Illusionist reveals TSA is all smoke and mirrors

November 4, 2008

It is no small irony that Daniel Sylvester, a.k.a. the magician Sylvester the Jester, contacted me several days ago to reveal his mistreatment at the hands of the Transportation Security Administration — and to share his troubling conclusions about a federal agency that likes to think of itself as our last line of defense against terrorism.

In August, Sylvester returned to Los Angeles from a short gig in Tempe, Ariz. When he opened his checked luggage, he discovered that its contents had been unceremoniously dumped out and then thrown back in.

There was a telltale sign of who created this mess because there was TSA tape over some of the props they had broken and a few odd and ends that they left strewn in the interior.

Several props were damaged and an expensive Sennheiser cordless microphone receiver was left loose to clank around in the interior of the case instead of being in its protective case.

Sylvester immediately phoned the TSA and was directed to the agency’s site to file a claim. He did, sending photos of the damage and repair estimates. Two weeks later, he got a call from a TSA representative.

She said they had reviewed my claim, and that I really did not provide proof that TSA was responsible damage of my equipment.

I explained that I carefully packed my equipment. And who else could have opened it and damaged it?

She replied in a surly tone, “Well I read your statement that you checked in two hours early, which means that anyone could have opened your case and messed around with things. Sometimes airline employees get bored and that’s what they’ll do.”

The TSA representative also told him with “definitive arrogance” that it couldn’t honor his claim because he didn’t have receipts for the damaged items.

Wow. It sure didn’t take long for the TSA to steal a page from the airline playbook on luggage claims. Its secret manual includes instructions on how to deny you are responsible for the damage and avoid paying a claim by insisting on seeing receipts that you know the passenger doesn’t have.

One of these days I’ll find that manual.

Sylvester has had some time to ponder the effectiveness of the TSA. I think his conclusions are interesting.

As a magician, and as someone who understands perception better then most, I can honestly say with great confidence that the TSA is a waste of time and taxpayers’ money.

Any truly committed terrorist would not be effected by TSA in the least.

The problem with the function of TSA is that their heads are pointed in the wrong direction. Instead of interviewing the people, and making making sure they know who is flying and why, they herd us like unintelligent cattle and go through all of our luggage to see if we have anything that could be used as a weapon or that can be flammable.

In fact, the whole airplane is flammable and can be a weapon.

This all sickens me.

Sylvester probably speaks for a lot of travelers. The TSA has lost its way. Or maybe it never had a way to begin with.

And who better to expose an illusion than an illusionist?

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8 comments

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

LAURA November 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm

The TSA and its rules are an illusion to convince people that flying is safe.

Does anyone really believe that having 3.4 oz containers in a quart-sized ziplock makes us safe when the screeners have no idea what the liquids could be?

And the rules keep changing as to what’s allowed in carry-on bags without any notification. Yesterday, going from Newark to San Diego, my mom had a sealed bottle of store-bought salts and spices she’d bought in Greece (we’d returned to JFK two days earlier) seized from her carry-on, which according to TSA has recently been banned and must be in checked luggage. And it wasn’t a large quantity either.

I just went to the TSA web site and no where does it indicate that salt and other spices and herbs are banned from carry-on, factory sealed or not. These types of silly, inconsistent, and “without warning” policies continue to frustrate travelers to no end.

Buying products while traveling is just part of the fun of travel, but now we have to think twice given airline baggage weight restrictions and charges for additional checked bags, as well as the TSA’s ever changing policies.

Sharon November 26, 2008 at 3:58 pm

Yes, dealing with TSA is the most inefficient and frustrating component to the flying experience. I hear lots of people complaining about TSA and my brief website research revealed that there are many posted complaints, lawsuits and general dissatisfaction among airline consumers and yet NOTHING seems to be done about it, NOTHING seems to be openly acknowledged and NOTHING seems to be improving.

Any time that I have made a formal complaint, I get a similar response and have given up trying to resolve any issues with them (which is probably their tactic to dissuade people from pursuing claims after all).

Christopher, do you have any way to help us out? An authority above the TSA bureaucracy to complain to? Some ombudsmanship that would result in getting some due compensation and satisfaction? We already know that people are often annoyed and dismissed by TSA but what we are hoping for is actual resolution and a place to turn to that will advocate for the consumer. Any ideas? If not, that is why people like me get discouraged yet again and feel like any action we take is futile and merely adding to the long list of ignored complaints.

David December 2, 2008 at 11:25 am

Sharon.

The only suggestion I can make is to wait about 7 weeks then contact the White House. President-Elect Obama will be in office after Jan 20th 2009 and the President is the ultimate authority over organisations like the TSA, DHS and FAA.

karen diamond July 21, 2009 at 4:03 pm

As a 64 year old woman born in Phila, Pa. I am totally disgusted at the intrusive, offensive, and humiliating manner in which folks with joint replacements are treated by the TSA agents. I’ve had both a hip and knee replacement and bring my own scooter to the airport since I can’t walk any distance. On my first trip after surgery, I was made to get out of the scooter without my cane, walk several feet unassisted which was nearly impossible, and then a TSA agent actually pulled out my pants and looked inside my underwear. The next time I refused to get out of the scooter, and an agent felt all around my breasts with her hands. By the third trip, the agent asked if I was sensitive to touch anywhere on my body, and I said,” I’m sensitive on my entire body when a stranger touches me.” She at least used a wand but then checked my hands for bomb residue. She told me it’d make her job easier if I could tell her what a terrorist looked like, and I informed her that terrorists were able bodied and could walk. And most importantly, NOONE goes through the extreme pain of having a joint replacement unless they want to LIVE. Does anyone feel safer due to what they are putting old people through? If you’re going to check for bomb residue, check people who can actually walk.
Chris, is there anyway to deal with this humiliation?

Carl Lundstrom August 25, 2009 at 11:33 am

I am glad to see that car rental rates have finally returned to normal, after 2 months of unreal rates. In May I rented a compact car in Denver for $ 12/day. Two months later they wanted $ 140/day for the same car there. I finally got them down to $ 80/day for a compact. A mid size car, in Boston the same week, cost me $ 101/day. If that is not prize gouging, I don’t know what is.

Duke Nukem November 12, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I guess Kip Hawley is an idiot.

Stephen - NYC November 14, 2009 at 5:21 am

“better then most,” ok, so spelling is not his strong point. “.better than most.”
Anyway, the TSA now has a twitter account, so you can also tweet your problems to them. Or just follow along and see what’s happening with them.
http://twitter.com/TSABlogTeam
Thank you Duke Nukem (like the id, too) for the reference as I didn’t recall the incident. For anyone else, here is what it refers to (be sure to read the ‘criticism’ paragraph). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kip_Hawley

Bryan January 11, 2010 at 9:56 am

A government that is unresponsive to its citizens? Welcome to the new America where the governement has all of the power and the citizens have none. When we as a people are willing to give up freedom and endow the federal government with powers that they shouldn’t have, we will become an inconvience and treated as such. We all act like we are suprised that this is happening.

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