1. All passengers must board naked.
2. All passengers must have ankles and wrist bound.
3. All passengers must be anally probed and cleared.
4. All women must be vaginally probed and cleared.
5. All children’s mouths must be taped shut.
6. No luggage allowed. ( buy your needed items in Wal-mart’s terminal shop).

I want to fly safer and I will submit to anything for the price of safety!

There are people out there that enjoy the power of saying to a complete stranger, “Would you take off those black patent leather pumps with the red bow, I want to ‘inspect’ them. You say, “Oh the ones that just about cover my feet because 90 per cent of the shoe is the strap?’
“Yes” they say, I want to see if there’s anything hidden between the shoe and your foot that could be used as a weapon.”
You’re thinking, “Sure, that would be the odor because I’ve been standing in line for an hour and a half.”
Because of ease of booking, many travelers have used the internet and marginalized the travel agency business.
How can we help this industry and improve health care before the politicians make more of a mess than they already have? It’s only a tiny leap of faith to let travel agencies sell limited health policies.
The best part of this plan is that it includes some vacation destination travel as well because travel agencies already have a strategic alliance with your local airport and here’s how it works.

Some airports are testing security X-ray equipment that performs full body and CT scans of all passengers. The lines may be longer, but the flip side of this exercise is that a valuable medical function could be performed with just a little boost in power. These full body scans can see metal objects under clothes, so let’s juice up the current and look a little deeper. How easy would it be to cross train the TSA personnel as EMT’s! They’re going to pat down a certain number of passengers anyway, so don’t be alarmed if they pat your back and ask you to cough at the same time. Waiting in line at the airport is a lot shorter that waiting in the doctor’s office and there’s less coughing and hacking.

Passenger/patients who don’t have decent medical insurance need only buy a ticket to Orlando for $69 and get a full body medical scan worth hundreds of dollars for free.
The airlines don’t care where you go as long as you’re properly screened. They just add a printer to the unit and bingo, extra revenue for the airlines and an inexpensive medical scan for you.
Just stick your head in the machine and get a full set of uppers and lowers instead of paying $75 for an x-ray at your dental office.
Airports across the country are testing a range of other equipment. Some airports do facial scanning. If something can be scanned, it can be printed. Simply increase the power of the machine, print on high gloss paper and get a full set of wallet size and an 8 by 10 for the mantel.

Think of it, frequent flier miles, and a full set of wallet size pictures for the family.
Now if we can only work on the cavity search.

I suppose someone will suggest that all those people out there who suffer from some form of bowel or urinary incontinence just shouldn’t fly. If you feel that way, then please promote high-speed rail. Because unfortunately, not flying is often just not an option in this country.

Moreover, duty-free shopping (after security) is not allowed within 1 hour of departure. I.e. I tried to buy a bottle of Whiskey but was prohibited as it was too close to departure (really weird rule!).

But blocking moving maps is ridiculous. What harm can it do? Anyone with little brain can still figure out where the flight is. And it is technically quite difficult for the airlines to reconfigure flights going to US not showing moving maps. What about cameras showing the ground?

US being the most free country in the world?! Ha, dream on. I hate going to US and it just becomes worse. You guys do not want us to come (I am a Swede living in China).

I flew last Sunday on Contenental, absolutely atrocious conditions for a 2-leg from Indianapolis/Houston to Houston/San Diego. I was nearly stripped at security (in public), then I got leered at when I wouldn’t take off everything but a tiny under-tank for the security guard (it snowed 4 inches, it was long underwear!!!). I get shushed through, only to be pointed to the side, where he wants to send me through the body scanning machine. I told him “I’d rather not go through that machine,” and I got a look of the Devil. He called for a (much more polite) woman to pat me down. (So its either strip naked or get scanned naked? When does the anal search begin?)

Through security, we found our plane delayed NOT to weather, but to maintanence. We waited for FIVE HOURS, because so many flights have been cut there were no other options. We got to Houston 6 hours late, and even with guaranteed tickets on a (now long missed) Contenental flight, we were put on standby… missed 3 FULL flights… and finally caught the very last flight possible to San Diego. On both flights we were “taken hostage” the last hour of the flight. A flight attendant even threatened to take away my book. A BOOK. Whats worse is I think they made the seats smaller, there was no physical way NOT to elbow our neighbors, or them us. I spent the entire two flights leaning into the aisle and getting poked by the attendants.

NONE of this makes us any safer. Its new accosting after new accosting of INNOCENT citizens. I will *NOT* strip naked, I will *NOT* be treated like a terrorist, and I shouldn’t *HAVE* to to fly. We have to do all this nonsense that does nothing to make us safer, but they didn’t even warn US pilots in the air that a bombing had almost happened. They want us body-cavity searched, but the US doesn’t even scan its checked baggage!

There are real ways to make us safer, and this sideshow isn’t it.

There is a simple way to END much of the threat. Civilized countries should STOP accepting flights from non-secure nations. (Nigeria’s idea of security is a bribe!) The moment a country is cut off from the civilized world, it is inherently isolated. Ever seen a suicide bomber from North Korea? NO, because its isolated (by its own means, but the point is valid). Countries will either become secure to regain flight access to the rest of the world, or they will degenerate further on their own, all the while our risk from them is minimized.

Combine this with scanning ALL bags, checked and carry-on.
Use microbe detectors on all bags and people (its non-invasive).
Use intelligence to deny threats boarding rights (the CIA had been warned about this Nigerian by his own father months ago).
Use common sense and a dash of intelligent profiling (the 82 year old white grandma with a bag, or a black guy with no luggage… which is a threat).

And don’t give me that “they’d strap a bomb to grandma” nonsense, because that only happens in non-secure nations/airports. It has NOT ONCE happened at a US airport, thanks to the little security that actually works. Moderate profiling is a tool, not a weapon against justice. We’re so P.C. anymore we can’t think straight.

The TSA is talking about putting “visual scanners” in its airports to catch “nervous” people. If they think me not having a book for an hour is a “safety precaution,” how are they going to use complex visual cues to search for threats? Who can’t get stressed with all this nonsense going on?

Oye… sorry for the length…