There’s more fallout from the AirtTran-kicks-family-off-plane incident, which has galvanized the traveling public like nothing since the TSA’s silly liquid-and-gel ban.
To recap: AirTran recently removed a Massachusetts couple from a flight after their crying three-year-old daughter refused to take her seat before takeoff. The airline says the flight was already delayed, and that it was just following FAA rules when it showed the family the door.
Still, AirTran reimbursed the booted passengers $595 — the cost of the three tickets — and let them fly home the next day. (AirTran’s policies don’t specifically address unruly children, as far as I can tell.)
The emails from readers have been coming in at a relentless pace. And they’re all saying the same thing: “Way to go, AirTran.”
But some went further.
“I’m going to suggest the politically incorrect solution,” wrote Lyn Greenhill, a regular reader of my site who had the misfortune of being trapped on a recent flight that he described as a “nightmare of wailing brats”.
“There is really no good reason to be dragging these infants and toddlers around, along with all the equipment necessary to feed, clothe and entertain them. We need to start looking at families with small kids for what they really are — selfish bores. They demand special attention from the hotels, rental cars, and airlines because they believe it is a constitutional right for them to travel. Well, it is a privilege, and it is high time for that to be revoked. Leave ‘em home until they can behave.”
“BAN KIDS!” wrote another reader, Jeff T., who wisely chose not to reveal his last name.
Others felt that my modest proposal to offer free Benadryl to the littlest passengers — a strategy I’ve tried with my own kids, by the way — had some merit.
“A canister of Prozac to be dispensed into the air conditioning would do the trick,” suggested Bob Johnson, who is also a long-time reader of this site. “We would have to seal the crew though or we would end up in Mazatlan rather than Los Angeles.”
I don’t think we should bother sealing in the flight attendants. They, of all people, could use a little happy gas.
Having reviewed the many emails that I received — and by the way, thanks, everyone for the feedback — I think there’s been a shift in attitudes toward children on planes. I guess, more specifically, toward negligent parents of unruly kids … the kind that allow their misbehaving offspring to roam the aisles and terrorize passengers.
Whereas even a few years ago, there were some compassionate souls who were willing to say, “Give them a chance. Maybe they’re just having a bad day,” there are now none to be found.
The message seems pretty clear to me: If your kids can’t behave, take the bus. And bravo to AirTran for sending the three-year-old and her family packing!
As the father of a four-year-old, a two-year-old and a two-month-old, all I can say to that is: uh-oh.
✓ Get the latest travel news, tips and commentary from Elliott’s E-Mail, the subversive newsletter from industry gadfly Christopher Elliott. You’ll travel like a pro. Sign up here. It’s free.
Sign up for my 
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Shame as airlines book seats they couldnt just sit all the passengers w/kids to the back of the plane..let them all sit together and commiserate. Or maybe the kids will make friends and play nice?? Yeah right!
One of the reasons some of the littlest passengers are screaming is because their ears hurt . . .kids don’t all have the ability to clear their eustachion tubes and relieve the pressure. I gave my 18 mo old grandson a decongestant before traveling so he wouldn’t feel any pain. Worked like a charm. Plus, it made him sleepy and he slept the whole flight. If more parents would pre-medicate with something to dry secretions, alot of these kids wouldn’t be in pain and screaming.
For the kids who are just plain undisciplined, I would recommend my solution to the “kicking the back of my seat” problem. I got up, turned around in my seat and told the kid “Quite kicking the back of my damn seat” in a loud and angry voice (my best grandma voice!). Have never had to say anything again to the kid and have never had a problem with the parents. Most were quite embarrassed about a stranger having to say something to their child about his/her behavior.
My daughter was an FA with AA for the 15 years before 9/11. In the mid-90s, she had a problem with a middle eastern family on one of her very long cross-country flights. The little boy, about 6-7 yrs old, was running amok on the flight and causing interference with the FA meal service. My daughter had told the kid several times to take his seat. She was ignored. She finally told the boy in no uncertain terms and a raised voice to sit down. The father confronted her about her correcting his child. He told her that in his country women could not speak to males in that manner. She very politely informed him that they weren’t in his country and the kid better stay in his seat because that’s how things were run in this country!
I had to post on this topic (as I’ve been sending this story to anyone that could read). It’s more that time that airlines or any other business not fall into the sainted “Madonna & Child” stereotype of blissful parent & child. On my flight from London to NY this little boy immediately after takeoff began fidgeting and sliding under his seat on the floor. His mom made half hearted attempts to placate him – but he was “expressing” himself… When the beverage carts were rolled out his mom ordered a bottle of wine and sat back in her seat with her eyes closed. Her son proceeded to run up and down the aisle bothering everyone in sight. Only one flight attendant had the sense to pick him up and deposit him back into the seat next to his mother and told her to control her child. While we clapped and cheered – the mom ordered another bottle of wine.
I agree that AirTrain did the right thing in this case, but I am compelled to respond to Lyn Greenhill’s comment on constitutional rights. The first amendment gives us the right to privacy. A penumbra (or hidden, but inherent right) of the first amendment of the Constitution is that we have the right to travel around the country.
Here is how one arrives at that conclusion: Anonymity is part of privacy. For example, for people to have a true right to protest the government, they must be able to do so anonymously. If the government tracked protestors, it could make people afraid to protest. Now, if people can protest anonymously, then they must be able to travel to the protest anonymously. Therefore, travelling is a right guarunteed by the Constitution.
I understand that there is no right to travel by air specifically; however, it is important to not let people get away with giving away our rights. Enough of them have been encroached on recently that we must vigorously defend the ones we do have left.
Regarding “rights” – I wonder if Jennifer Sabin is a lawyer. I surmise she is not. It’s usually non-lawyers who these days render all sorts of “legal opinions”. Living half-time in Chile, I always enjoy the signs posted in the buses. These are labeled “RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES” of the passengers. Even if the screaming little ones should have a “right” to travel, their parents have a responsibility to keep them quiet, orderly, and IN THEIR SEATS!
As a grandfather expecting our grandchildrens’ visit 10 days hence, I commiserate with those passengers who are abused by today’s children. On the other hand, I look forward to their visit.
Maybe a separate flight geared to families is the answer, since we don’t have decent train service.
I think Dr. Ganriel has an excellent idea. Somehow, someway, the airlines might even find a profit angle in it. I fear that some parents would baulk at the idea of some many children on the plane, however. Misery might love company but they would most likely think everyone ELSE’S child(ren) was (were) the problem (never theirs!)
I think that this is just another step down the ladder of parents not being able to discipline, not abuse, their children for fear of some busybody calling the cops on them.
Jennifer:
I don’t know if the right to travel is as clearly inferred from the Constitution as you suggest, but since I’m not an attorney, I’ll leave that aside.
Years ago I did work about a year as a police officer, then about nine years in the private security sector. In both cases I had to learn a fair amount about the law, including about the Constitution, though of course not in a very formal way, nor, certainly, to the extent of a properly trained attorney.
I do remember one point defense attorneys, prosecutors, judges, and professors of law hammered home again and again and again: whatever rights I have stop at the tip of my nose when my exercising of my rights infringes in any way — no matter how slightly — on the rights of others.
If you’re correct about the Constitutional right to travel (which, I suspect, may indeed be the case), then I’m probably correct to surmise that when the other person’s unruly brat is disturbing me, then *my* rights are being violated.
The daughter of a friend of mine here in Bangkok is a flight attendant for Thai International. One night she came to visit, and complained about a misbehaved child in her section on a long flight from London to Bangkok. (It finally took the pilot’s coming out of the cockpit and telling the parents if they continued to refuse to restrain their child, who was physically striking people, throwing food and drinks around, and so forth), he was going to make an unscheduled stop in India and have the police escort them from the plane. While that did the trick, he should never have been put in that position in the first place.
I asked my friend if the airline’s management had ever considered making a closed-off cabin at the rear of the plane to cater specifically to families. I had in mind a bulkhead that could be left open should no passengers have small children. She said she didn’t know, but would submit a suggestion such a scheme be considered.
She did, and got a nice letter of commendation in her personnel record for it, but was told it is too expensive to make such a cabin. When she told me that, I suggested the airline could add a hefty surcharge for seating in it. She has submitted that suggestion as well, but now, after well over a year with no reply to her, I guess that suggestion is dead in the water.
I do think flight attendants ought to have more authority to speak up. A few months ago I was on a flight on which there was a lady and two small children across the aisle and one row in front of me. The children were shrieking — but apparently not in pain, as they were shrieking laughter, running up and down the aisles, plucking at passengers’ clothing, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. All while Mama looked on in smiling, approving indulgence. It was obvious our flight attendant was considerably less than amused (same as me), but she held her peace — until the gentleman seated in front of me politely asked her if she could do anything to get the children quiet and under control. The hostess immediately turned to the Mother and politely asked her to restrain her children, which the woman huffily refused to do. (She apparently was unaware of the complaint from the other passenger.)
The hostess then made a threat she probably couldn’t have backed up: she said she would ask the pilot to make an emergency landing and have the Thai police haul the lady and her children away. Given we were in a 747 on a Bangkok-Vientiane flight of just under an hour, and given I don’t think there are many, if any, airports along the way that can handle such a large aircraft, I doubt the pilot could have complied, even were he so inclined. But the threat worked.
A bit later, the hostess went to the guy in front of me on some pretense — delivering a drink or some such, and quietly thanked him, explaining airline rules prohibited her from saying anything until either a child actually damaged something (or hurt someone) *or* until a passenger complained — so his complaint loosened the restrictions on her. I hadn’t known she worked under such restrictions, so overhearing her conversation was enlightening. I should say I have no idea if this is pretty common among carriers or not.
As I exited the aircraft in Vientiane, the pilots, as usual, were near the door thanking passengers. I told them they ought to put in my section’s hostess for a gold star. their curiosity aroused, one of them asked if I had time to wait a few minutes outside so they could speak with me further. Not in any hurry, I readily agreed, and we made a plan to meet at a coffee shop beyond immigration and customs.
They showed up — with *all* the flight attendants in tow. Once settled in, they asked me the details and to identify my hostess. I told them, and identified her. She was embarrassed but clearly pleased. I hadn’t noticed the guy who had complained was seated at a table nearby until he strode over and confirmed my story.
The other passenger and I picked up the crew’s drink tab, and everyone ended up having a pleasant interlude after a most unpleasant flight. (And I hope that flight attendant DID get a great, big, beautiful gold star!)
I have children, 11 and 12 now, who travel with my husband and I frequently. They are always well-behaved on a trip, as we expect exceedingly high standards from them. Although we do have the right to travel, I let them know it is a privilege for them. We often receive complements on their behavior, and have repeatedly over the last decade. This good behavior is no accident. I plan a lot, including making sure they have material to read, (quiet) games to play, and snacks. It takes me hours to prepare, but it is worth it to have a great vacation with our kids.
That said, and I have encountered my share of ill-mannered children, often in the presence of an oblivious parent. I do believe that these parents should be alerted to the problems their children’s behavior is causing. I also believe that airlines could “prepare” much as I do, having games, kids’ magazines and snacks for those under 12. If the parents won’t, the airlines should. I remember these things being available to me as a young traveler over 25 years ago. I still have my Delta playing cards and United wings.
All too often it is easy to bash the passenger that is inconveniencing you, whether it is the fat guy who has a difficult time fitting in his seat, the child who makes noise when you want to sleep or the shrill woman who just won’t shut up, but each of those “violators” is still a person. You feel you have certain rights, but the fact is, the reason air travel is affordable for you is because you rented one seat on a plane, not the whole plane. You don’t have the right to decide who will or will not fly with you. Naturally YOU are the perfect passenger, and it is others, especially those with children, who cause all the problems. Well, I am writing today to tell you – that is not always the case.
If you want to fly without any children, rent a charter plane. I’ll be in coach, with my kids, if you need me.
I just flew round trip to Orlando with my two year old. She was very well behaved. She did not kick the seat in front of her. But, to head issues off at the pass, I talked to the person in the seat in front of her and said, “If you feel any kind of a kick on your seat, you let me know immediately.” I was not taking chances.
I also scheduled a well-visit dr. appt for her the day before we flew, to have her ears checked for fluids. I figured if they found anything, we could get her on antibiotics for 24 hours before the flight, to head off any ear issues. She ate a snack on the way up and a snack on the way down. No issues whatsoever.
There were probably 20 kids on our very full flight down and probably 10 on the way back. I didn’t hear a single one of them. I understand the desire to suggest a “family section” or a “family flight”. I get it and am not offended. What does offend me is the suggestion that children should not travel! Of all the absurd suggestions I’ve heard, that one is the most insulting. Most children are actually very well behaved. Unfortunately you sometimes get the brats.
As Casey J does, I prepare heavily for travelling with my daughter. I have a carry-on bag with all of her favorite snacks, books, crayons, toys and a portable DVD player with three or four movies to choose from. That portable DVD player makes every trip a cakewalk! If parents took a second to prepare, and then pay attention to their children, 95% of the issues would not even be issues. Yes, you would still have the occasional child crying because of ears hurting or an infant crying due to gas, etc… but really, a squalling infant is nothing compared to a three year old in full tantrum mode.
I remember the AirTran story well. I fully support AirTran’s removal of that family with the out of control 3 year old. My daughter has had fits before where she didn’t want to go into her car seat. Guess what, I’m bigger and stronger, and guess who won THAT battle? The parents could have easily picked her up and stuck her in her seat. And while the other passengers might have had to endure a tantrum for a while, the plane would have gone on to its destination and that would have been that. Instead it sounded to me like the parents chose to cater to a tantrum rather than take control. Ridiculous.