Travelocity’s Roaming Gnome needs no introduction. This summer, everyone’s favorite lawn ornament is embarking on what he calls the Summer of Possibilities tour to promote the season’s travel bargains. The gnome’s social media friends vote on his next destination, and away he goes. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to interview the reclusive statue.
Q: I think I get it. It takes a gnome to remind us that there’s no shortage of deals this summer. Get it? Shortage?
Roaming Gnome: Oh, I get it alright. Very funny, Chris, but don’t you know that the best things come in small packages? Let’s see you try and fit snugly into the overhead baggage compartment, shall we? And besides, my pointy red hat adds at least another couple of inches to my height.
Q: I assume you don’t roam alone. Please introduce me to your entourage.
Roaming Gnome: Besides my airbrush tan artist, my reiki healer, and the person who sips my coffee first to see if it’s too hot, you mean? No, just pulling your leg, Chris. I’m more of a tea drinker myself.
Q: Now that your Twitter and Facebook followers are telling you where to go this summer, do you have any second thoughts about this social media thing?
Roaming Gnome: My word, no! Those chaps are chock-full of terrific ideas. I’m rather enjoying being at their mercy. Just as long as no one suggests a one-way ticket to Alcatraz, I should be fine and dandy.
Q: Do you have a wish list? You know, where you want to go during this tour?
Roaming Gnome: We’ve got some jolly good destinations coming up for people to choose between, and I’d be tickled pink to visit any of them. Actually, voting began today on the Grand Canyon versus Yellowstone National Park. I mean, is that a toughie or is that a toughie? Well, I’ll tell you, Chris: that’s a toughie.
Q: Is that really your scream when you’re falling off the cliff?
Roaming Gnome: Ah, one of life’s great mysteries! It’s like the old saying goes: if a Gnome screams when he falls off a cliff and no-one’s around to hear it, does he make a sound?
Christopher Elliott is the author of Scammed: How to Save Your Money and Find Better Service in a World of Schemes, Swindles, and Shady Deals. Critics have called it “eye-opening” and “inspiring” — it’ll “grab your attention and won’t let go.” Order your copy now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iTunes.

Elliott is consumer advocate
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