Meeting Mr. Hyena

Air travel is the ultimate networking opportunity. I’ve met some of my best clients next to a security checkpoint, at the gate or on the plane.

The circumstances are not always ideal (after all, it is air travel). But some are less ideal than others. A case in point is the business contact I made as a result of flying with an inebriated passenger.

I think everyone who travels frequently can tell a story about a passenger who has had one too many. Mine probably tops them all.

On a flight from Dallas to Newark a few years ago, he stumbled aboard. Happy hour had started a little early for him; he smelled like a bottle of cheap whiskey. And where did he sit? Directly behind me.

“Fly often?” he slurred.

Mother always told me to be polite to everyone.

“Yes,” I nodded. I looked back at a hyena-like grin, caught another whiff of his spirit, and had to turn away.

My seatmate gave me a “this is going to be a bumpy flight” look as the intoxicated passenger continued to order drinks. The flight attendants obliged, even though it was soon obvious to everyone that he was drunk.

Once the plane had leveled off at cruising altitude, the happy passenger put his foot on my armrest. I turned around and said, “Excuse me.” He laughed that hyena laugh again. Then he walked around to my seat, got on his knees and tried to shake my hand.

At this point, I thought I should just ignore him. But that turned out to be an unwise move, because a silly drunk can easily turn into an angry drunk.

Which is exactly what happened. In a split second, his face contorted with rage, and he rolled his extended hand into a fist. He lifted his arm backward, like a baseball player winding up to make a pitch, and then struck me in the arm between shoulder and elbow. It was a searing pain that reminded me of a car accident I’d been in a few years ago.

I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to do. So I screamed.

One passenger across the aisle jumped up and said, “She’s innocent! He attacked her.” My seatmate added, “I’m a lawyer and I saw it all.”

My attacker didn’t even pause to realize what he had done to me. He just kept laughing. A flight attendant somehow managed to sedate my assailant with a sleeping pill, which left him giggling for the duration of the flight. Then, the co-pilot came over to reassure me and to let me know that the authorities would meet us at the gate after we landed.

Fortunately, I wasn’t seriously injured. The assault left me with a painful bruise and with my nerves rattled, but otherwise, I was fine. The two other passengers who had rushed to my defense began commiserating with me, and one thing led to another. We decided to share a cab into the city, and I started to think, “Hey, I thought it would fun to stay in touch with these guys. After all, they had shared my life-threatening event.”

My flight from hell led to some stellar connections. My former seatmate introduced me to a friend of his who is a vice president for an advertising firm, which ended up becoming a five-figure client.

As for the obnoxious hyena — well, that’s one networking opportunity I passed on.

Andrea Nierenberg is president of the Nierenberg Group, a consulting firm.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

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