/win/win all around – the kids were able enjoy their time on the plane without any possiblity of ear pain, hubby and I had some quiet time and everyone around us didn’t have to suffer. For us, it was a blessing in a bottle and I’d recommend it to everyone with kids.

  • plet39

    As a mother, I take offense at being considered “pompous” because I don’t like having to deal with someone else’s brats. The problem with kids on planes or in any public space is the parents: groups of mothers who sit at one table at a restaurant and have their kids sit at another so that the poor waitperson has to deal with them; parents who are able to tune out their kids as the little darlings hang over seats and touch me with their grubby/sticky hands or drum their feet on the seatback. My daughter knew how to behave. On the few instances where she acted up in public, we left the establishment rather than disturb others (something, I concede, you cannot do on a plane). I object to having to deal with behavior from others’ children that I didn’t accept from mine. And for the “grandmothers” who responded in support of kids — some parents who knew how to make their own children behave manage to lose all perspective when they become grandparents!

  • Linda

    When my children were young and unable (or unwilling) to behave properly in public, I stayed home or took them everywhere by car, where I would be the only one to ‘enjoy’ their company. Once I felt they understood the concept of ‘quiet time’ versus ‘play time’, I did start taking them on flights, making sure that I was prepared to keep them entertained and comfortable.I was a single parent but, with the support of both sets of grandparents, I stayed home with my children long enough to let them know what good behavior was.

    Too many parents today don’t have the time to raise their own children. Some don’t have a clue what proper behavior is because they themselves grew up with babysitters or older siblings because of divorce or the need for both parents to work when they were young. How many of them went to school, let themselves into their home and sat with the TV for company? What does a TV know about proper behavior anyway?

    The idea of a child-free flight does sound great, just as smoke-free areas do.

    But wouldn’t it be nice if our government would crawl out from under the corporate thumbs that bought them and give some thought to remembering that our children are our future? We need to reverse the trend so that parents have the time to be with their children. Yes, forgive me for the old and tired saying but, we need to return to a kinder and gentler time when families stayed together. We need families who play Monopoly and Scrabble; not people who flop in front of the tube to cheer for the latest mutant who makes it on ‘Survivor.

  • Amity

    Wow, so this is what people think of my baby. I am a mother of a one year old that has already accumulated more frequent flyer miles than most adults. We live in Europe and the two of us have regularly flown back to the US for family visits. He is a good traveler but he cries, that is what babies do when they get tired, hungry, wet, sad, mad, or just plain bored. We buy tickets just like every other passenger and we deserve respect. I have been lucky enough not to have a baby crying for hours on end but he does fuss and I expect other passengers to accept that without complaint. And as far as giving your child codein to knock them out for a flight I would think that the majority of pediatricians out there would frown on that kind of acitivity. I hope that parents out there that are taking their kids on flights for the first time don’t read this message board and get scared. My advice to parents is to remember that the most important person on the flight is your child and that is who you should be most worried about not the reaction of fellow travelers; they are adults they should be able to deal with it.

  • Joan

    Much more often than children, my frequent travel has been disrupted and I have been annoyed by people with mysterious physical or emotional limitations who require airlines to bend over backwards for them. People with children are rarely in this category.

    One woman on a recent flight requested wheelchair assistance because her son had called her on her cell phone before the flight and left her emotionally distressed. What the ?!?!?!

    We NEVER request special assistance when traveling, and go carts running ‘special’ passengers through the airports go whizzing right past me and my two kids.

    My 2 and 3 year olds are frequent travelers. The three year old can do a 2.5 hr flight in his own row, watch movies on his iPod, read Continental magazine and place his own order with the snack cart. I think your article is entirely disrespectful of him and other kids who ‘get it.’

    You know that banning children on flights will never happen. Airlines are too into wasting money placating every Yahoo wallowing at the lowest common denominator. Either your article aims to incense people and measure your ability to garner responses, or you lack creativity in the topics you choose to complain about. Please.

  • Kelly

    Amity’s comment,”My advice to parents is to remember that the most important person on the flight is your child..,” cuts to the very heart of this issue. No, Amity, your child is NOT the most important person on the flight. In a social setting, the very most importance your child holds is equality with all his fellow passengers. The business woman in front of you who needs to be refreshed for the sales call that will save her job and keep her three children from starving might reasonably consider that her comfort is MORE important than your child’s.

    In a public setting, your child’s needs, wants or desires, do not trump ANYone else’s. Raising a child to believe that their own needs are the most important is exactly how we get those boorish adult passengers everyone dislikes. Take a good look the next time you see one. You’re seeing your “little prince” in 30 years and he’s just as popular as he is today.

  • Sin City Marv

    To all you parents with a sense of entitlement and think airlines/society must revolve around your screaming babies: your brats are NOT my problem, they’re YOURS. I didn’t create these screaming babies; I didn’t sneak into the mothers’ bedrooms that night. When you choose to have a kid, certain sacrifices come with it and if that means not flying until your kid is old enough to do so without crying, so be it.

  • Leigh Ann

    I’ve flown with my five-year-old since she was three months old. The only kids I ever see who are problems are lap babies. They want to get down and run around. They do not want to sit on mom or dad’s lap. Babies strapped into their carseats don’t generally have behavior issues. They are accustomed to being in their carseats and know that’s a time to be still. If the airlines would require tickets for kids under two, those problems would be eliminated. Not to mention the kids would be a whole lot safer during turbulance But the airlines are afraid if babies had to have tickets, people would drive and they wouldn’t make any money off those families.

  • Tiffany

    As a parent who recently just traveled a four hour flight with a 2 year old and numerous delays in the aiport it is just as stressful for the parents as it is for the other passengers. You do everything you can to keep your child as quite and happy as possible so you do not bother the other passengers. I had planned a red-eye flight from Denver to Newark so that my 2 year old would sleep the entire trip and everything would be perfect. Well the airlines cancelled our flight on Friday and we spend all of Saturday on stand by. We finally left Denver at 5pm headed for Houston instead of Newark and our daughter had taken her nap in the airport instead of the plane. But we lucked out and she was in a great mood for the flight, a little chatter box but no screaming. Then luckily for the flight from Houston to Newark she slept the whole time. I would love to have a child section with a little more room between the seats and a place for children to get down on the floor to play.

  • Tom Nikl

    I would cry tears of joy if children were banned on some (or all) flights.

  • Meg

    I was interested to read of Ms. Adams’ complaint because I have had similar experiences on flights lstely. Several times in the last few months I have reserved a window seat only to find that pre-boarding parents have put their children in the window seat and refuse to move them. I can deal with a child being a child (crying, etc) and I support pre-boarding to give families with gear more time, but that is not a license to take my reserved seat! To Amity et al, if you expect us to respect your child, please return the favor.

  • Jane R.

    I agree with Leigh Ann. “Lap babies” should not be allowed. My now 23-year old daughter was 3 months old when we took our first flight with her. We always bought a ticket for her car seat and never had problems except for the time we we delayed for hours in the plane waiting to take off from JFK to SFO and she threw up the cheerios I’d brought along for a snack to keep her quiet! I made sure to nurse during take-off and landing to relieve the ear pressure that makes anyone uncomfortable. We also always used children’s “Ear Planes” when our kids were a bit older. Last month I flew from MSP to EWR, taking off 6 hours late – tired and annoyed already. The woman in front of us had a lap “baby” (looked way too old not to have his own ticket) who screamed during boarding and then for most of the 3-hour trip until he fell asleep for the last half hour. Neither the mother nor the flight attendant did anything to quiet the kid. If you travel with children, you need to provide for them. If I had carried on the way I felt like doing after the long delay (original flight cancelled, one we were rebooked on hours late) I certainly would have been put off the plane! ANYONE behaving badly before take-off should be dealt with swiftly for the safety and comfort of all the other paying passengers, regardless of age.

  • Jeff

    Sure kids are annoying. But nowhere near as annoying as the pompous flight attendants who have forgotten that the passengers are customers on so many post 911 airlines.

  • Nora Young

    I would LOVE child free flights. I would pay more to be on one. MY pet peeve is sitting next to “Mom” and two screamers while she changes diapers. This has happened just as the food cart was coming! The screaming the stench! and I have to PAY for this?

    For the record, I have three children all born within 4 years. I am a grandmother and a great grandmother. I still have a hard time not throwing up at dirty diapers. They are not cute, they are disgusting.

    I would prefer the Chihuahua any day!

  • Paige T.

    Wow, all you people who suggest and support BANNING or LIMITING children on flights are out of your mind. That will happen when we can also establish flights free of blacks, women, elderly, handicapped, Jews, Muslims, fat people, skinny people, redheads, blondes, etc, etc – or any other group of people YOU child haters may have an issue with.

    Guess what? In America, we don’t discriminate against age. Banning a child or baby because a few kids may act up on ocassion is pure non-sense.

    If you idiots want a child free flight or want to control the exact type or age of passenger you travel with, either drive your own car to your destination or hire a private jet!

    In my 40 years of travel, I’ve never once had a bad flight due to loud children or crying babies. Maybe a few times a baby has cried for a short period, but nothing enough for me to want an entire industry to ban them. I’ve never traveled with a baby but do you folks really think the parent can control the crying of a 2 month old or even a 10 month old??? Don’t you think if they could control it they would???The worst that happen to me was a boy, maybe 5 yrs or so, who kicked the back of my seat until I shot him “the look”. Far worse has happened by adult men who continously bumped the back of my seat or shoved their seat tray the entire flight.

    The real cry babies here are those of you arrogant enough to think the entire airline industry should revolve around you and your personal preferences. Grow up! Buy a $2 set of earphones and enjoy the flight! Be thankful you’re not the parent of the crying kid.
    Heaven forbid your family member should die and you and your child might need to make a last minute flight cross country. If you really cared about all the boo-hooer grown ups you’d drive your child the 1,400 miles to grandpa’s funeral. The nerve of some parents with children!

    Boo-hoo-hoo!

  • Ken Widaman

    My Father was a 100,000-miler back when all the equipment had propellors and there was still scenery to entertain passengers (before the higher flight levels.) His favorite “top this” story was a center seat with a lap-baby on one side and a middle-aged man on the other. The flight down low was very turbulent and, with no one allowed out of their seats, the Mother had to change a diaper on her lap. She proceeded with all haste but the act caused the gentlemen on the other side to lose control. He reached out urgently for the flight distress cup (which in those days were like milkshake cups) but his need was so urgent that he failed to note that some joker had cut the bottom out of the cup! His lap/aisle discharge became a trigger for many seated around him and the lost-lunch syndrome reached epic proportion — including the original Mother. The minute the flight had a turbulence-free spell, the since-sainted flight attendants began the cleanup of both passengers and plane.

    My Father, who had somehow maintained his physical composure, leaned across to one of the attendants and asked, “When are you going to serve dinner?” He said it was the only time he ever heard a “stewardess” (for whom he had a very high regard) swear like a Marine…

  • http://kwidamanhotmail.com Ken Widaman

    More serious than my last submission:

    Both parents and flight attendants should understand and be trained to help infants relieve the stress of flight descent. The pain in ears is very real and is sufficient to cause grown men to cry. The pain occurs because of pressure differential between the ambient air pressure and the air inside the ears. This occurs frequently with babies because they do cry and regularly have blocked passages. Several other writers have noted that swallowing is the most universal and available remedy. Parents should carry (and flight attendants should be trained to provide) small sweets or drinks to induce swallowing during all descents. Time, in the form of a slower descent, is the only alternative — and we’re not holding a plane in the sky for ear trouble….

    I learned this the hard way with my own 4 year old Son. Flying my own Cessna, I took my Son sightseeing with me one gray afternoon. I climbed up to around 11,500 feet to show him the local ski slopes. Upon my return to base I followed air traffic control direction on vectors and descents and was wrapped up in flying the plane. In a free moment I looked over at my Son and the only clue I had was a quivering lower lip. I asked if he was in pain and he nodded, only then producing tears.

    I immediately requested a deviation from the directed descent “due to passenger discomfort” and was relieved to receive first class consideration from the controller. Despite working a very busy Los Angeles sector on a marginal VFR day, the controller immediately assigned a “hold” and said, “We’ll keep an eye on you. Advise when ready to descend.” I was proud of my Son’s fortitude, proud of the quality of people who work air traffic control, and felt really ignorant for having not prepared my passenger as pilot in command.

  • Sue S.

    To. Jane R. Lap babies should not be allowed? You as the mother of a child should be the last person to say that. My daughter who has been a frequent traveler since the age of 2 months refuses to sit in her own seat on the occassion that I have purchased one for her. It has become a waste of money for me. As she is still a little under 2 she is still able to fly as a lap infant and due to her small size sits/sleeps comfortably (for her) on my lap (not so comfortable for me). When she has had her own seats she cry and promptly climbs into my lap. It offers her a sense of comfort to be close to me. I hope she outgrows this soon but what about the small children who don’t want to sit in their own seats. It does happen. Thank God she is a good traveler and I have never had any major meltdowns on a flight. Most of time when we fly we are on flights that are over 5 hours long as I live in New York and fly to the West Coast frequently. Although I must say that I would approve of airlines creating a seperate class for travelers with children.

  • Katie

    I had to comment on the idea that “my child just won’t [insert proper behavior.]” The truth is, children are not the problem. Parents are the problem. Your child doesn’t sit properly and throws tantrums because that behavior wasn’t corrected somewhere earlier in their lives in a different situation. Now you’re on a plane, and it is far, far too late to correct it then.

    Airlines are not going to create family sections any time soon. It just doesn’t seem cost-effective. I believe they should instead create regulations that children are expected to follow. If they do not, then their parents face a fine when they leave the plane. Screaming, tantrums, running up and down the aisles, or kicking other passengers’ seats would be included under the list of “unacceptable.” In turn, flight attendants should have more authority when it comes to warning parents both before and during the flight about the potential consequences of their child’s behavior. It would force parents to properly prepare their children as best they can beforehand.

    Children MUST learn at some point in their lives that there are rules to be followed in certain situations. They are NOT the center of the universe. They do NOT have the right to disturb other people simply because they are young. If they are too young to follow the rules, they are too young to fly. It’s that simple. Naturally, there will be situations where infants or children under two must fly (such as a funeral or other family gathering elsewhere in the world), but they should be kept to a minimum. Would you take your infant to a movie, knowing he/she will cry and disturb other people during it? Of course not. Nor would you take them to a fine restaurant or wedding where they could potentially ruin the atmosphere for others. This is not implying your child is “bad;” rather, it is simply stating the truth that once you become a parent, you are obligated to take responsibility not only for the child but also for your own ability to raise them, and understand when and if they would be able to behave. As a parent, you make sacrifices. You made the choice to have children, so you have to sacrifice a good time or spend the money to get a baby-sitter.

    Please keep in mind that I’m not referring to infants, as they truly cannot help expressing their discomfort through crying. However, a good parent is aware of what upsets their child, and will take every precaution to prevent this. Also, a good parent knows if their child, infant or not, will be a good traveler. Many, MANY children are – I think the problem in this discussion is that many parents whose children ARE good travelers think the discussion is being directed at them, which isn’t the case. If your children are calm and occupied during a flight, excellent. Any complaints aren’t being directed toward you, but rather to parents who allow their children to behave in unacceptable ways.

    Parents know their children, and are totally capable of readying them for a flight. Children SHOULD be allowed to fly, but just as adults are expected to uphold certain degrees of etiquette, children are as well. And as for the drunks or obnoxious adult passengers, they face potential disciplinary action, so it should be the same for the person responsible for a reckless child.

  • Bee’s Mom

    I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum: dealing with a screaming child sitting behind me, and watching as children were allowed to run rampant throughout the cabin. And then there was the time that my daughter, who was 14 months old at the time, screamed her way from Greenville to Atlanta, thankfully it was only a 1 hour flight.

    The truth is that babies cry. And in a cramped, crowded space, there is frequently nothing that you can do about it.

    Do I think that children need to be taught proper manners? Yes. Do I believe that there should be consequences for parents who don’t contain their kids? Yes. But do I think that babies/children should be banned from airplanes? Yeah. Right. That’s so going to happen.

    Perhaps there will be an airline or two that will offer childless flights for frequent fliers. I think that would be a great idea, personally. And they would most likely make a pretty penny on it. But most flights will have to be with children, because if the children don’t fly, the parents don’t fly, and the airlines are running on a thin enough margin as it is. They can’t afford to lose the custom.

    And to be frank, they shouldn’t either. Babies/children are sometimes difficult. But they are also a part of life. And while I will agree, as I said above, that parents should discipline their children and teach them manners, there are going to be times that there is simply nothing that you can do about it. So deal with it people. It is an unpleasant situation and you’ve got a very small person who hasn’t got the ability to deal that you have developed over a long period of time. And please remember that an airplane isn’t quite a normal situation for a child. And sometimes a normally well-behaved child will act badly. Flying can be scary, exciting, or both.

    And for those idiots who say that children should be sedated before flying? My suggestion is that you sedate yourself first. Leave the kids alone.

  • Lori

    Instead of complaining abou the crying child, perhaps it would be wise as I have in the past to ask the mother if I could hold the crying child for a few minutes for it to have another face or necklace to play with and perhaps give the mother a minute to compose herself and realize that not everyone on the plane hates her and her baby.

  • Becky

    Lori, your comment is very compassionate. I would be thrilled to sit next to you, albeit my child has been a frequent flyer (she is two now) and is well-versed in how to sit quietly and entertain herself.

    Discrimination of age is illegal in this country when finding a job, so banning children is not the answer, folks. Getting angry at the “disgusting” babies and their parents is not the answer, either. This is why I loathe people who are so narrow-minded that they refuse to meet halfway – parents and business travelers alike, mind you. These are the pitfalls and “risks” of public transportation, people. You can’t make some of the subways in NYC childless for the same reason.

    Making choices for kids to go through their flight is key. We have been bicoastal fliers for the last year, and we take the redeye from SFO to JFK, when my daughter can sleep in her seat. Granted, it’s not comfy, and she doesn’t sleep as well, but she is quiet. We also fly JetBlue so she can have some TV, and she shares my iPod, and I bring her coloring books and some snacks. Infants should have plenty of bottles or discreet, nursing mothers to help with the air pressure changes.

    Parents of sick kids should keep their sick kids home. Parents of bratty kids should be held accountable for their kids, so perhaps a “Parents Code of Conduct” is in order for some airlines. That could get dangerous, though. It’s going to take the teamwork of the crewmembership and parents to control rowdy kids, as in, a crewmember should be able to tell a parent to make their child sit in their seat if he is endangering himself or other passengers. Either way – banning children or shoving them into a separate area could very well spell disaster.

  • Ben

    The comments from parents and the “pro-baby” set are quite honestly some of the most selfish and pathetic attempts at justification I have seen in a long while. I don’t have time to address them all, but here are a few:

    1) “I purchased a ticket for my child” – yes, and that ticket is not a permission slip for annoying behavior. With each ticket comes the expectation that you (or your child) will be treated fairly, as well as the duty to treat others in the same regard (this includes, but is not limited to, not kicking, screaming, pulling hair, punching, running through the aisles, throwing up, changing diapers in the seat, etc).

    2)”Adults misbehave too” – 100% true. But so what. The absurdity of this argument should be obvious, but evidently it isn’t as several people used it. One person’s rude behavior DOES NOT valid another’s. (ie. “but, but….he did it too!!!!!)

    3)”It’s only a few hours, it’ll be over soon” – I almost choked when I read that one. Sure, it’s no problem that your kid just kicked my chair and screamed in my ear for 3 hours….as long as I can come over to your house and do that to you for the next 3. I mean, come on, it’s only a few hours……

    Look, of course we should all have some level of tolerance and understanding …but that’s a two-way street. And the blatant disregard that many parents show for the experience of other passengers is disturbing and won’t win any fans or sympathy.

  • Al

    I fly over 100,000 miles a year. While screaming babies are never a pleasant thing to endure, Bose headphones help a great deal, and quite frankly, babies are too young to reason with.

    Misbehaving children (seat thumpers, those who incessantly raise and lower their serving trays, etcetera) are best dealt with by pressing the flight attendant call button
    and calmly stating the problem to them. They usually do their best to either resolve the problem or find me another seat.

    It all comes down to good manners, and how parents educate their children to behave in public.

  • Craig

    :)

  • http://www.claws-and-paws.com/ Douglas Muth

    I think airlines need to provide free Valium for kids under the age of 10. :-)

  • http://www.amazing-bargains.com Michael Coley

    We frequently travel with our children (currently 4 and 2). Just this year, our kids have gone with us on trips to San Francisco, Las Vegas, New York, St. Louis, Chicago, Tennessee, and Orlando. My 4-year old son has probably racked up more miles in First Class than most adults. We frequently have other passengers comment on how well they behave.

    With babies (around 1 or younger), it’s important to realize that they don’t know how to equalize the pressure in their ears. Nursing them, giving them a bottle, or letting them suck on some candy during ascent and descent can help. Yawning or chewing gum can help with toddlers. I’ve been on numerous flights where babies are screaming during or after ascent, and I’ve been surprised that flight attendants don’t pass this tip on to the parents.

    Every kid is different, but almost any kid can be entertained or kept still for a couple hours. With some (not ours), they will nap on a flight. With others (like ours), they can easily be kept busy for a couple hours watching a movie. With some, they’ll be happy playing games. Some will require a variety of things to keep them busy.

    Kids don’t have to be disruptive on airplanes, and most of them aren’t.

  • jim

    I can understand the crying of infants. What is THE MOST ANNOYING are the continual shreiks that come from toddlers–for no apparent reason other than they have just realized that they can make the noise. Parents need to stop that shreiking!

    No one under 12 should be allowed in first class at any time! Make people with children sit in the very last rows amidst the hum of the engines and the flushing of the toilets.

    Parents need to run their kids and prevent sleeping prior to flights so that children are asleep during a flight….or just give them REAL GOOD DRUGS!

  • http://www.anthrocon.org Samuel Conway

    Whereas I often daydream about child-free airline flights, in reality I do not think it is practical. It’s not reasonable to expect a family to drive 3000 miles to vist dear Aunt Martha for Thanksgiving.

    I have been paying attention of late to the children around me on aircraft — and there are many — and I have noticed that the percentage of children who cause distress to other passengers is surprisingly low. It is very easy to hold one’s fingers in one’s ears and grumble about banning kids from airplanes when a two-year-old is shrieking four rows away, but in that circumstance we often overlook the fact that there are fifteen other young children on the same flight who somehow manage to avoid wreaking havoc.

    I began this little observational experiment on a particular flight when I found myself seated in the first class cabin across the aisle from a very chatty little girl that I took to be barely three. “Oh, Lord,” I groaned. “I’ll have to restrain the Fist of Death for the next six hours.” When the plane took off, though, she settled down and amused herself with her dolly and her coloring book. Behind us, however, some urchin began to wail and complain in sufficiently intelligible language to assure me that it was beyond infancy. After a while the little girl near me sighed in exasperation, dropped her coloring book in her lap, turned toward me and like a seasoned business traveller she groaned, “Oh, I wish someone would make him be quiet!”

    No, I would never imagine asking this delightful little lady not to travel with me.

    That said, for the sake of helping my fellow travellers place the issue into perspective, allow me to submit that this minority of annoying children fall into what I perceive to be three categories:

    1) The infant in pain from the pressure changes. For these I have great sympathy and I tolerate — if grudgingly at times — the noise, knowing that the poor little things are suffering more than I am.

    2) The noisy child whose parent is making an effort to silence. At these I grit my teeth and repeat to myself, “At least Mom (or Dad) is trying, and may hopefully succeed before we reach Seattle.”

    3) The noisy child of whom the parent is blissfully unaware. These deserve a slap, though the law sadly forbids — and the parents, I mean, not the children. Particularly when the child has reached the age of reason, I feel it quite justified for the flight crew to intervene, up to and including removal of the offending parties from the airplane (preferably while at cruising altitude).

    In sum: I feel that it would be wrong to ban an entire class of people from air travel for the unfortunate behavior of an unruly few, who would be better dealt with individually by flight attendants unafraid to enforce the same rules that govern unruly adults.

  • sft

    I have to say that I am in complete agreement with these complaints. And, while we’re fixing problems, I also feel that people with long legs should be ferried off to separate flights as their legs are always protruding into my space. And those that are overweight as well; even when their bulk does not actually overcome the meager dividers between us, I always fear it might. And people who fall asleep and snore. Off the plane with them! Not to mention snotty business executives who seem to feel that a sneer and a cranky attitude suffices for the fact that they have not been able to finagle a business class ticket. Oh yea, and those people who insist on laughing at the movie that I’m not watching. That really gets my goat. But the people who have the non-stop urge to visit the toilet, they are really the ones who deserve to be on a special toilet flight. Oh, and……… My, how the list does go on and on in the land of the tolerant.

  • Jan

    My grandaughter is only 3 but amazed me on a recent flight from USA to Thailand.
    We travelled Business Class and of course she had her own seat and was just excellent as her parents have taught her. From 6 months she has flown frequently and many trips over 12 hours, they have “Flight Rules”. You have to remain strapped in to your seat. And that is that, no deviations except to get into PJ’s and dressed in the am again.
    This is talked about well ahead of the flight, what the “Flight Rules Are” You use an indoor voice, you cannot run around etc. Yes this child did get ear trouble with the pressure on one flight and the Hostess quickly got water once it was requested, no screaming. Yes she can have tantrums like any other toddler but they are not included in Flight Rules.
    Parents have a responsibility to take along some new and old toys, favourite animals etc to keep the child amused. The planes help on long flights having children channels on their T.V.’s. Most families have DVD’s, bring it along if you expect no T.V.
    I can’t believe that some of you are down on the children, you were children yourselves at one time and people have to travel with their families, learn some tolerance and parents start training your children from babies.

  • Anippy

    I’ve had an equal number of bad experiences with children and with adults on planes. There was the “lap baby” that was clearly well over two years old that stood in his mother’s lap behind my seat and continually pulled on my seatback (ocassionally catching my hair). There was the college-aged dude with the earphones turned on so loud I could understand every lyric from across the aisle. On a supposedly adults-only champagne flight to a Sandals resort, the baby behind me who had a nasty stinky diaper that the mother did not bother to change the whole 5+ hour flight. Another dude with headphones that reclined his seat all the way into my lap and then proceeded to bounce and gyrate with his music. I could go on…but I would probably run out of space. I think it comes down to this: airplanes are too small with too many people crammed into them. Everyone violates everyone else’s personal space (whether intentionally or not) and it makes for a hostile environment no matter who is on board.

  • DIANE W

    Children just do what children do in many cases regardless of where they are at. While working years in the ER we used to have a saying about children that the parents did not make behave, it was “The first one you want to slap are the parents.” This seems to hold true to most places you see children misbehaving though….And as far as grandparents letting their grandchildren misbehave, I can tell you that I hold my grandchildren to the same behavior patterns as I did my own children.

  • http://www.childofleisure.com Leian

    I agree with Samuel Conway. As the parent of a toddler and a 3-month old and a blogger on luxury travel with children, I think it is downright insensitive that most people are so selfish as to think that all noise-making children are just nuisances to be avoided, or that parents should just STOP TRAVELING. On the other hand, I think it has come to this point precisely because there are so many parents out there that gleefully allow children who are old enough to know better to run rampant on planes and in terminals. If they would do a better job of training their children, people might find less reason to wish to ban them altogether.

    My children have both traveled, my 3-year old quite a bit. When she was an infant, I made sure to have something at the ready so that she was sucking (and therefore equalizing the pressure in her ears) when the plane descended. As she got older we traveled with quiet toys and books, even my iPod, to occupy her. We made her understand that kicking the chair in front of her, or standing in her seat to stare at the person behind her, were not allowed. With one exception, we have been complimented on her behavior on every flight. The one exception was when she was 9 months and my attempts to help her ears was to no avail. The dark looks I got from passengers was rude and insensitive, and did nothing to help the situation.

    I have been quick to point out to people who mention with such relief that I have a “good baby”, that there is no “bad” baby. Parents should prepare as much as they can but people need to understand that this is not a misbehaving child. But they should also do far more to teach older children how to be considerate. I agree with other posters that inconsiderate behavior is not limited to children: adults abound in this category too, but they can’t be banned. Banning families is not the answer.

  • http://www.realbeer.com Tom Ciccateri

    I just survived a 9 hour transatlantic flight with two “lap children” within three seats. Remember the day when airlines but families with screaming kids up front so you could avoid them by sitting at the rear? No longer.

    More frustrating than the lack of responsibility of parents who allow their brood to disturb paying passengers (the kids are not paying) is the lack of facility through the airlines for passengers to avoid these potential disturbances through advance planning. We can’t plan to avoid these high-risk travelers even if we want to, of course Business Class and First Class works for some). Oblivious and irresponsible parents are a fact of life and for-profit businesses will never forgo that market segment no matter how tiny, and politically-correct legislators will never allow legal discrimination against this vocal (literally) minority. Market pressure from the vast majority of paying customers like those contributing here might have the economic power to force airlines to create an acceptable solution for the majority of travelers. First we have to recognize that you will never please everyone, then we could define what is “reasonable”. After that, I think we could see positive change to meet a reasonable standard of performance from our public carriers.

  • laura

    I have an almost-three year old who has been flying since he was 11 weeks old. (Went to Vegas against the advice of the over-inprotective pediatrician. Kid was fine, triip was great, he slept through both flights). It is not realistic to either ban kids from flights (there are some very practical and important reasons for them to fly) nor require specific child v. non child flights. The latter option only gives the greedy airline industry another opportunity to impose a surcharge. A special section has its advantages, but also might be unrealistic as it would force airlines to reconfigure cabins for a client type phenonmenon that is unreliable and inconsistent.

    A better solution might to be to codify the rights and responsiblities of airline employees in responding to child-oriented complaints and then to do likewise for parents travelling with children. Although small spaces can by trying and magnifying, in my experience the airline environment only mirrors the same behaviours a child would display anywhere else, and they are the result or either good or bad parenting.

    If airlines can spell out the protocols for responding to passenger complaints that involve kids (flight attendant has ability to move children, deny boarding on next flight, etc.) the parents that aren’t good airline nieghbors normally might get nervous enough to try to contain their kid.

    All in all though, most of the kids I see, good or bad, don’t represent a significantly larger population or ratio than the adults who are unruly, inconsiderate, etc. I usually console myself with the fact that very young children do not comprehend that they are being obnoxious, but the loud 40 year old that brought 3 roller bags and just pushed his seat back into my lap, does. He/she just doesn’t care.

  • YA

    This does not go far enough. We should ban all slices of society who bother me: people who sweat, cough, smell bad, or snore.

    However, I realize that’s unfortunately too much to ask, so here is my list beside babies:
    - fat people, they take too much room.
    - old people, they’re too slow boarding and getting out.

    It’s funny that people would get mad a kids or their families, when the real culprit here is the airline who doesn’t care enough about passenger comfort. Divide and conquer I guess.

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