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Talkative Travelers
Ask Chris · October 4, 2000

Q: I rode from Washington to New York on Amtrak's Metroliner last week and a person behind me talked on the cell phone literally all the way to Philadelphia.

The situation is becoming intolerable. My direct appeals to Amtrak have been fruitless.

There is a debate over cell phone use being hazardous to one's health. It will be one day, when I commit a violent act!

-- David Speedie

A: Don't do it, David! Attacking a chatty passenger isn't the answer.

Let's assume that Amtrak remains silent on the issue of excessively verbal passengers. In the future, it's not inconceivable that it will create a special car where passengers can conduct business - kind of like a smoking section for cell phone users - but for now, let's just say you're stuck with it.

How do you handle it?

  • First, try to move. Unless you're traveling at peak times, there are always seats that are available. It doesn't make any sense to stand your ground when someone around you is engaging in annoying behavior.

  • If the train's full, then ask the passenger to quiet down. Ever notice how many cell phone users scream into their wireless devices, as if they're on a first-generation analog phone (remember the ones that weighed about as much as a brick and cost more than a computer?). Be polite and civil about it.

  • Still no response? Then call the conductor. It's up to the Amtrak employee to mediate any dispute between travelers. The loser gets to take the next train. Often, a conductor will try to find alternate seating for you or the offending passenger. And hey, that's better than getting into a fistfight, isn't it?

  • Finally, consider a "silencer." With a little engineering knowledge, you could build a limited-range 800 Megahertz scrambler. Such a contraption would cost less than $100 in parts to construct, but it would yield immediate benefits. Try as hard as he might, the traveler next to you could neither receive a call nor make one.
Good luck finding a quieter train, David.

Christopher Elliott is a travel commentator and author of A Bridge to Nowhere: A Year in the Florida Keys. All e-mailed questions may be edited, condensed or republished at the site's discretion. Ask Chris appears weekly on this site.