The thought of spending 11 hours in a locked and upright position didn’t put Elyse Weiner in a good mood. But you wouldn’t have known it.
“I was leaving Venice for New York and found that my airline seat was broken,” recalls Weiner, who runs a Manhattan-based podcasting company. “I explained my problem to the flight attendant, but he became angrier and angrier, yelling that ‘nowhere in your agreement with our airline does it say you get to have a seat that works.’ ”
As the crewmember grew more agitated, Weiner had the opposite reaction: She turned nice.
Extra nice.
“I stayed calm and smiled,” she remembers. She also offered to pay for a better seat by redeeming frequent flier miles.
It worked. After the confrontation, another flight attendant quietly moved her to business class. No extra charge.
At a time when pleasantness and politeness seem to be in such short supply in the travel business, being nice can take you a long way.
I should know. A few weeks ago, I arrived at Chicago’s O’Hare airport a little early and vaulted to the top of the standby list on a flight to Orlando by being extra polite to the gate agent and cracking a joke. I still can’t believe it.
That got me thinking: Is politeness a new form of currency in the travel world? Could a smile or an act of kindness be more effective in getting preferential treatment than elite-level status or the amount of money you paid for your airline ticket, rental car or hotel room?
I can almost hear some of the elite travelers out there snorting with disdain. No, you’re probably saying to yourselves, we deserve to be treated better than the tourists, no matter how we behave. But the rest of you know I’m on to something.
Question is, how do you get what you want by being nice? I asked travelers and the folks behind the counter to share their tips. Here’s what they told me:
1. Remain calm.
When a flight is delayed or a hotel loses your reservation, no one can blame you for losing your cool. But don’t, say people in the know. Try going the other way. Don Schmincke, a writer and professional speaker, recalls an overseas flight on which he and his partner received seat assignments that weren’t together, making it impossible to get any work done. “Typical response: start yelling,” he says. His response? Calmly and politely express concern to the gate agent. “She said ‘just get your boarding pass and I’ll meet you at the gate,’ ” he remembers. “She showed up at the gate with two side-by-side seats — in first class.” Somehow, I think a scolding wouldn’t have gotten him the same seats.
2. Find the silver lining.
It’s there. Sometimes you have to look for it. Jennifer Walsh finds that a favorable comment about a ticket agent’s outfit or jewelry will, at the very least, elicit a smile and a “thank you.” And that’s a good start. Just last week she was trying to get a seat on an early flight from New York to Florida, which was jam-packed with passengers. A gate agent held the power over her plans. “I complimented her on her outfit and asked her how her week was,” she says. (A kind word about your appearance means a lot coming from Walsh: She’s a nationally known beauty consultant.) Needless to say, she made the flight.
3. Compare and contrast.
Problem customers are plentiful. Sometimes, all you have to do is point out that you aren’t one of those people to get your way. For example, when Dan Lovejoy checked into an upscale hotel in Boston that was being renovated, he overheard another guest making a series of requests, “not rudely, but pretty demanding,” he says. She was given the key to a room in the older part of the hotel. “When the clerk asked me my preferences, I said, ‘I’m traveling alone for a conference. I don’t have any special needs — just put me wherever,’ ” he recalls. “When she handed me my key, she said, ‘I’ve put you in a newly-renovated room. We like to be nice to people who aren’t difficult.’ ”
4. Show a little empathy.
Think about the employees. When you’re likely to need a favor (like, when a flight is canceled or a hotel is overbooked) imagine what a terrible day they’re having. How about letting them know that you feel for them? Lynne Lambert, who owns an apparel business in Chappaqua, N.Y., remembers a recent canceled flight where “every passenger was trying to rebook a different flight.” She approached a ticket agent, and instead of making demands, she started the conversation with, “You must be having a rough day.” (Note: it’s important not to sound patronizing when you do this. Either be genuine or don’t say anything.) It worked for Lambert. “I got on the standby list and flew out on the last flight of the night,” she remembers.
5. Flatter ’em.
It will get you everywhere. Well, almost everywhere. Employees respond well to “attaboys” because at some travel companies, praise is dished out sparingly. Author Barry Maher says he goes out of his way to tell a ticket agent or hotel worker when they’re doing good work. “I’ll say something like ‘Wow, I can’t believe what a great job you’re doing handling this. You’re really exceptional at what you do,’ ” he says. “Guess who’s most likely to get the next available seat, fairly frequently in first class?”
6. Be a volunteer.
Being nice to other travelers can get you ahead. In researching this story, I found plenty of examples of passengers who agreed to move to accommodate other travelers who wanted to sit together, or yielded to someone with a disability who needed their seat, and that often led to preferential treatment by the crew, which noted the sacrifice. “The passenger who is willing to wait for the next flight and give up their seat is more likely to get the business class seat on the next flight,” says Natalie Hjelsvold, a flight attendant for a Canadian airline. “They are given a future travel credit along with a seat that would have cost them hundreds of dollars more — just for being nice.”
Ready to go out there and charm the socks off the travel industry?
Not so fast. Remember, you’re dealing with people who are in the business of dealing with people. They can spot a fake, so they’ll be able to sniff out any insincerity immediately.
So be genuine.
You’d think that rude behavior would get you absolutely nowhere when you travel, but that wouldn’t be entirely accurate, either.
That’s a topic for next week’s column.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Take a DEEP breath and be nice to the people. It’s harder and harder these days with airlines nickel and dimeing you but you’ve got the remember the potential benefits of doing so.
Anyway, getting upset is not going to change whatever situation you’re in.
Being nice to people should not be an exception…. it should be a RULE of living. Either way remain calm is the best procedure always passenger or employee.
No one wants to deal with a damanding or rude costomer, it doesnt matter whether its at a restaurant, fast food joint, airplane or w/e. No one wants to deal with that.
Its why I work extra hard to keep my cool no matter how bad the service. That way, at best another employee will see the bad service and take over, and at worst, i get to leave without an employee freakout.
I don’t work for the travel industry, but I have worked in Customer Service for a long time, which I have seen every extreme. My advice to anyone, is if things are going wrong take a deep breath and put on a smile, it will usually help you out in the long run. Happen to me with a Hotel I went to this summer. Felt Sorry for the poor kid actually. The reservation system was having some “issues” and it was taking a long time to check people in and get the people settled. Standing in line you would hear people grumble and complain, and I’d bet good money that the poor kid at the desk was getting it from people. When I got to the desk the kid already had “I’m terrible sorry” speech pretty well prepared. I think I through him off when I told don’t worry and take his time, we had a good conversation while he managed to get my reservation. In the End I got and nicely upgraded room that I never asked for, and wasn’t expecting. Treat people Nice and fairly especially when things are going wrong and sometime good things can happen.
I’ve found I can’t control what happens to me but, I can control how I react to the situation. It really is difficult sometimes – but being nice does work wonders.
I will keep this advice in mind next time I’m travelling.
Usually I’m afraid I’m not being assertive enough, but that’s actually not contradictory. You need to ask for what you want, just do it politely.
A friend of mine used to be a gate agent for a major US airline and told me about a passenger that had a fit when he got to his aisle seat on a crowded international flight and found another passenger sitting in his seat. Both passengers had boarding passes for the same seat and so the flight attendant called my friend to come on board and sort out the situation.
The man told my friend that he had reserved “that” specific seat a long time ago and that he refused to seat elsewhere. My friend apologized to the angry man, and then asked the elderly lady if she wouldn’t mind moving her seat since the “gentleman” had reserved the seat so long ago. The lady gathered her belongings and asked my friend where she was going to sit. My friend told the lady that since it was a very full flight and no more seats were available in economy; she was going to have to move her up to business class. She did this very graciously, but all within earshot of the belligerant man who was getting his economy seat back. I recall that she said he then spoke up to “volunteer” for that seat change which my friend politely declined to give him since he had insisted on his original seat assignment which he received.
I like to think he may have been nicer to people in front line customer service after that.
I work for author, speaker, Barry Maher, http://www.barrymaher.com, quoted here. I just want to point out that Barry is always someone who goes out of his way to be nice to people and finds some specific, honest way to sincerely compliment them. One thing I learned from working with him is that it really doesn’t take much effort to find something worthy of praise in almost everyone. For more on Barry visit http://www.barrymaher.com.
Chris (Elliott), GREAT article…
I have been on the receiving end of numerous upgrades and perks for doing nothing else than just being patient and understanding. Just last month, I was checking into a luxury hotel in Atlanta. There was a bit of a line and I was the last person in line. When I got to the check-in counter, the front desk clerk was immediately pulled away by another front desk clerk. I told them to go ahead and tend to that business, I wasn’t in a hurry. Yes, it took an extra 5 minutes to check in, but it turns out (unknown to me) that the front desk clerk was the front desk supervisor, and the gave my wife and I a very special complementary upgrade.
I’m far from perfect, and have had my meltdowns. I’m not proud of those instances. Also, being nice also does not GUARANTEE you any preferrential treatment or upgrades. But, smiling and being pleasant always helps make someone else’s day easier, and trust me, their job isn’t easy!
I addition to being kind to travel personnel, make sure you have all your paperwork (passports, id, boarding pass, confirmation #) ready to hand them when asked. Be focused on their questions and answer them promptly so as not to delay the line.
When queues are long, sometimes it’s good to just be processed as fast as possible, for the sake of others. When there are 50 travelers behind you at the check-in queue, make quick and precise “small talk” with the airline agent, if at all. Don’t delay the queue wait any longer then it needs to be.
When the lines are thinned out, then dial up the charm!
Just last June, I was on my way to a convention when I found myself on a cancelled flight with a waitlist a mile long. I got to the counter, and asked very nicely if there was any way at all to get on the next flight, even volunteering to take a middle seat. I explained that it was my birthday, and I just wanted to get to Disneyland to ride a roller coaster for my birthday (I’m not a young thing, so this sounds a bit daring for me). The woman fell over backwards accommodating me and put me in first class! She even went into the plane and told the flight attendants to take care of me for my birthday, to which they brought me extra dessert – it won my business with the airline…
as a former airline ticket/gate agent..i always bring treats… a candy bar for check in or at the gate, whoever seems particularly nice or helpful i offer a “treat for your coffee break”. i bring enough for the ramp agent who hangs around the gate and also the flight attendants…works like a charm
I recently had the pleasure of flying on Spirit air from ACY to MCO and back. I’m a heavy guy so I book an isle seat so I can try and sit away from my seatmate (I don’t spill over the armrest)
Both flights were very full but as soon as the gate attendants came to their location I said that I understand the plane is very full but if there are any rows with an empty middle seat can I be moved. Both times I was moved to a window seat and seemed to have the only empty seatr on the flight next to me.