If it would be prohibitively expensive, then don't do it. It is that simple. Or, live with the fact that there may come a time in which you have to cancel a trip and lose some or all of the money. But don't buy the cheeper option with the cynical plan to raise hell, if you ever must cancel a trip, so that you end up getting the no-penalty cancellation for free (an option that others paid for).

I own a furniture store. We sell about 40% from stock, and 60% custom order. Custom orders can not be cancelled after 3 days because, by that time, we are locked in with the manufacturer who will not give us, the retailer, any refund on the order. Our customers know this up front, and it is in the signed sales order contract. Sometimes, with more or less good reason (more being “we ordered this chair for my husband, and he just died of a massive heart attack,” less being, “I just changed my mind.”) we are asked to make exceptions. And we often do make exceptions, but customers who act as though we are obligated to do so really take the cake. No one forces you to buy an airline ticket, or a pink and green striped sofa. If you do, and the terms and conditions of sale clearly indicate that you cannot get a refund, then what is the problem? Be an honorable adult and accept the implecations of the agreement that you freely made. Why did you agree to terms that you didn’t have the integrity to honor?

Your argument reminds me of the situation faced by the Captain in the Herman Melville story “Billy Budd.” The Captain followed the rules, to a t. You might find reading it thought-provoking.

My mother in law (currently 93 years old) has been on the verge of death for at least ten years. Should we not travel?
Should all tickets purchased during the last decade have been refundable?

I know, none of our erstwhile bloggers here would ever make up the excuse about dead grandparents to escape paying a non-refundable fee. They’d have maimed children, or the dog died, or the car broken down, or some other likely excuse.

For those of you who don’t get the geography of LA, the desert gets about 10 days of rain a year, most of it in summer with monsoon thunderstorms. . . . winter is usually gorgeous.

I have heard well over a hundred times, “my grandmother just died and we have to go to the funeral, I hope you won’t penalize me for our last minute cancellation.”

We then always say “we are sorry for your loss, we are having beautiful weather. We will need a copy of the death certificate.” 9 times out of 10 the person will say “You are having beautiful weather? Weather.com shows rain.”

We explain that the national weather service does not have an office in Palm Springs and always gets our predictions wrong. The people then come to our resort. We have never once received a death certificate for a grandmother. I guess the grandmothers rise from the dead.

Now for parents, children, and siblings, I would say 95% of the time the guest is telling the truth if they say they are critically ill or passed away. And spouses is 100% truthful.

It’s a tough call. The airlines always overbook to cover themselves for last minute cancellations, whereas small boutique resorts like ours never overbook.

Last minute cancellations cost us probably $30, 000 in lost profits per year where we turned away guests and then sit empty due to cancellations. That is a lot of money we lose for being honorable and guaranteeing rooms, and guests not being honorable and cancelling last minute.

So my advice is if you aren’t sure because you have an ill parent, etc. book last minute and use something like priceline.com for last minute airfares.

I’m tired of a society where everyone is a victim. My Dad died of a service related illness before my 14th birthday, SO WHAT! I should get some kind of break? Look it’s life and poopie happens.

Mr Darling worked the system to his advantage and it worked out. So the lesson to us all is when life hands you lemons don’t make lemonade whine to the grower that you got shorted and didn’t get enough lemons to make a decent lemonade. If that fails threaten to sue the grower, the delivery company, supermarket and the check out girl. Still no luck? Go to the media and Presto Chango you get a full truckload of lemons..

NON-REFUNDABLE mean just that! Stop with the “Cat peed on my homework” grade school excuses.

But feel free to withdraw your concern and defense, I understand the stages very well and insensitivity is up to the beholder. I was merely asking why Paulette thought a death from a debilitating lung ailment of which the final stages are truly nasty was better than one from dementia? The only difference I can see is that when one dies from the lung ailment one is more in control of faculties and able to communicate and recognize family members – but also experience the excruciating symptoms of emphysema as the person you always knew. If it were me, I rather my loved one was completely checked out from the demenita before they end their life permanently out of breath and in a permanent state of hypoxia.

Mr. Farrell, must you insist on proving how insensitive you truly are? That last comment was completely uncalled for and distracted from the discussion at hand.

However, my other comments on Mr. Darling’s situation still stand.

I would not call that compassionate or fortunate. . .. fortunate for you perhaps – but then most folks are selfish that way.

Chris’s article does not state if Mr. Darling’s trip was for a random vacation or a particular event. Common sense tells one, though, that he should not book non-refundable tickets anywhere near a year in advance if he knows that his plans have a better than average chance of needing to be changed and he will not have time to apply the credit to another flight. Your choices are then to take a road trip that is more flexible and does not require plane tickets or to not book them so far in advance (or save up a little bit longer to buy the non-restricted fare).

Mr. Darling, you knew the rules before you purchased your tickets and by “playing the game” you absolutely are guilty of abusing the system. Yes, supervisors can be sympathetic and help people in dire circumstances, but passengers should be responsible for their choices (the choice to take this kind of trip, obviously not the circumstances regarding your mother’s health). You could have saved yourself an unnecessary headache by making different choices to begin with.

You and your mother are both in my prayers. My comments are not intended to be unsympathetic (it seems that most commenters here are indeed sympathetic to your position with your mother), but sometimes it is easier to look at a situation if you are not directly emotionally involved.