What the #&%@$ is an ultra low cost carrier?

Largely overlooked in Spirit Airways’ decision to go RyanAir — and can anyone blame the mainstream media for being fixated on its announcement to start charging customers for checked luggage and soft drinks? — is this whole business about becoming an “ultra low cost carrier.”

What the #&%@$ is an ultra low cost carrier?

Ben Baldanza, Spirit’s chief executive and president, helpfully defines it as a “revolutionary” model driven by “high utilization and overall efficiency.”

But can’t the same thing be said of just about any business?

Spirit’s press release, which cleverly sugarcoats the airline’s desire to charge customers for anything that isn’t bolted down, is equally useful in defining an ultra low cost carrier.

Among the “product features” it lists are low fares, online check-in, clean planes and a friendly staff.

Apart from the friendly staff, it could be describing any airline.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Spirit Air, and I’ve written as much in the past.

But I don’t think much of its revolutionary plan to “lower” fares in exchange for unbundling services such as checked luggage and drinks, and neither do the bloggers who have weighed in on it so far.

I wonder how long will it take for Spirit’s ultra low fares to creep back up to where their competitors’ prices are. And then RyanAir … er, I mean, Spirit’s customers will be left with fewer amenities and services at the same price.

I applaud Spirit for spinning its RyanAirization with a smartly-worded press release. But in the final analysis, I think “ultra low cost” airline is a euphemism for nickeling and diming your customers — an ill-advised marketing gimmick that smart consumers will see through.

Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

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