You remind me of an old saying around my house. The only crazy people are the ones who think they’re sane. People who think they’re crazy rarely are. Same thing holds about those people who think they’re pretty.

Cry me a river.

Never mind malfeasance. Never mind immorality. If those factual assessments are correct at minimum, then that should be attempted freaking murder.

What is WRONG with the non-prosecutorial milque-toasts, who blog on-line and refuse to find fault with Southwest? When did standing up for the individual rights, dignity, and safety of citizens become so politically incorrect to them?

Oh yeah. I forgot. They are all Southwest employees, who, like their “Blogger Queen” compadre Paula Berg, were told or already expected by their ghoulish corporate employer to hit the blogosphere hard this past few days – to try to spin this horrific story to read as if there were never any safety problems that threatened the public – to fool the public, with blogging. Well, Southwest-“anonymous”-posters, YOU are the fools for thinking it wasn’t obvious to the rest of us. YOU are the reason that the laws governing perjury, exist. And as soon as ANY of you hack-corporate sycophants have the courage to identify yourselves by your full legal name and residence address, as well as your Southwest affiliation, then I expect that myself and a few friends will collaborate to give you a REAL working demonstration of how the perjury laws of the United States will further deflate your stupid Southwest publicity balloon FAST. It would be a distinct pleasure to bankrupt your morally-bereft airline, and I would do it just for the collar.

One pro-Southwest blogger suggested that the fault is not in our stars but in ourselves – that’s right – the same FAA “blame the victim” “strategy”. He suggested, how dare we criticize Southwest, when some of us are not the best drivers in the world. Of course, I don’t take hundreds of lives up in a jet-fueled airplane, and take money for doing it, most days of my life, or any days of my life. So the comparison with any of us drivers on an individual level, is a foolish one. But the blogger was correct about this much. Everyone, on an individual level, should take personal responsibility, not merely diffuse corporate responsibility, for ensuring the safety and well-being of others, especially the safety and well-being of youngsters on the road or in the skies. That soccer mom in the Windstar on her cell phone with no headphone, those two goombahs drag-racing through populated areas – they are all as accountable as a publicist who shills in cover-up of corporate malfeasance, or a federal “official” who looks the other way and takes the check. I am going to have an easier time popping those in the latter two categories, though, as they tend to leave paper trails.

Southwest’s next publicity “strategy”, its new brainstorm of spin-control, was the “Oh, you don’t know all the facts” strategy. “Wait for the facts to come out”. Memo to dutiful-tool-employees: EVERY TIME someone cites the authoritative representations made by a United States Congressman who chairs the Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure, and whose Committee has been investigating Southwest and the FAA since the relevant events occurred in 2006-2007, just tell the people that, “Oh, no, YOU don’t have all the facts. Don’t go judging lest not ye be judged, ‘cause YOU don’t have all the facts”.

That’s funny. It’s also freaking moronic.

Southwest and FAA’s actions have been the subject of an ongoing Congressional investigation dating back to 2007 or perhaps even as early as 2006. More than enough facts came out through Saturday March 8, 2008, including during the videotaped and audiotaped Representative James Oberstar press conference now available on:
http://www.cspan.org
to make the judgment on Southwest very, very clear. In fact, I have never heard any government official being more precise or more specific about allegations against a malevolent private sector entity, ever before, than Congressman Oberstar in that videotaped and audiotaped press conference. Southwest would prefer that you never, ever watch that Oberstar press conference. That of course means, I trust, it will shortly find its way to:
http://www.youtube.com

I weighed the events of the weekend carefully. Then, I realized – Representative Oberstar’s leadership on the Southwest Airlines debacle issue, as well as the unabashed past publicity balloons of Southwest’s “Blog Queen” Paula Berg which I read and laughed about, inspired me to myself register a new blog of my own this past weekend. You will find this new blog at:

http:/SouthwestAirlinesAlmostKilledYou.blogspot.com/

* * * * *

I read some pretty funny other posts by Southwest employees using fake names, this past weekend, too. I loved it when I read that one poster thought Representative Oberstar should “defer” to the FAA and Southwest on this issue because, after all, they are the “experts” in aviation. That would be like “deferring” to your kidnap-captors because, after all, they are the “experts” in “captivity” – or like “deferring” to your executioner because, after all, he is the “expert” in “life and death matters”.

Funny, funny stuff. It would be hysterical if it weren’t so transparent, and so malevolent. My advice to Southwest is, the next time you hire employees to blog for you en masse in time of crisis, at least make sure that they are decent writers, and at least make sure that you spend the money to give them good enough word-processors that contain spell-checking software. Seriously.

Mainly though, every time you read an anonymous post or blog on the topic of Southwest’s cracked planes and the investigation and scandal which has followed it, from this point forward – or a rarer post for which Southwest actually takes credit, if you can locate one – just please remember: in the words of the late Frank DeKova’s character Chief Wild Eagle, on the 1960’s television program “F Troop”:

“It is BALLOON!!!”

“It is BALLOON!!!!!”

Pop.

http://www.blogsouthwest.com/2007/06/15/behind-the-scenes-blog-queen/

Now, never mind “wacky”, and “off-the-wall” – “behind-the-scenes Blog Queen” and “Nuts about Southwest” say it all for me.

So, to Paula Berg of Southwest Airlines, the airline company’s “behind-the-scenes Blog Queen”, who says, regarding the events of March 6-7, 2008, and the now-record US$10,200,000 in fines racked up by Southwest:

“…this situation was never and is not now a safety of flight issue”.
Nonsense, Paula. Cracks in airplanes? Nonsense, Paula.

I’ve been around publicists and other entertainment folk for over 20 years, and I have heard better publicity emanating from self-plugging screenwriters on acid.

And, Paula, as for:

“[t]he FAA approved our actions and considered the matter closed as of April 2007″.

Nonsense, Paula.

It’s not “closed”, until WE the PUBLIC say it is closed! Take that back to your superiors for me – and tell them that we are just getting started.

Oh – and, congratulations on staying behind the scenes.

John J. Tormey III, Esq.
Quiet Rockland

By the way, why did MSNBC report it as them being “kicked off the flight” when they were flying from Tampa to Los Angeles and Los Angeles was their destination ? I mean, did Southwest kick them off while they were 50,000 feet over Kansas or something ? Come on MSNBC, get with it!

Oh, and as for the MySpace page – what a slut. Too pretty for Southwest, indeed!

Jenny, I hope your looks last a long time. You claim to be well-spoken, but your grammar, spelling and writing skills are not likely to get you very far. (alot? esp? gorgoes? soo discrimated? financial strategic?) Please don’t let the modeling paychecks stop you from finishing high school. Your modesty and humility amaze me.

It’s a shame when people can’t see past themselves.

Good luck to all.

As far as the derogitory remark by the gentlemen, he too should be banned from flying SWA. Neither is above the law and flight attendants take enough crap from passengers already. You fly SWA because the fares are cheap. If you want service, pay for it by flying a major carrier in 1st Class. Otherwise, stay out of the skies. And by the way, the rest of us are trying to get to our desitination in one piece with a little bit of quiet. I’m glad I wasn’t on board as I might have said too much to both “girls” and regretted it.